Rules of dating..

[Iaminnocentgul]

I am into serious dating. In my profile I have mentioned that I am looking for something serious and nothing like fling. Despite this guys are expecting a quick sex and all. They say that they want to see whether we can be comfortable with each other. With me it's different. I will have sex only if I am absolutely comfortable and have that level of attraction. For me it builds up with time. Not in 2 or 3 dates. I like the guy but they think it's time consuming. I don't understand what to do.

How should I approach guys and make my point without frustrating them. What are dating rules for this.

[Mrin]

Guy here. Great question. I've been counseling one of my close female friends through this very topic. She's like you - wants to get to know the guy before having sex. So, a few hard truths (note: this is all from a US perspective):

 

Generally speaking...

 

1. Unless something is said otherwise, sex is expected to occur in the 3 - 5 date range. Or if you go to the guy's house. NOTE: if you go to the guy's house, he's expecting sex. Period. End of story.

 

2. Sex on dates 1 and 2 is considered early. Sure it can happen but it usually isn't expected.

 

3. If a guy has hit date 5 and there still isn't any sex, then he's going to start losing interest.

 

4. IMHO there is some sort of bell curve in play where sex expectations are shorter in your early 20's, peak in your mid 30's and then go back down as you get into your 40's. The early 20's thing make sense. The 40's thing makes sense when you approach it from the standpoint that you're adults, know what you want and how you want it, probably don't have that much time and have long ago discarded any notion of being chaste.

 

5. There are lots of reasons why guys expect sex in this time frame. I'll toss out a couple. a) they're horny and like to have sex b) only women they've been with have had sex with this same general time frame and c) with the advent of OLD they have more options and want to see if there is a sexual connection before spending any more time on a woman (vs. another woman).

 

If you aren't good with the above time frames, that's cool. That's your prerogative. But you have to realize that you might decrease the pool of dating options you have. Just like a guy who insists on having sex on dates 1 and 2 - they're ruling out a whole host of women who don't want that.

 

That being said, here's the number one thing you can do: be open about your preferences. Find a way to let him know on date 1 or 2 that a) you enjoy sex very much but that b) you like to get to know a guy more than most women. Even consider give some sort of date range. Just be upfront about it and let him decide whether he wants to keep dating you.

 

Best of luck!

 

Mrin

[spiderowl]

Most guys don't read all of a profile - the first few lines maybe. Mostly, they look at a picture and decide there and then whether they fancy you or not. If they are physically attracted to you and have the urge to have sex with you, they will assume you feel the same too. Their reaction is not rational, it is projection, but that's the way they think sometimes.

 

You are entitled to stick to your own rules when dating. If a guy puts pressure on you, tell him what was in your profile and that you mean it. He is going to try and test you out because he will want to see if you mean it. Some guys will give up once they realise you are not going to leap into bed with them on the first, second or even third date; others will like you for you and stay with the relationship until you are both ready.

 

You might want to think about the 'serious' thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting something serious and stating it in your profile. In practice, you might want to tone it back a bit, the reason being that you might find if you do not find a guy of interest to you that he will become deadly serious about YOU because that's what he read you wanted (and he is very keen). It might be best to keep it as 'getting to know you and see how it goes', then you have a way out if someone tries to corner you and you don't like them. You can of course say no to anyone, that is not a problem, but sometimes people get that 'serious' fixed in their head and think they are in a relationship with you because you've agreed to meet them once.

 

In summary, don't let anyone pressure you into something that does not feel right for you. A guy does not need to have sex with you to decide whether he should go on more dates with you. If he is keen and likes you, he will want time with you and sex would be a bonus.

Edited January 3, 2017 by spiderowl

[Iaminnocentgul]

Guy here. Great question. I've been counseling one of my close female friends through this very topic. She's like you - wants to get to know the guy before having sex. So, a few hard truths (note: this is all from a US perspective):

 

Generally speaking...

 

1. Unless something is said otherwise, sex is expected to occur in the 3 - 5 date range. Or if you go to the guy's house. NOTE: if you go to the guy's house, he's expecting sex. Period. End of story.

 

2. Sex on dates 1 and 2 is considered early. Sure it can happen but it usually isn't expected.

 

3. If a guy has hit date 5 and there still isn't any sex, then he's going to start losing interest.

 

4. IMHO there is some sort of bell curve in play where sex expectations are shorter in your early 20's, peak in your mid 30's and then go back down as you get into your 40's. The early 20's thing make sense. The 40's thing makes sense when you approach it from the standpoint that you're adults, know what you want and how you want it, probably don't have that much time and have long ago discarded any notion of being chaste.

 

5. There are lots of reasons why guys expect sex in this time frame. I'll toss out a couple. a) they're horny and like to have sex b) only women they've been with have had sex with this same general time frame and c) with the advent of OLD they have more options and want to see if there is a sexual connection before spending any more time on a woman (vs. another woman).

 

If you aren't good with the above time frames, that's cool. That's your prerogative. But you have to realize that you might decrease the pool of dating options you have. Just like a guy who insists on having sex on dates 1 and 2 - they're ruling out a whole host of women who don't want that.

 

That being said, here's the number one thing you can do: be open about your preferences. Find a way to let him know on date 1 or 2 that a) you enjoy sex very much but that b) you like to get to know a guy more than most women. Even consider give some sort of date range. Just be upfront about it and let him decide whether he wants to keep dating you.

 

Best of luck!

 

Mrin

 

I am in my 30s. So you say dating is a game governed by guys interest.? Thats what it feels like.

 

They chat for day and night. We share so many things. We feel we have initial attraction. We have couple of dates and then when it comes to this rule f 3 to 5 dates and have sex and they don't get it, their opinion change. Till then they treat you like Queen of his world but later they leave saying you are good girl - bye. Period.

I don't understand this. When they fancy a girl for weeks, talks with her, have successful dates and simply leave because she needs time to connect... With the same girl whom they have talked all so good now feel, it's time consuming... Some guys have even claimed that they just not like me but love me. Just in second date. But when asked for time, they run away. Phew!

 

As for the time period I need - I don't know till guys are ready to move on after 2 or 3rd date. No one has ever crossed 3 dates. I may have sex on 4th or 5th but should we really put a counter for it. Really! Are emotions countable? I may have sex in 6-7-8 depending on the person.

 

I think I also have a problem. In initial 1 or 2 dates only, I understand what he is looking for. I understand that his typical next move will be, come to my house and let's have an evening together...... Which turns me off totally. Because of that they all the more push me away from them. Which even more restricts me to open up with him fully on 3rd date..............

 

This exact thing has happened in all dates I have been to. Such a roller coaster ride. A see-saw of emotions and sex.... Eurgh!

[LookAtThisPOst]

Guy here. Great question. I've been counseling one of my close female friends through this very topic. She's like you - wants to get to know the guy before having sex. So, a few hard truths (note: this is all from a US perspective):

 

Generally speaking...

 

1. Unless something is said otherwise, sex is expected to occur in the 3 - 5 date range. Or if you go to the guy's house. NOTE: if you go to the guy's house, he's expecting sex. Period. End of story.

 

2. Sex on dates 1 and 2 is considered early. Sure it can happen but it usually isn't expected.

 

3. If a guy has hit date 5 and there still isn't any sex, then he's going to start losing interest.

 

4. IMHO there is some sort of bell curve in play where sex expectations are shorter in your early 20's, peak in your mid 30's and then go back down as you get into your 40's. The early 20's thing make sense. The 40's thing makes sense when you approach it from the standpoint that you're adults, know what you want and how you want it, probably don't have that much time and have long ago discarded any notion of being chaste.

 

5. There are lots of reasons why guys expect sex in this time frame. I'll toss out a couple. a) they're horny and like to have sex b) only women they've been with have had sex with this same general time frame and c) with the advent of OLD they have more options and want to see if there is a sexual connection before spending any more time on a woman (vs. another woman).

 

If you aren't good with the above time frames, that's cool. That's your prerogative. But you have to realize that you might decrease the pool of dating options you have. Just like a guy who insists on having sex on dates 1 and 2 - they're ruling out a whole host of women who don't want that.

 

That being said, here's the number one thing you can do: be open about your preferences. Find a way to let him know on date 1 or 2 that a) you enjoy sex very much but that b) you like to get to know a guy more than most women. Even consider give some sort of date range. Just be upfront about it and let him decide whether he wants to keep dating you.

 

Best of luck!

 

Mrin

 

OP Don't listen to this drivel that there's an "X" amount of dates before sex is expected. From your post, I gather you're not wanting this in the least, so...if you run into men like these, find men that DON'T do this.

[Iaminnocentgul]

Most guys don't read all of a profile - the first few lines maybe. Mostly, they look at a picture and decide there and then whether they fancy you or not. If they are physically attracted to you and have the urge to have sex with you, they will assume you feel the same too. Their reaction is not rational, it is projection, but that's the way they think sometimes.

 

You are entitled to stick to your own rules when dating. If a guy puts pressure on you, tell him what was in your profile and that you mean it. He is going to try and test you out because he will want to see if you mean it. Some guys will give up once they realise you are not going to leap into bed with them on the first, second or even third date; others will like you for you and stay with the relationship until you are both ready.

 

You might want to think about the 'serious' thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting something serious and stating it in your profile. In practice, you might want to tone it back a bit, the reason being that you might find if you do not find a guy of interest to you that he will become deadly serious about YOU because that's what he read you wanted (and he is very keen). It might be best to keep it as 'getting to know you and see how it goes', then you have a way out if someone tries to corner you and you don't like them. You can of course say no to anyone, that is not a problem, but sometimes people get that 'serious' fixed in their head and think they are in a relationship with you because you've agreed to meet them once.

 

In summary, don't let anyone pressure you into something that does not feel right for you. A guy does not need to have sex with you to decide whether he should go on more dates with you. If he is keen and likes you, he will want time with you and sex would be a bonus.

 

Advise duly taken. I will update my profile to make it more subtle... thank you for your advise.

[Iaminnocentgul]

Guy here. Great question. I've been counseling one of my close female friends through this very topic. She's like you - wants to get to know the guy before having sex. So, a few hard truths (note: this is all from a US perspective):

 

Generally speaking...

 

1. Unless something is said otherwise, sex is expected to occur in the 3 - 5 date range. Or if you go to the guy's house. NOTE: if you go to the guy's house, he's expecting sex. Period. End of story.

 

2. Sex on dates 1 and 2 is considered early. Sure it can happen but it usually isn't expected.

 

3. If a guy has hit date 5 and there still isn't any sex, then he's going to start losing interest.

 

4. IMHO there is some sort of bell curve in play where sex expectations are shorter in your early 20's, peak in your mid 30's and then go back down as you get into your 40's. The early 20's thing make sense. The 40's thing makes sense when you approach it from the standpoint that you're adults, know what you want and how you want it, probably don't have that much time and have long ago discarded any notion of being chaste.

 

5. There are lots of reasons why guys expect sex in this time frame. I'll toss out a couple. a) they're horny and like to have sex b) only women they've been with have had sex with this same general time frame and c) with the advent of OLD they have more options and want to see if there is a sexual connection before spending any more time on a woman (vs. another woman).

 

If you aren't good with the above time frames, that's cool. That's your prerogative. But you have to realize that you might decrease the pool of dating options you have. Just like a guy who insists on having sex on dates 1 and 2 - they're ruling out a whole host of women who don't want that.

 

That being said, here's the number one thing you can do: be open about your preferences. Find a way to let him know on date 1 or 2 that a) you enjoy sex very much but that b) you like to get to know a guy more than most women. Even consider give some sort of date range. Just be upfront about it and let him decide whether he wants to keep dating you.

 

Best of luck!

 

Mrin

 

Also I don't understand how can a guy think that because I am taking time I may not be horny or I don't want it.... So much of curiosity now!!!!!!!!!

I maybe equally or even more horny or maybe a n****, but that shouldn't be the case where he decides in 2-3-4-5 dates. So funny! What if I maybe indirectly testing him to see whether he can hold enough to make me happy in future

[Mrin]

I am in my 30s. So you say dating is a game governed by guys interest.? Thats what it feels like.

 

They chat for day and night. We share so many things. We feel we have initial attraction. We have couple of dates and then when it comes to this rule f 3 to 5 dates and have sex and they don't get it, their opinion change. Till then they treat you like Queen of his world but later they leave saying you are good girl - bye. Period.

I don't understand this. When they fancy a girl for weeks, talks with her, have successful dates and simply leave because she needs time to connect... With the same girl whom they have talked all so good now feel, it's time consuming... Some guys have even claimed that they just not like me but love me. Just in second date. But when asked for time, they run away. Phew!

 

As for the time period I need - I don't know till guys are ready to move on after 2 or 3rd date. No one has ever crossed 3 dates. I may have sex on 4th or 5th but should we really put a counter for it. Really! Are emotions countable? I may have sex in 6-7-8 depending on the person.

 

I think I also have a problem. In initial 1 or 2 dates only, I understand what he is looking for. I understand that his typical next move will be, come to my house and let's have an evening together...... Which turns me off totally. Because of that they all the more push me away from them. Which even more restricts me to open up with him fully on 3rd date..............

 

This exact thing has happened in all dates I have been to. Such a roller coaster ride. A see-saw of emotions and sex.... Eurgh!

 

I happen to agree with you and honestly don't think you're unreasonable by any stretch of the imagination. But you asked for the "rules" and while there are no hard and fast rules for sure, what I listed are the general expectations that men (and many women) have. I once had a women tell me on a first date that if we're not having sex after date 4 then something isn't working. Ha! Loved her frankness.

 

Look at it this way: any guy who pushes for sex on dates 1 and 2 isn't worth your time. They're self selecting for you. ;-) Actually, in my book any guy who "pushes" for sex with a woman is bad news. If a woman tells your "no" or has to move your hand away then you're doing it wrong. But that's just me.

[Mrin]

Also I don't understand how can a guy think that because I am taking time I may not be horny or I don't want it.... So much of curiosity now!!!!!!!!!

I maybe equally or even more horny or maybe a n****, but that shouldn't be the case where he decides in 2-3-4-5 dates. So funny! What if I maybe indirectly testing him to see whether he can hold enough to make me happy in future

 

Nothing wrong with that. But you just need to be mindful of what expectations many guys have in their heads coming into a dating relationship. That's why I advised you to be explicit and upfront early as to how you prefer more time so they can adjust their expectations or not waste your time.

[Iaminnocentgul]

Nothing wrong with that. But you just need to be mindful of what expectations many guys have in their heads coming into a dating relationship. That's why I advised you to be explicit and upfront early as to how you prefer more time so they can adjust their expectations or not waste your time.

 

Thanks for your advise Mrin! \m/ <3

[Iaminnocentgul]

I happen to agree with you and honestly don't think you're unreasonable by any stretch of the imagination. But you asked for the "rules" and while there are no hard and fast rules for sure, what I listed are the general expectations that men (and many women) have. I once had a women tell me on a first date that if we're not having sex after date 4 then something isn't working. Ha! Loved her frankness.

 

Look at it this way: any guy who pushes for sex on dates 1 and 2 isn't worth your time. They're self selecting for you. ;-) Actually, in my book any guy who "pushes" for sex with a woman is bad news. If a woman tells your "no" or has to move your hand away then you're doing it wrong. But that's just me.

 

Just out of curiosity can I ask a question. If you don't prefer to answer I will be sorry and I will understand.

What happened with the girl later? Like did you date her till 4th date and had sex and now she is your girlfriend or things didn't work out..?

[salparadise]

I am in my 30s. So you say dating is a game governed by guys interest.? Thats what it feels like.

 

No, it's women that choose. Guys apply. Sure they will try to control flow, but it sounds like you've been standing your ground and not playing their game.

 

We have couple of dates and then when it comes to this rule f 3 to 5 dates and have sex and they don't get it, their opinion change. Till then they treat you like Queen of his world but later they leave saying you are good girl - bye. Period.

 

I don't understand this. When they fancy a girl for weeks, talks with her, have successful dates and simply leave because she needs time to connect... With the same girl whom they have talked all so good now feel, it's time consuming... Some guys have even claimed that they just not like me but love me. Just in second date. But when asked for time, they run away. Phew!

 

It sound like you're somewhat inexperienced for your 30s. I think you need to read some evolutionary psychology books to get the gist of it all. In a sentence or two...

 

Men and women have asymmetrical strategies. It's a competition of sorts. Each one dangles what the other wants in order to get what they want. Men want sex, all men. Some will wait and some practice the "cut your losses" rule that Mrin described, and that you've experienced. It's not a rule actually, it's just a cultural average that seems to be prevalent. For the guys, having sex with a lot of women without making an investment has proven to be a successful strategy. He could literally father thousands of progeny in a lifetime.

 

Women tend to want to lock the guy down, have him fall in love and secure a provider, protector with resources before having sex (making babies). This is because childbearing is limited to about a dozen, costly, risky and she needs to maximize the odds for each and every offspring. She needs to be sure the guy will make the familial investment before she sets it all in motion by having sex.

 

The guys you've dated were trying to get sex with no investment. You said no, I require it. They said no, not going to do that –– bye. Negotiations broke down, no deal. Ok, not a problem beyond wasting everyone's time.

 

You need to learn to screen them better. Try going out with a nice guy instead of the alpha types. You want to date guys who are at least open to making the deal rather than getting quick sex and moving on. Sure, they'll tell you they are, but they're dangling and hoping you'll give it up early. Maybe you need to dangle a little more, but not too overtly. You need to be giving them hope that sex will happen if they stick with it.

 

 

I understand that his typical next move will be, come to my house and let's have an evening together...... Which turns me off totally. Because of that they all the more push me away from them. Which even more restricts me to open up with him fully on 3rd date..............

 

This exact thing has happened in all dates I have been to. Such a roller coaster ride. A see-saw of emotions and sex.... Eurgh!

 

Ah, it's not nearly so literal. Well, for some it is I guess. You have to learn to filter the guys and not even bother with the ones who are only trying to get laid. What sort of guys are you going out with anyway? Construction workers, educated, or what? It's a dance and you have to learn to do your dance as well as they do theirs.

 

It's true that most guy are going to give it a reasonable amount of time and move on, but how much time is highly variable depending on both your and the guy. It's all about finding the right match, communicating openly once you develop some trust... and realizing that you are actually the one in control of the whole thing.

[SwordofFlame]

Also I don't understand how can a guy think that because I am taking time I may not be horny or I don't want it.... So much of curiosity now!!!!!!!!!

I maybe equally or even more horny or maybe a n****, but that shouldn't be the case where he decides in 2-3-4-5 dates. So funny! What if I maybe indirectly testing him to see whether he can hold enough to make me happy in future

 

I generally agree with the sex within 3 date "rule". It's been true in my experience as well. If we don't do it within that range, it has never gone anywhere. Here's the thing, in my experience I would be willing to wait longer if a woman can convey that they're sexually attracted to me. Meaning lots of making out, touching, basically whatever you can feasibly do in public because you don't quite want to goto each other's homes just yet. A club or lounge is a good idea. Then again, if you're willing to do all that, you might as well just have sex, right?

 

What I don't like is if the woman just makes me wait while not acting much different than just a platonic friend. If you act like a platonic friend, than that is exactly what I think we're going to be. And if you're doing it to play games, test or to manipulate the guy, than I'm glad I passed on you. Don't want to do deal with women that do that.

[Mrin]

Just out of curiosity can I ask a question. If you don't prefer to answer I will be sorry and I will understand.

What happened with the girl later? Like did you date her till 4th date and had sex and now she is your girlfriend or things didn't work out..?

 

Oh sure, we had a whirlwind romance that lasted 3 months. It died out because of other reasons. Now - that being said - we were both in our early 40's, divorced and both alpha type personalities. She definitely had the "knows what she wants and how to get it" personality traits.

 

That being said, my soulmate (2.5 years and counting) and I had sex somewhere around date #5. But there was such strong attraction and romance that it could have happened on date 5 or 25 - it wouldn't have mattered. That sort of connection is really rare.

 

Hey - one other thing building on what Sal said... part of it is your picker. Picking out the right guys who aren't just looking for sex. One thing you might want to consider doing with your profile is to be really upfront that you are looking for and love romance. That's what caught my attention with my soulmate when she winked at me on Match. Be really upfront - must love romance.

 

Professing a desire for romance is better than looking for a relationship in your profile IMHO. It will screen out dudes just looking for quick sex. Any guy can say he is looking for a relationship. But pulling off romance requires much more authenticity.

 

Good luck!

 

Mrin

Edited January 4, 2017 by Mrin

[Iaminnocentgul]

I generally agree with the sex within 3 date "rule". It's been true in my experience as well. If we don't do it within that range, it has never gone anywhere. Here's the thing, in my experience I would be willing to wait longer if a woman can convey that they're sexually attracted to me. Meaning lots of making out, touching, basically whatever you can feasibly do in public because you don't quite want to goto each other's homes just yet. A club or lounge is a good idea. Then again, if you're willing to do all that, you might as well just have sex, right?

 

What I don't like is if the woman just makes me wait while not acting much different than just a platonic friend. If you act like a platonic friend, than that is exactly what I think we're going to be. And if you're doing it to play games, test or to manipulate the guy, than I'm glad I passed on you. Don't want to do deal with women that do that.

 

Agreed with your point. That's why I asked because I don't want them to be frustrated. I just take time - not for sake of any game playing or drama or test or anything.

[angel.eyes]

OP Don't listen to this drivel that there's an "X" amount of dates before sex is expected. From your post, I gather you're not wanting this in the least, so...if you run into men like these, find men that DON'T do this.

 

Spot on! I met my last two boyfriends using OLD. They had no problems with my dating style. Neither did any of the numerous other men I dated before I became exclusive.

 

First of all, if some guy is disappearing because you don't put out on date #2, 3, or whatever nonsense he claims, then he was going to disappear anyway. He had no intention of sticking around to discover who you really were. He's looking for an easy lay and you're requiring some semblance of getting to know the person. Way too much work! So the facade of sweet nothings, charming flattery, and feigned interest disappears after a date or two and he vanishes in search of an easier NSA prospect. Consider it a bullet dodged.

 

Second, do you really want to be involved with some guy who sleeps with anything that moves? Why all this angst over someone who will sleep with anything and anyone because he needs to test drive all his dates? How is that even attractive? Consider raising your standards!

 

Third, what swamp are you fishing in to find all these men who want nothing but NSA sex? Revisit the dating sites you choose to use. That's usually the main problem. Then read the guy's profile before responding to his message. Just because a guy messages you, doesn't mean he deserves a date with you.

 

I could be completely off here, but in your OP, you're coming across as grateful for any sign of attention and desperate for any guy who will have you. Is it possible that's what you're conveying online in your profile or in your communication with these guys? If so, it will bring out the bottom feeders and push decent guys away.

[Mysterio]

The way that I think. Online or Off. As a Man. I don't even think about having Sex with a woman until we are BF/GF which I think would take about 2 months of steady dating.

 

I guess the more affectionate she is towards me, without me pushing it. The faster things will be.

[Mrin]

One other thing to mention re: OLD dating since it sounds like you're new to it. If you run into a guy who seems great and isn't pushing for early sex but still waives you off/ghosts you after a handful of dates, don't always conclude that it is sex based. Multi-dating on OLD is rampant and he probably found someone else with whom he had a stronger connection.

 

When I was OLDing, I routinely dated 3 to 4 women at a time. Mainly because I really enjoy the company of a lady and like to do things like the theatre, art galleries, fine dining... The two times I went exclusive I called each of the other women and let them know I had met someone to whom I wanted give all my focus. They were all cool with it and some were very appreciative for me calling them and giving them the scoop. I guess a lot of guys just ghost.

 

If that happens, don't take it personally. Some of these women that I was dating were stellar. Truly amazing people. I just had found someone that I really clicked with and wanted to explore it to the fullest.

 

Also, as a word of advice... I probably went out on 50 first dates during my OLD career. I had a really great profile and can charm the chrome off a bumper (quote from one of my ex-GF's). About half turned into 2nd dates and beyond. So it is kind of a numbers game but when I met my soulmate, I was done with OLDing by the end of date #2.

 

Best of luck!

 

Mrin

[LookAtThisPOst]

One other thing to mention re: OLD dating since it sounds like you're new to it. If you run into a guy who seems great and isn't pushing for early sex but still waives you off/ghosts you after a handful of dates, don't always conclude that it is sex based. Multi-dating on OLD is rampant and he probably found someone else with whom he had a stronger connection.

 

When I was OLDing, I routinely dated 3 to 4 women at a time. Mainly because I really enjoy the company of a lady and like to do things like the theatre, art galleries, fine dining... The two times I went exclusive I called each of the other women and let them know I had met someone to whom I wanted give all my focus. They were all cool with it and some were very appreciative for me calling them and giving them the scoop. I guess a lot of guys just ghost.

 

If that happens, don't take it personally. Some of these women that I was dating were stellar. Truly amazing people. I just had found someone that I really clicked with and wanted to explore it to the fullest.

 

Also, as a word of advice... I probably went out on 50 first dates during my OLD career. I had a really great profile and can charm the chrome off a bumper (quote from one of my ex-GF's). About half turned into 2nd dates and beyond. So it is kind of a numbers game but when I met my soulmate, I was done with OLDing by the end of date #2.

 

Best of luck!

 

Mrin

 

 

BOLDED part, "career"? You get paid a salary?