shamen Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 So, if you really want to read the background, here's the link to the original voice mail dump thread... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t60211 In summary, he said in the voice mail that he didn't like me very much so we couldn't see each other anymore. Short lived romance, about a month and a half, two months or so. I wrote him a couple of emails after that: one saying why did you do this? and the other later email saying that I was sorry that his life was so empty that he's gotten so cold. Don't bother contacting me. Then, after 3 and a half months, I get an email from him out of the blue. Saying that it had nothing to do with me. Some personal thing that he was going through. That he bought me a present while traveling. What do you think? Should I ignore the email? Let my curiousity get the better of me and get my present and see what he has to say? Or just remind him of what he said to me in the voice mail and tell him that he was juvenile for what he did? To leave me alone. (This really isn't a second chances thread, as I don't plan on dating the guy again. Just wasn't sure where else to put it..) Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Ewww. Sounds freaky to me. I wouldn't trust it. What if it's one of those freaky sarcastic type gifts, like a bottle of Prozac? Don't be fooled. Unless he comes forth with some good lovin, he's made his decision. I don't know if I'd even call him back. He's weirding even me out! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by shamen So, if you really want to read the background, here's the link to the original voice mail dump thread... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t60211 In summary, he said in the voice mail that he didn't like me very much so we couldn't see each other anymore. Short lived romance, about a month and a half, two months or so. I wrote him a couple of emails after that: one saying why did you do this? and the other later email saying that I was sorry that his life was so empty that he's gotten so cold. Don't bother contacting me. Then, after 3 and a half months, I get an email from him out of the blue. Saying that it had nothing to do with me. Some personal thing that he was going through. That he bought me a present while traveling. What do you think? Should I ignore the email? Let my curiousity get the better of me and get my present and see what he has to say? Or just remind him of what he said to me in the voice mail and tell him that he was juvenile for what he did? To leave me alone. (This really isn't a second chances thread, as I don't plan on dating the guy again. Just wasn't sure where else to put it..) Hmm.. Well it could be a personal issue that he had going on, like uh.. he's an assclown! I know it wasn't you, you know it wasn't you.. I dunno Girl.. I don't think I would be all about giving this flake another opportunity... Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 What's his present? I'd give him a chance, but this time I'd be a lot more careful. First time you're romantic, second time you should still be nice, but also prepared to give the jerks a swift kick in the ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Tiki, I hadn't even thought of that!!! Good point! Merin and Loony, not planning on dating him again. I edited my post to reflect that thought as it wasn't clear orginally. Just trying to figure out my response to his email... Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Ok, then just take the present as compensation for the nasty dumping. (Just kidding. ) Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Originally posted by shamen Tiki, I hadn't even thought of that!!! Good point! I was afraid you hadn't. A gift to my ex would be something like this: I bought a gift for you while traveling abroad. It's a pocket vagina. You'll need it because you won't ever get another piece of pu$$y with that attitude of yours. See? See how it works? Depending on how nasty the breakup was. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 I think you should just ignore his message!!! Why isn't he man enough to call and tell you that he has a present for you? He seems like he is a loser that does not know how to TALK to you. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 The guy, based on what you've written, was terribly rude and out of line by how he broke up with you - not to mention what he told you at that time. What kind of freak tells someone they're dating "I gotta dump you, I don't like you very much." ??? So big deal, he's got a gift. Does he think you're such a doormat that the thought of a "gift" will just lure you back in? Don't take the bait. Nothing he could give you will make up for how badly he ended things. Don't let him think you're a pushover or desperate. Ignore the email. If you can't ignore it, write him back something along the lines of "That's great but I'm not interested in your gift - thanks." Link to post Share on other sites
katty Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Just give him an address to send the present and tell him you will accept this gift as an apology for his rude behavior and to please take any other money he may spend in the future on gifts for you and use it for a new personality for himself. Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I bought a gift for you while traveling abroad. It's a pocket vagina. You'll need it because you won't ever get another piece of pu$$y with that attitude of yours. Shamen, Do you really want a gift from him ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by loony Ok, then just take the present as compensation for the nasty dumping. (Just kidding. ) Originally posted by tiki A gift to my ex would be something like this: I bought a gift for you while traveling abroad. It's a pocket vagina. You'll need it because you won't ever get another piece of pu$$y with that attitude of yours. See? See how it works? Depending on how nasty the breakup was. Oh my god, Tiki! Too funny. It really wasn't a nasty breakup. I had no say in it. Just a voice mail dump. "I can't see you anymore because I don't like you very much." Um, yea. My second email was pretty biting though. Originally posted by ~Naive~ I think you should just ignore his message!!! Why isn't he man enough to call and tell you that he has a present for you? He seems like he is a loser that does not know how to TALK to you. That's a good point too, Naive. You're right. He didn't call. He wrote, which is always the safest bet. However, it wouldn't have given me time to think. Come to think of it, I'm glad he wrote rather than called. Wouldn't have had the time to think about my response. Originally posted by shygurl The guy, based on what you've written, was terribly rude and out of line by how he broke up with you - not to mention what he told you at that time. What kind of freak tells someone they're dating "I gotta dump you, I don't like you very much." ??? So big deal, he's got a gift. Does he think you're such a doormat that the thought of a "gift" will just lure you back in? Don't take the bait. Nothing he could give you will make up for how badly he ended things. Don't let him think you're a pushover or desperate. Ignore the email. If you can't ignore it, write him back something along the lines of "That's great but I'm not interested in your gift - thanks." Wow, shygurl. Hadn't thought of it that way either. Why does my curiousity always get the best of me? Good suggestions and points. Originally posted by katty Just give him an address to send the present and tell him you will accept this gift as an apology for his rude behavior and to please take any other money he may spend in the future on gifts for you and use it for a new personality for himself. Ouch. New personality! Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall Shamen, Do you really want a gift from him ? Hmmm... I guess what it is really is is that I'm curious about what he got me. Why is he even still thinking about me? And why in the world would he buy me a present? I haven't thought about this guy in months. I dated another guy for a while. That didn't work out because I'm just not ready as I still think about my long-term ex too much. But why in the world would the voice mail dump guy bother recontacting me after all of this time? I don't think that he could really feel all that bad about what he did to me in the voice mail, or he wouldn't have done it, so it's certainly not about guilt. Maybe it's just about him wanting to get laid, I don't know... It's just so bizarre that I'm CURIOUS. Horrible, I know. But, as Tiki has pointed out, it could be another mean spirited thing. I'm just freaked out. Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Why would he bother now? Because he is desperate! He no doubt got himself another woman lined up during your time together and thought, ooooh look at me, I am so popular! She then realised what a pethetic loser he was (probably because he was chasing every other ass whilst he was with her) and dumped him. For the past few months he has struggled to get any action at all and thinks, I Know, I will get in touch with that chick I dumped a few months ago. The guy is a sad, desperate pathetic individual and I wouldn't waste my time on the ****ing prick! So one lousy present will make things alright will it? Even if its a Porsche I would still tell the guy to **** off and I love Porsche's! PATHETIC LOSER!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Why would he bother now? Because he is desperate! He no doubt got himself another woman lined up during your time together and thought, ooooh look at me, I am so popular! She then realised what a pethetic loser he was (probably because he was chasing every other ass whilst he was with her) and dumped him. For the past few months he has struggled to get any action at all and thinks, I Know, I will get in touch with that chick I dumped a few months ago. The guy is a sad, desperate pathetic individual and I wouldn't waste my time on the ****ing prick! So one lousy present will make things alright will it? Even if its a Porsche I would still tell the guy to **** off and I love Porsche's! PATHETIC LOSER!!!!! Wow, Simon. Guess you read the old thread, eh? I feel your anger! That's pretty much how I felt back then. I'm not really mad anymore. I just feel kinda sorry for him, ya know? It's not that a present would make things alright, it's just that I can't help but be curious as to what it would be and to see what he would have to say. I know full well that it would be incredibly stupid to bother, as lots of people here have reminded me. As I've mentioned earlier, wouldn't date the guy again. I'm tempted to write him back explaining why it was silly for him to contact me. "You must have forgotten what you said to me: that you didn't like me very much. If you would have talked to me about what was going on, that would have been understandable." I'm torn between the high road (this option in this paragraph) and ignoring the email. You're probably right though, he just wants to get laid. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by shamen It's not that a present would make things alright, it's just that I can't help but be curious as to what it would be and to see what he would have to say. That's what he wants. Originally posted by shamen I'm tempted to write him back explaining why it was silly for him to contact me. "You must have forgotten what you said to me: that you didn't like me very much. If you would have talked to me about what was going on, that would have been understandable." I don't see anything wrong with this! Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 I remember an episode for Sex and the City where Kim Cattrals character had this bloke come back into her life, he had dumped her previously and she thought it would be a good idea to use him for a while then dump him and let him know how it felt. Thing is, he used her! then dumped her again before she got chance to dump him!!! I can see why you are interested in what the gift might be as I would be curious too I would also consider accepting it haha! But realistically we both know why he is doing it. Incidentally I do remember you original post and like I said PATHETIC! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Maybe it's an official copy of one of his movies he made while out on tour. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by tiki That's what he wants. I don't see anything wrong with this! Tiki, you are so right about that being what he wants! I'm feeling in my gut this curiousity because of the present thing. The email I received a few days ago didn't even contain an apology. Just, "It had nothing to do with you." Then some explanation of the personal matter and the present lure. And it was a lure that I have reacted to (not in RL yet, just here)... I'm going more and more with the high road email. Glad that it sounds OK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 19, 2005 Author Share Posted July 19, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk I remember an episode for Sex and the City where Kim Cattrals character had this bloke come back into her life, he had dumped her previously and she thought it would be a good idea to use him for a while then dump him and let him know how it felt. Thing is, he used her! then dumped her again before she got chance to dump him!!! I can see why you are interested in what the gift might be as I would be curious too I would also consider accepting it haha! But realistically we both know why he is doing it. Incidentally I do remember you original post and like I said PATHETIC! That's funny. I had a friend of mind suggest the same thing. See him again and dump him. Not considering this option, though. You would consider accepting it?! That would entail me having to see him though. I think that that might just turn into an ugly scene somehow. Originally posted by tiki Maybe it's an official copy of one of his movies he made while out on tour. OMG! You have a good memory. Theoretically he doesn't do that anymore. Who knows though? Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 i would just ignore him... it'll bother him i bet! and he probably got you a cheesy gift just to see you or contact you.. probably like a pebble necklace on a black string... ehh... leave it alone Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 Well, I decided to go with the high road email yesterday. Letting him know that what he did was rude and I reminded him of what he said. That I was sorry that something happened. I said too that he should have just told me what was going on. He wrote back saying, "Would you have preferred that I said... (something more truthful, personal issue, secretive guy)?" I wrote back, "Yes. I hope that things are better for you." Somehow I doubt that I'll be hearing from again. Guess I won't get my present. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by shamen secretive guy What's that mean? Is he gay? Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 He said something that explained the personal issue a little better, but then said, "I'm sorry that I can't tell you anymore," or something along those lines. That he could have said that. He was always a little secretive in general. I look back on our little time together and I think to myself, "Ya know, I didn't really even know this guy. But the sex was good." Oh, and he told me that it was a calculated move so that I would be pissed and move on. I said that it would have been better for him to just tell me the (half, didn't say this) truth without the cruelty. And about the gay thing, one of my friends is convinced that he is and that he just hasn't figured it out yet. Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Secretive Guy? Read: Doesn't Tell The Truth or Rather than tell the truth he would prefer to be nasty and say something like "I dont really like you" You deserve better Shamen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author shamen Posted July 20, 2005 Author Share Posted July 20, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk Secretive Guy? Read: Doesn't Tell The Truth or Rather than tell the truth he would prefer to be nasty and say something like "I dont really like you" You deserve better Shamen. Yeah, it all is a little strange. And it was mean. He didn't apologize for what he said in either email. Just that it was not about me. And that he didn't want me to worry. Psshh... Yeah, right. I know that I deserve better, simon. Thanks. I even tried dating a guy (we'll call him the rock star) after him for 3 months who was super sweet and really into me. I realized however, while I was with him (the rock star) three things: I can't date guys who are bigger (I like 'em skinny), good sex is really important in a relationship and I'm still hung up on my long term ex. So now, I'm back at square one. No dating. That's why it's even funnier that I got this email from the voice mail dump guy... he has impeccable timing. He always seems to know when I'm single. He returned to my life for the second time back in February when I had broken up with the long term ex for the second time. Oh, I cut the cords the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
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