Author kevinjinha Posted February 27, 2017 Author Share Posted February 27, 2017 If she treats you like you are a lunatic, I am going to assume she had a hard time getting you to go away when she broke up with you. If you respected her at all, you would leave her alone and not find any excuse to contact her. That's me over exaggerating. That's just how I felt Link to post Share on other sites
Author kevinjinha Posted February 27, 2017 Author Share Posted February 27, 2017 No man, don't do it. It's just an object, don't even bother with material things. You gave it to her, let her do with it whatever she wants. It's happened to me. My ex-wife sold the wedding ring to buy tickets for Thailand with the guy she left me for. It hurts, but who's decent here? You or her? The best thing that could happen to you is that she run away when she saw you. Don't even talk to her and devote the time you'd waste chasing or confronting her to improve and move on. She's not worthy of your time. It hurts, but stay far from those who are not good to you. You're right ! It should be the best thing because if we had approached each other it would have been very difficult for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Don't beat ureself up too much or blame ureself altho one on here seems to believe it's all ur fault it isn't. Maybe u argued wth her because she was showing a lack of gratitude for ur building her up? Remember u built her back up howith is there anything even close to that being a bad thing? Ur not at fault and be careful to blame ureself fully ok maybe own the part of always being right and learn from that but it's not ur fault people walk away sometimes for there own reasons watever that may be. A lot of the time there's another person there interested in and will use any excuse to break up why? Because in there mind it justifies the break up they truly convince themselves they did the right thing to not associate wth the guilt they feel. I beat myself up for yrs wth my ex wife and then one day learnt there's always been another guy not immediatly but she saw he cld probably offer her wat i cldnt at the time. So don't always think and blame ureself sometimes u can do everything right and they still walk. Definatly as others have mentioned tho let her go now don't hold onto something that wants to be let go it's like holding onto a cactus it hurts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Around 23 my girlfriend left me because I didn't want to get her pregnant. She was 22 and I was not even close to having a kid. At the time I was just starting my first 'real' job. It took me a couple of years to get her completely out of my mind and that was because after year 1 of our breakup she married a friend of mine. They are still together with kids and she obviously means nothing to me at this point. So at your age this is common. Just hang in there. If there is anything you feel you need to work on to make yourself a good future partner than start now. Good luck Oh man i can relate to this i was 24 she was 34 so the other way round in my case age was buthe ye she left cause if that the kid thing. 1st 2 weeks of dating she's asking to get pregnant some woman r real agenda driven it's got nothing to do about loving u it's a means to an end for Wm thank God I never did but she never was able to hav kids can't say I feel one iota sorry for her. She was a Filipino and wen she was 20 her grandma get this forced her to hav an abortion at 7 mths pregnant ripping her productive system to shreds making it very difficult for her to hav kids in the future. My ex wife was the same desperate to hav kids at 31 I wanted to but not right at that point because she had some large gambling debts that would o meant I would o had to work 3 jobs to support us. But anyway that as i learnt can be a big deal breaker that's a big thing values wise if one wants kids the other doesn't so I get it but not wth that 1st one tho lol how dumb n young we once we're not to recognise major red flags and I pined for yrs over her lol wat an idiot I was thinking it was love had nothing to do wth it Link to post Share on other sites
Maldives Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Should also be worth noting that under normal circumstances people do not just fall out of love and the fact she held it in for that long shows a deep level of disrespect for herself and for you. Relationships go through good and bad times, sometimes they go through a crisis and the reality is none of them are perfect. They take work and dedication from both parties to be successful. If she said she fell out of love with you a year earlier then it would have been a gradual thing. She chose not to address those feelings and carried on letting resentment fester. I am sorry again man for this pain you are feeling, but remember it was her decision to withhold her true feelings and as I said before, although you are both responsible ultimately the relationship as a whole, it only takes one side to stop being honest or communicating for it to fail. Remember, her decisions are not on you and this other person is not better than you. You are unique and one day you will come to the wonderful realisation that she has lost a wonderful unique human being from her life forever. I got the whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" BS when my ex ended it (I had to confront her to get the truth though) and the whole she only saw me as a friend etc. Funny, as soon as she had got all of her stuff out of the house, she pretty much ghosted me and proceeded to bad mouth/tell lies about me. Which if you knew her and our relationship was incredibly painful as she was such a sweet caring person. Guilt, fear and insecurity brings out the worst in people and I dont hate her, I just feel sorry for her. In fact I still think she is a good person deep down, she just chose to be a coward. So remember alot of what she is doing/has done is not a reflection on your worth, it's pretty much all about her own feelings or lack of maturity. Yes the ole 'I love u but I'm not in love wth u' translation -have my eye on somebody else. Unfortunately it is so common this the way people check out it gradually happens over time slowly while in the safety of a relationship yes cowards a good word that about sums it up. Yrs ago i learnt this is wat happens when an ex cheated wth my supposed good friend I was devastated and needed a yr or counseling to cope wth ghetto betrayal and learn wat happenned. The councillor demonstrated on a white board how this process works som even over yrs. My current ex red flags all over the place and I knew it deep down but because she was there present I never really gave it the attention it truly deserved just this feeling in the pit of my gut that I had to be careful wth her. I was right but I was also responsible for my part in the demise of the relationship I had too many trust issues from my past and found it very hard to trust. I never really processed this from the past especially the cheating and betrayal and that baggage carried over. Now I'm really taking time out i have built walls around my heart I hate it because all I ever wanted was to feel safe in a relationship. Anyway enough of my rambling thanks for sharing it's beautifully written 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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