Author bradt93 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 I just don't get why she wouldn't say hi to me especially when she saw me. She was my waitress for gosh sake. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I just don't get why she wouldn't say hi to me especially when she saw me. She was my waitress for gosh sake. She probably didn't recognize you or couldn't place you in her mind. She was busy with other things. It was important to you. But that doesn't mean it was important to her or would have been important to anyone else. Don't project your knowledge, thoughts and feelings onto other people. If you assign your thinking and feeling to her... well, then she is wondering why you didn't speak to her, right? Maybe she figures you hate her because you stiffed her. There are very plausible reasons that she didn't greet you personally. People have given you those reasons. I don't see any plausible reason that YOU didn't greet her personally. YOU recognized her and wanted to chat with her. And then you did something mean. Stop worrying about her. Look at yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I just don't get why she wouldn't say hi to me especially when she saw me. She was my waitress for gosh sake. And you recognized her, and didn't say hi, she was serving your table for gosh sakes. Do you see how this works both ways? And honestly, I bump into people from high school who seem to know me, but I have absolutely ZERO recollection of. I remember about 10 years after graduation my husband and I went to a resuarant. The server said "Hi RC" - and I gave him a puzzled look, not knowing how he knew my name. He said we shared Misses so and so's AP English class together (I couldn't remember the teachers name ethier). And I got this often when I moved back to my old home town. I was never shy, always pretty out going, had a big social circle in high school. I had loud colored hair one year - people remembered me - even if I didn't necessarily remember them. And if you were quiet and reserved? No way I would remember you unless we had many private conversations or something. My point is, you crushed on this girl, you remember her. After 15 years, unless you were good friends in middle school, I wouldn't expect her to recognize you at all. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 Maybe I should've taken the first step, but I'm probably out of luck now since I stiffed her out of a tip. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Well, she didn't talk to me and that made no sense since I didn't do anything personally to her. It hurt my feelings. I understand and sympathize that your disability makes it hard to sometimes understand the reasons other people do things. But assuming the worst and doing something mean to retaliate, is not being a nice guy. Like the last 2 people have said, just because you don't get out much and clearly remember this girl from many years ago, does not necessarily mean that she remembers you. I think the bottom line here is that you need to get out of your "room". So what if you don't drink and party, if you are past the age of 21 that isn't most people's main source of entertainment anyway. Find some hobbies, find some friends, become a more interesting person. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 I understand and sympathize that your disability makes it hard to sometimes understand the reasons other people do things. But assuming the worst and doing something mean to retaliate, is not being a nice guy. Like the last 2 people have said, just because you don't get out much and clearly remember this girl from many years ago, does not necessarily mean that she remembers you. I think the bottom line here is that you need to get out of your "room". So what if you don't drink and party, if you are past the age of 21 that isn't most people's main source of entertainment anyway. Find some hobbies, find some friends, become a more interesting person. socializing disorder and besides I don't really like people that much anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I don't really like people that much anyways. This ^^^ is your answer. I know several folk with your condition - it doesn't stop them because they know they have it. It makes them wish to learn and they do. I'm very proud of them all if I am honest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 This ^^^ is your answer. I know several folk with your condition - it doesn't stop them because they know they have it. It makes them wish to learn and they do. I'm very proud of them all if I am honest. Sometimes dying is something I wish would happen to me. Being lonely sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Sometimes dying is something I wish would happen to me. Being lonely sucks. You have to get out there and meet people, that is all I can say. I know you say you don't like people that much, but that is probably because you are looking at them from a distance. The guys that you are seeing as jerks are probably nice people. If you don't like being lonely, then don't choose it for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 Speaking of Brooke, I had a dream about her last night, she was working at a veterinary's office and she saw me and she called the police on me, have no idea why. I wonder if sometimes dreams are a sign? Maybe it's a sign to stay away from her. I don't stalk her or anything like that, that was just very odd. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Speaking of Brooke, I had a dream about her last night, she was working at a veterinary's office and she saw me and she called the police on me, have no idea why. I wonder if sometimes dreams are a sign? Maybe it's a sign to stay away from her. I don't stalk her or anything like that, that was just very odd. I don't know how to interpret dreams, but you've been talking about her on here and that has put her in your mind. But more importantly, if you spend more time talking to people in 2017 than you'll spend less time fixating on people who you knew 10+ years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 You all are right though, stop dwelling on the past and look forward to a bright future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Speaking of Brooke, I had a dream about her last night, she was working at a veterinary's office and she saw me and she called the police on me, have no idea why. I wonder if sometimes dreams are a sign? Maybe it's a sign to stay away from her. I don't stalk her or anything like that, that was just very odd. It's less likely that this was prophetic and more likely that it's based on your specific anxieties and assumptions. You are assuming Brooke recognized but deliberately did not speak to you, AND you are assuming she remembers your psychiatric history and is afraid of you/avoiding you because of it. Therefore you envision that she might actually call the police on you. The error here is that you can't assume those things at all, and even if she does/did remember you (you can't know whether she does...you didn't ask her) you can't assume she thinks you still have a mental health issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 It's less likely that this was prophetic and more likely that it's based on your specific anxieties and assumptions. You are assuming Brooke recognized but deliberately did not speak to you, AND you are assuming she remembers your psychiatric history and is afraid of you/avoiding you because of it. Therefore you envision that she might actually call the police on you. The error here is that you can't assume those things at all, and even if she does/did remember you (you can't know whether she does...you didn't ask her) you can't assume she thinks you still have a mental health issue. Well, if she does think I have a mental issue, at least I'm not a damn alcoholic. She has mugshots on the internet. I have no mugshots, I've never been arrested in my life, so I think I am better than her and I will tell her that to her face. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Well, if she does think I have a mental issue, at least I'm not a damn alcoholic. She has mugshots on the internet. I have no mugshots, I've never been arrested in my life, so I think I am better than her and I will tell her that to her face. How much time do you spend online stalking this girl? And if you deem her to be so inferior to you, why are you obsessing over her, and thinking about how you could ask her out? You need to move on... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Well, if she does think I have a mental issue, at least I'm not a damn alcoholic. She has mugshots on the internet. I have no mugshots, I've never been arrested in my life, so I think I am better than her and I will tell her that to her face. Don't do that. Why would you do that? It was a dream. She hasn't said a word to you in 15 years... Leave her alone 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 (edited) I think I am better than her and I will tell her that to her face. And you are calling other guys jerks? Take a good look in the mirror buddy, there's a massive jerk staring right back at you. Leave. Her. Alone. Edited January 13, 2017 by SoulCat 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 What are you all talking about? I haven't talked to her in years and don't accuse me of stalking when I haven't. leave her alone? I don't even talk to her. Hmm, maybe she drunk herself to death, I can only hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 In defence of all women who've gone out with jerks, we don't find this out until we've already started dating them. If we realize men are jerks in the beginning, we usually don't bother. If we sense it a little bit, it might not be that bad if it's possible the sex, passion or adventure with this guy might be more exciting and impacting than his jerkiness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 How much time do you spend online stalking this girl? And if you deem her to be so inferior to you, why are you obsessing over her, and thinking about how you could ask her out? You need to move on... By the way some of her friends told me about the mugshots and I just looked it up. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Oh okay, I apologize you made it sound like you gathered this information about her mugshots and alcoholism on your own, presumably through the internet. I didn't realize this was stuff people told you about her. But still it begs the question which you've ignored. You are very clear that you don't believe in drinking and that you think this woman is lesser than you. You don't think she's nice.... you have only seen her once in decades, she ignored you and you stiffed her. So why does the thought of asking HER of all of the 3 billion women on earth even come to you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Hmm, maybe she drunk herself to death, I can only hope. I want you to look back at this thread, and how you perceive yourself to be a nice guy. But then think about what specific qualities in a person truly deserve that generic category of nice. Things like caring, forgiving, generous, humble. Do those specific things actually apply to you? Specifically in your dealing with women that you are interested in? Because here you are wishing death on a girl for not having talked to you a couple of years ago, who you were just thinking about asking out... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 Oh okay, I apologize you made it sound like you gathered this information about her mugshots and alcoholism on your own, presumably through the internet. I didn't realize this was stuff people told you about her. But still it begs the question which you've ignored. You are very clear that you don't believe in drinking and that you think this woman is lesser than you. You don't think she's nice.... you have only seen her once in decades, she ignored you and you stiffed her. So why does the thought of asking HER of all of the 3 billion women on earth even come to you? All I'm saying is why not say hi to me? It would've been the polite thing to do. She clearly saw me. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 All I'm saying is why not say hi to me? It would've been the polite thing to do. She clearly saw me. And all I'm saying is you keep changing the subject back to this, and ignoring other stuff we say to you. She was was rude if she did recognize you, but it's not necessarily the case that she did, end of story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 Yes, I need to quit obsessing or it will drive me crazy. I should've taken the first step when I saw her, that's my fault. I need to introduce myself to women I recognize and stop being so jerkish in front of them. My problem is fear of rejection as I said before on this thread. I'm so scared of rejection, it doesn't feel good and I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it. I know a lot of guys in this world have been rejected before and girls, but I think it hurts my pride for some reason. I feel I'm intelligent, very cute and I feel women should always go for me, but I know that's not always the case, the sooner I realize that, the better I will be. Link to post Share on other sites
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