loveiswar101 Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Haven't posted for a while, here's a quick one and heads up to all those thinking NC. Well after a year of up's and down's with a woman I actually truely become very very fond of, I liked her and her kids alot. Over the year whenever bust up occurred one of us would start messaging. I'm not going to say I innocent at all on this...maybe the loneliness. It would always boil over, usually me being needy and wanting her to see her more, her feeding me the I miss you, yet never making an effort. Anyhow I was going great toward the end of December not seeing her for 6 weeks and very little contact at all. Then a week ago we start texting and she somehow indirectly asked me a round for a wine. Honestly I thought hard about it but went, great evening with her and girls. To which she drops in it would be great to see you more! Anyhow long story short, comes yesterday and few texts and boom, rips into me for giving her girls $5 for lollies, well in fact I gave it to one of the girls and said get you and your sisters some lollies. Its not like we have just met and Im a fruit loop, for god sake I put the girls to bed that night. She claims by not telling her I am teaching her girls to keep secrets. Would I like my kids (I have kids too) to keep secrets from me she says. It was just a spur of moment thing and just $5 for lollies and well I lost it told her I have jumped through hoops all year to try put smile on her and her girls faces and never feel its enough. After a year now I just can't be bothered trying to please her anymore and that her effort towards me is close to zero and that she needs to take a walk. I really like her but enough is enough. Morale is and trust me, when your going well and slowly moving on. Don't and I mean don't open the oven door..your get burn't. If you really want to move on NO Contact is the go. Wish I said no! To say I'm wounded again would be an understatement. Thanks for reading. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveiswar101 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Quick update...Few days have passed and you know what I have thought about her and her girls often. What comes with that are mixed emotions of missing her and her girls but also the fact that looking back reminds me of all the effort I put in with no return.. It's these emotions of being not used but more importantly not respected and appreciated that will keep me moving forward with NC. Someone will appreciate my love, honesty and caring nature one day and hopefully vice versa, this is the day I look forward too! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Offspring Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I hear you. I am going through a similiar thing. The priority I am keeps changing in this person's life.. I am sick of it. I am going no-contact as of now. If she wants me, she'll have to make a really big effort. How do you feel about cutting her off? Do you think it's the right thing to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveiswar101 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 (edited) I hear you but before go nuts, just take a step back and think what you want! My pain has being going on for close to a year lol. Just putting in, putting and putting in more. i'm not saying she's done nothing but there seems always to be an excuse. And with this I've finally come to understand it doesn't matter what I do she's just not as into me now as I am into her. With this it's damn hard and I mean damn hard. I know I want her but the pain the keeps repeating ever time we make contact or catch up. I know I can't go on, so I have to walk and did I say it's hard. But if she's not going to make the effort Im have no choice as it's not what I'm looking for. I want something and she not giving. So back to you my friend. What do you want? NC as many say is not to get her back...it for you. If you like her and you can always just remove your presence and if she is at all really interested she will make more effort. What you need to do is walk away and find more options, if she comes chasing...so what. Just don't make yourself available all the time. But then again don't tell her what you want either...Your busy and if she wants any part of you she will make an effort....if she doesn't your moving forward anyhow and no big loss. Hope make's sense. But the big question is what do you want? If you decide she's not for you NC is the go and move on straight away and stand firm! There's no right or wrong I believe, you decide what you want and make your choice. That choice is what matters at this moment and not what she does. I always fall back on "why try keep someone in your life, if there not trying to keep you in theirs". Edited January 11, 2017 by loveiswar101 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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