My situation.. So heartbroken

[NinaBears]

Alright. Here goes nothing. Signed up for this forum because I need a healthy environment to tell my story instead of giving into sadness and fears.

 

I was with my boyfriend for almost two years. He broke it off, sort of, just two weeks before. We were best friends, we saw each other daily, and we shared an incredible connection together.

But we had problems as well. A lot of problems were because I suffered from anxiety due to an abusive childhood, and his inability to say no or give boundaries (which I always gave him opportunities do to so, for example asking him if he was ok with decisions, saying it doesn't matter if he says no etc).

 

Anyway. When he broke it off, we got back together the following week. He told me we would make it work somehow and that it would all be okay. Three days after, he became extremely distant and cold towards me. He told me he wasn't sure anymore.

 

I begged him to not break it off entirely but to keep viewing it as a "break". He said "it's nothing, I don't know what it is right now."

 

I saw him a month after that. In the meantime I moved into the house we were suppose to move in together, had exams and in general a lot of things to deal with. We had sex and everything was better, until the morning. He was very distant and cold again, when I cried and told him I loved him he told me "I'll never see or speak to you ever again.". A few moments after he regretted saying that. When we were driving home, he suddenly became jealous, asking me if I get attention from other guys, that they were better looking etc.

 

I reassured him that he was the only one I had eyes for. I texted him thanks for meeting up and that he was such a nice guy etc. He responded by saying that he wasn't nice at all.

 

Anyway, a few days after I met him again, this time at the house. We had sex again. I didn't cry, didn't beg or showed him how heartbroken I was. I did tell him I wanted to give us another chance. He responded by saying he would always be attracted to me, would always care for me, but that he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing by giving me a chance. I told him he was. I have been working really hard on myself.

 

On new year's eve I texted him happy new year.. he replied an hour later saying "sorry I was drunk, happy new year, hope you have a nice evening!" I replied him around 3 saying "haha ok thanks" He replied around 6 saying "youre welcome"..

 

Since new years eve we have had contact daily, we both have exams coming up so it's mostly just casual talk.. but yesterday I send him a text that was a bit sexual. He replied strangely.. by saying "sorry, for making you feel that way. I thought maybe you didn't like that. Sorry again. I didn;t mean to imply anything."

 

I replied saying we would just see how things are working out between us and that he shouldn't worry that much about it..

 

Texted with him again today, he was a bit cold.. but then again he is studying for exams..

 

Anyways I really, truly love him madly, deeply. I don't want to ruin anything by texting I miss him etc. My plan is to just keep it casual and fun, and then meet up when exams are over, which is the end of this month, cook some dinner for him and just show him how I've improved and worked hard on myself..

 

I'm worried I'm going to screw it all up by pushing him or texting him how sad I am etc.. I know I shouldn't and give him the space this month, and just keep texting fun and upbeat.

 

Do I still have a chance... ?

[umirano]

No, I think you should go No Contact. He made it clear he doesn't want you that way. You do, as the dumpee not surprisingly so, and there's no other solution than No Contact.

 

I don't believe you can change that much in a month, and likely he doesn't either. I'd be surprised if he took you up on that offer.

[Mr Scorpio]

He sounds way too off-and-on. Too hot-and-cold. I would initiate NC immediately and begin your healing.

[Purepony]

Sounds to me like theirs someone else in the picture because he keeps changing moods

Just drop this loser apparently he can't decide if he's coming or going

 

Leave now before you waste more time with this insensitive good for nothing

[Logo]

You deserve better. He's breaking your heart over and over by toying with your emotions like that.

 

 

Block him. Initiate full no contact. Remove pictures from your phone or computer. Put them on a memory stick if you want to.

 

Now is the time for you to be extremely selfish and care ONLY about yourself. And I agree with other posters who wrote that there might be someone else in the picture.

 

Leave for good before you find out more and end up hurting more.

 

Do it for your own mental health. Don't be wishy washy about it.

 

 

Yes. It's over and it hurts. You're going to feel angry. You're going to be in denial. But it's happening and there is no turning back.

 

Take your time to grieve and surround yourself with friends and family who love you.

Edited January 9, 2017 by Logo

[StrangerThanFiction]

I'm sorry for the pain you're feeling but it sounds like he's not into the relationship anymore. He's said it straight out on multiple occasions and you texting him about your sadness, feelings for him, and trying to get back into a relationship with him when he apparently doesn't want the same is no doubt just pushing him further away. He doesn't want to deal with it. Cut contact off immediately.

 

Don't sleep with him again because you deserve a lot better than being his booty call. If you keep contacting him you will always feel weak, powerless, desperate, and anxious and it will only get worse as he shows less and less interest. You're making yourself way too available to him and that will certainly lessen your value in his eyes. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you? I understand that you love him, but if the feeling isn't returned then there's nothing to gain by hanging onto what you had because it no longer exists. Even if you did get back together I can pretty much guarantee you that it wouldn't last long and you would only end up drawing out the pain that you're feeling right now. Wouldn't it be better to make a clean break now, with your dignity intact, then continue chasing someone who doesn't want to be chased?

 

So, like I said, cut contact completely. Continue working on yourself. You're going to be okay and you WILL find somebody who's worth your love and energy.