Looking for OW's response

[cloche]

It's not a game...it's guilt & sadness. She wants to be with, loves him but it's torture bc she can't be with him.

 

Can't or Won't?

 

It's not as easy as "if an AP wants to be with their AP, they would be" or the "if a WS was so miserable they would have already divorced regardless of an A or not"...when people have kids & finances together, over years. Love doesn't pay the bills & how "some" BS behave when it comes to the kids & or culture & religion purposes...there's no black or white.

 

I respectfully disagree.

 

As I see it, if a WS truly loves their single AP, they have a responsibility to either:

 

1) get serious about leaving the marriage

 

or

 

B) end the affair

 

It really is that simple.

 

I'm *not* saying that choosing between these two alternatives is easy; just that the choice to be made is, in fact, quite simple, and that dithering around month after month, year after year, in the hope that some third alternative will somehow magically present itself, or that someone else will finally act for them is, well, ... tantamount to cake eating.

[Poppy47]

Can't or Won't?

 

 

 

I respectfully disagree.

 

As I see it, if a WS truly loves their single AP, they have a responsibility to either:

 

1) get serious about leaving the marriage

 

or

 

B) end the affair

 

It really is that simple.

 

I'm *not* saying that choosing between these two alternatives is easy; just that the choice to be made is, in fact, quite simple, and that dithering around month after month, year after year, in the hope that some third alternative will somehow magically present itself, or that someone else will finally act for them is, well, ... tantamount to cake eating.

 

Of course if it unequivocally cake eating.

 

Why give up either the affair or the marriage if nobody is forcing you to make that choice.

 

Poppy.

[Whoknew30]

Can't or Won't?

 

 

 

I respectfully disagree.

 

As I see it, if a WS truly loves their single AP, they have a responsibility to either:

 

1) get serious about leaving the marriage

 

or

 

B) end the affair

 

It really is that simple.

 

I'm *not* saying that choosing between these two alternatives is easy; just that the choice to be made is, in fact, quite simple, and that dithering around month after month, year after year, in the hope that some third alternative will somehow magically present itself, or that someone else will finally act for them is, well, ... tantamount to cake eating.

 

In a A, no one has responsibility to anyone but WS to their BS & that's the truth. Wether it's to leave, stay, end A. The AP holds their own responsibility for falling for a married person & even if the WS leaves for them, the responsibility is to deal with the BS...that's why A are unfair & problematic, neither WA or APnowe each other anything.

 

Also, people don't just "fall" in love quickly. If really thinking about leaving for the AP, the reason it takes years is bc WS need to see if the AP worth going through the leaving process for them & or to continue in their marriage. No one can expect that a WS is going to just jump up & leave as soon they've slept together.

[Backornot]

this broad is full of MOW/ow how many has never contacted the MM/OM? This isn't a woman in love, this isn't a woman sitting around crying, I believe it's more likely she has other OM.

 

Very insightful. I know she at least flirted with others, looking for other options to exit her marriage, while still carrying on with me. I just didn't feel I had the right to be possessive, considering that I was not offering an exit for her.