New_Wife Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 I don't know how to tell my mom to knock it off so that she'll hear me. She's going through her 5th divorce. (yes FIVE). Like the last 3 (I was 1 on the first one), she's been flooding me with details I really don't want to hear. I'm in my 30's now, btw. I don't want to know what her sex life was like with her ex. I don't want to know every last gory detail of every single fight, the financial situation, how much she hates my step-sisters, why he is such a this or a that, how the divorce is going, that she wants to get laid on his bed before she gives it back, that she's dating her tenant, that she's putting open condoms in his car that he hasn't picked up to mess with his head, that she pulled a bunch of money out of his account, etc. She's told me that if I talk to my step-sister while the divorce is pending, I can just forget about being her daughter. I told her that I didn't agree with that, that I did not ask to have this person brought into my life - she did that - but I came to love her anyway, and I am not divorcing anyone - she is. Well, that turned into a big huge drama event, and I ended up just agreeing to wait until the divorce was final to shut her up. This is not the first sibling I'll probably have to just lose as a result of her serial divorcing. She calls me 3-5 times a day at work, to fill me in on the details and share her pain. When I tell her I don't really want to hear all of this, she accuses me of "not supporting her through this horrible time" and get's all wonky. When I don't answer, she just keeps calling. When I try to explain that I'm at work and busy, she says "okay, just one last thing...." I feel like I want to drop a lamp on her head (not literally - well mostly not literally) just to get her to pipe down. I've tried very clearly stating that the sex-talk, especially is uncomfortable and unwelcome to me, but I might as well be arguing with a stop sign. What to do? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 What to do? offer to introduce her to a nice counsellor she can share this information with because you're just not interested into getting sucked into the drama she's creating. Even if she IS your mom. I think it's a horrible thing that she's telling you to pick and chose between you and a beloved sibling, even if the relationship is one that was forged by your respective parents' marriage. What you do on your own time is none of her business and if she has a problem with it, so be it. That you'll still love her, but she has no say in what you do when it comes to relationships with family. Just call her bluff .... Link to post Share on other sites
Author New_Wife Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Thanks. She is going to counseling, for what it's worth. I think she just has very selective hearing. Link to post Share on other sites
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