Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Last night I had a first date with a guy from online/app. We met at a bar and when I walked in he hugged me and we had great convo. Lots of talking, laughter, banter, some self deprecating humor on his part haha etc. No BS about the weather or anything like that. Had two drinks each and some appetizers. The date lasted for 4 hours. As we walked out of the bar he conplimented my coat and we walked toward my bus stop. He hugged me goodbye and asked something about next week but no specific plans and NO text after the date last night. It's currently really early morning. What does this mean? Will I not hear from him again Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Did you text or call him to thank him for the date yet? He has already expressed interest in seeing you again so the ball is in your court even if you at the time reciprocated with a positive. It should be a game of bat and ball this early on - you need to pick the ball up or the game is likely over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Send him a text Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 People have many dates and sleep with you and never text back... so yeah... complimenting a coat definitely is no sign for anything at this point. Wait it out... give it a couple of days. If nothing then shoot a casual text thanking him for a lovely time. If he just does small talk in response and doesn't ask you out again then you can close the chapter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 Did you text or call him to thank him for the date yet? He has already expressed interest in seeing you again so the ball is in your court even if you at the time reciprocated with a positive. It should be a game of bat and ball this early on - you need to pick the ball up or the game is likely over. But usually guys have always texted me at least like "let me know when you get home etc" Is it also possible that he changed his mind after the date or that he was asking me if I was free next week/also spending a long date just out of courtesy or as a gesture..? Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Wait it out... give it a couple of days. Bad advice. Just send him a text and go from there 7 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 But usually guys have always texted me at least like "let me know when you get home etc" Is it also possible that he changed his mind after the date or that he was asking me if I was free next week/also spending a long date just out of courtesy or as a gesture..? That didn't happen this time, he expressed interest in seeing you again instead. People don't generally do that unless they mean it. He could be losing interest now though as he hasn't had a text from you. If you like him, just text him. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I agree with the others. If you like him and had a good time, you send him a text saying "thanks for the evening, would love to do it again sometime," and let him take it from there. Men are myriad. They don't share a hive mind or all work off the same script. The fact that this guy isn't all up in your steeze after what, six hours, is a good sign, it means he has boundaries. On the other hand, maybe you all won't have a second date, but what's wrong with that? You have no way of knowing that right now, though, only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 Okay. So Ive never actually/dont remember ever being the first to send a text post date but if I just send, thanks for the drinks and for a good time would that come off as overeager or aggressive? Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Okay. So Ive never actually/dont remember ever being the first to send a text post date but if I just send, thanks for the drinks and for a good time would that come off as overeager or aggressive? It's neither. Ask when he was thinking of for your next date so you can put something in your diary. Leave a question there that he can respond to. It'll just sound like you are interested. If you are interested then that's what you should convey. He isn't a mind reader so you need to show interest too. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I always send a text post date telling the guy that I had a great time, thanks for a great night. It's just the polite thing to do. He can then respond by asking you out again... Really, you hit the ball to him and he hits it back to you... That's how this works. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 So he speaks! I said thank uou for a great time etc. And replied within 5 mins, "my pleasure, I had a great time. We should do it again sometime next week. *(And then made a cute reference to an inside joke from the date*);)" How should i respond?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 So he speaks! I said thank uou for a great time etc. And replied within 5 mins, "my pleasure, I had a great time. We should do it again sometime next week. *(And then made a cute reference to an inside joke from the date*);)" How should i respond?? "I would love that :)" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IfonlyIknew Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 I've always liked when the guy texted first as like it's some new modern unspoken courting process! He probably thought since he put it out there in person, that it was your turn to reciprocate by giving him something, anything back. Glad to see it's moving forward Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 So he speaks! I said thank uou for a great time etc. And replied within 5 mins, "my pleasure, I had a great time. We should do it again sometime next week. *(And then made a cute reference to an inside joke from the date*);)" How should i respond?? See, it works! Guys like to know that you are interested and that you appreciate spending time with them... Reply and flirt back if you can... Something about the inside joke. And tell him that you are really looking forward to seeing him again next week. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 Should I say That would be great:) or also ask, when are you free? Or say im free tuesday or wednesday etc.. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 (edited) Keep it short and sweet. Don't text too many times or send long texts. And, don't wait too long to text back... It's a bit of a game... Play with him. It's fun! If you are comfortable, I might tell him "I look forward to seeing you again next week. Tuesday and Wednesday work best for me." Then, you are not asking him, but you are clearly giving him the go ahead to ask you... Eventually, you can throw out some ideas... But for now, let him take the lead. Just be casual and fun. I'm glad he responded. He sounds interested... Edited December 30, 2016 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 Thaaaanks everyone!! Totally appreciate it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Okay. So Ive never actually/dont remember ever being the first to send a text post date but if I just send, thanks for the drinks and for a good time would that come off as overeager or aggressive? Sending A text does not come off as overeager or aggressive!!! Sending 10 texts would. It's common courtesy to thank a man you enjoyed spending time with a "thank you" text in order to at least give him a little green light that you're interested. He made the first move so you can and should reciprocate a little otherwise how's he gonna feel "safe" enough to contact you again if he wants to. You be receptive and reciprocal for the first few dates, and if things are progressing well enough, then you can start doing some initiating. Keep things balanced. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 30, 2016 Share Posted December 30, 2016 Whoop! Flirt back and tell him you are free those two nights. Two nights free is good, more than that is too available. See!!?? Being proactive works - just keep it cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 30, 2016 Author Share Posted December 30, 2016 Okay so I said Looking forward to it as well! *flirty joke back about something we talked about* And he hasnt said anything yet. You think he will follow thru after this weekend to check on when we're both free? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted December 31, 2016 Author Share Posted December 31, 2016 Thoughts...? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 31, 2016 Share Posted December 31, 2016 I probably would've thrown out a day I was free, but what you said was fine. I have to ask, OP, are you always so anxious after a first date? Y'all just met—don't worry so much about how long it's been since he's replied, etc. After a first date, I think anyone should feel aloof about it enough that if they never hear from the other person again, it won't be the end of the world. And it isn't. Sure, it's maybe a little disappointing that he hasn't gotten back to you yet, but keep everything in perspective—you've been on one date and you've both signaled interest for another. That's great. He doesn't have to be all up in your business yet, y'all can take it slow. Are you used to guys texting you all the time? Because I much prefer how this guy is going about things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted January 2, 2017 Author Share Posted January 2, 2017 Hey all, Just as an update, after I said "next wk sounds good" i didnt hear back from him but he wished me happy new year out of the blue. We've been texting since and will go out again this week:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Red2016 Posted January 4, 2017 Author Share Posted January 4, 2017 So far I've been on two dates with a guy. He seems to like me and gives hints/body language etc. Unlike the first date, on the second (movies), he followed up right after to say that he had a great time etc. I replied back of course. (Also, before parting ways on the 2nd, kissed me lightly and casually suggested, we'll do this again right?) That was Monday night. Tuesday: Nothing from him! Wednesday/today: I'm not sure if I should text him today (I also texted him first on Monday), although it's been more like 50%, given that we've only known each other for a week. He has a busy job with long hours so it could be that... but if I texted him first this afternoon, would that make him less interested or etc? Link to post Share on other sites
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