upsetnhurt Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 A close friend of mine has been dating a guy for four years now and was at the point that she and her bf were considering future steps together. She was a bit down the other day and upon me asking why she mentioned that she just found out in a casual conversation with her bf's family that her bf had been previously married and divorced. She has been stunned to think that in four years that topic never was brought up by him. I am not sure what type of advice I can give her as I am not sure what to think of it too.........would one think that if he holds this type of information back that there is lots more that is held back.......or does he not have an obligation to bring this up as it should have no effect on them? Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 wow -well I guess it depends on a lot. Was it when he was young and it was short and a mistake? Or was it a long term marriage? Do you know?I would flat out ask him"Have you ever been married". She knows the answer....wait to see his response. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 Me personally- I'd be pretty upset he didn't say anything...but like Beth says...ask him directly, and then ask (assuming he tells the truth)- why didn't you tell me? Be interesting to hear his answer Link to post Share on other sites
Author upsetnhurt Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 That was my response to her....to ask him directly which she responded that she did. His answer was that he in fact had been married about ten years prior to a woman for a year and a half and that it ended in divorce. He would not go into specifics only to tell her that one day they simply both woke up and looked at eachother and simply knew that they were not in love with each other and chose to divorce. His reasons for not telling her over the four years what ones out of fear that she would leave him if she in fact found out. Kind of made me think that there is lots more that he might hide for the same fear........yet it is not my place to tell her that. It is her decision. Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 funny the guy I dated hid the fact that his son existed for fear I would leave too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author upsetnhurt Posted July 18, 2005 Author Share Posted July 18, 2005 Is this the guy you are pining away for Beth? It did not concern you that he hid this from you? Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 well.....he hid it for a day, but still, he hid it. I asked if he had kids the day we met and he said no and the 2nd date he told me. he claimed that I would not give him the time of day if he told me that night. And yes the same jerk....red flag looking back! Link to post Share on other sites
smile95 Posted July 18, 2005 Share Posted July 18, 2005 not to mention the child was 7 days old. Link to post Share on other sites
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