My thoughts on second chances

[benpom]

I ask myself these questions when I attempt to reconcile.

1. What makes him want to be with me?

2. Will he feel happy when he is with me? or will he be miserable?

3. Do I really understand him the way he wants to be understood?

4. Do I inspire him to want to become a better person?

5. Will I be happy with him?

6. Is he a fundamentally good person with flaws, or a bad person with some good traits?

 

Since many people here are looking for ways to get ex back, I want to share these questions I have been thinking about. I think figuring out the answers to these questions will help your situation too.

Edited January 6, 2017 by benpom

[Simple Logic]

I ask myself these questions when I attempt to reconcile.

1. What makes him want to be with me?

2. Will he feel happy when he is with me? or will he be miserable?

3. Do I really understand him the way he wants to be understood?

4. Do I inspire him to want to become a better person?

5. Will I be happy with him?

6. Is he a fundamentally good person with flaws, or a bad person with some good traits?

 

Since many people here are looking for ways to get ex back, I want to share these questions I have been thinking about. I think figuring out the answers to these questions will help your situation too.

 

How about one simple question, Does he make me feel respected and loved? If the answer is no, it is time to bail.

[basil67]

My suggestion is way more simple: What went wrong and can it be fixed so that it doesn't happen again?

 

On a couple of points:

 

4. I particularly don't like the idea about me inspiring them to be a better person. I want a partner who wants to be the best he can be without needing me to inspire him. Self sufficiency is a good thing.

 

6. Regarding being a fundamentally good person with flaws: A person may be a terrific person, but totally unsuitable for us. Whether they are good or bad at heart doesn't really make much difference. And I believe that truly bad people are thankfully rare anyway.

Edited January 6, 2017 by basil67

[DarrenB]

1) and 5) are the only relevant ones in my opinion.

[MeadowFlower]

I don't have to worry about any questions... He doesn't like me anyway, and isn't coming back probably.

[jorgeg3d]

How about one simple question, Does he make me feel respected and loved? If the answer is no, it is time to bail.

 

This is great too, and so is love. Do you love the person? If not? then there's your answer.

[Sweetfish]

I ask myself these questions when I attempt to reconcile.

1. What makes him want to be with me?

2. Will he feel happy when he is with me? or will he be miserable?

3. Do I really understand him the way he wants to be understood?

4. Do I inspire him to want to become a better person?

5. Will I be happy with him?

6. Is he a fundamentally good person with flaws, or a bad person with some good traits?

 

Since many people here are looking for ways to get ex back, I want to share these questions I have been thinking about. I think figuring out the answers to these questions will help your situation too.

 

 

1. Men and women think differently and have different roles. When you ask question #1 what your really saying is I am not happy with my self.

 

2. Pretty much the same as #1

 

3. Women and men are not fundamentally the same that's why open communication is important because a women needs are different than a mans needs.

 

4. This is an interesting question... do you see him improving without your presences?

 

5. Is this why you divorce? You thought you would be happy without him and ultimately found out the happiness is within.

 

6. Does he protect you and your children? Does he pay the bills? Does he respect you? Is he abusive? Only you know the answer.