waterwoman Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Do you think you might be suffering from post-natal depression? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 You have a baby. That is a blessing and something you should rejoice over. Instead you obsess over this married loser and have suicidal thoughts because of how he treats you. That is so sad and your baby deserves better. Why are you not taking joy in your child? Your child is pure and innocent and worthy of all of your love and attention. Your MM is not worthy of anything yet it seems emotionally you make more room for your misery over him rather than happiness over your baby. Of course you should cut the MM out of your life and stop all contact with him. Why haven't you done that already? Cut him out and if you are still miserable and suicidal get counselling. It isn't all about you anymore, your baby's well being counts too and should be the number one priority. Babies and children sense sadness and anger even if all of their physical needs are being met. I second this post. It is time to get over the MMs betrayal and concentrate on the beautiful little blessing you have. Men are a dime a dozen but that baby will love you for the rest of their life. Put that energy towards the baby. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Origin Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Dam....He did you super dirty. I'm sorry you had to go thru that. Your child is a blessing in disguise. I'm not sure what he will do going forward but you should just worry about you and the baby. You're a strong woman, that's a major **** he did to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Origin Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Ohh and you should totally tell his wife. She deserves to know what pos he is. Maybe he did something like this before he met you or he's doing other dirty stuff behind her back right now. She deserves to know. If you were in her place.... Would you wanna know?? That's some major thing you're trying to hide. It's not fair to his wife, you should let her know. It might even be therapeutic for you and help you heal. He will always be in your life from now on, on some level, whether he hates you or loves you but he's gonna be there. Accept and embrace it....And again. I think the wife deserves to know, that's a major thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tiana09 Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 Thank you all for your advice it really makes me strong and hopeful when I talk about it on here. No it's not post patum depression as I've been this depressed since I found out about him on Facebook, having to cancel my wedding plans,giving away the dress to charity and the whole ordeal I went through. I am searching for a good attorney now and I have decided to go ahead and file for child support. He never signed the birth certificate so I figure they will have to order a DNA test first which is ok. He had asked me to give my baby his last name which I did. Well,his wife did find out from one of my friends about his affair but she forgave him and decided to work on their marriage and I never really bothered after that. What she doesn't know though is the fact that there is a child involved as my exfiancee has kept it a secret. I do love my son and despite my pain I will fight for him ..that means I will fight to be ok for him and let go of everything that's happened in the last 7 years.I am glad I can talk about it on this forum. Thank you all for being the support I need right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Origin Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Thank you all for your advice it really makes me strong and hopeful when I talk about it on here. No it's not post patum depression as I've been this depressed since I found out about him on Facebook, having to cancel my wedding plans,giving away the dress to charity and the whole ordeal I went through. I am searching for a good attorney now and I have decided to go ahead and file for child support. He never signed the birth certificate so I figure they will have to order a DNA test first which is ok. He had asked me to give my baby his last name which I did. Well,his wife did find out from one of my friends about his affair but she forgave him and decided to work on their marriage and I never really bothered after that. What she doesn't know though is the fact that there is a child involved as my exfiancee has kept it a secret. I do love my son and despite my pain I will fight for him ..that means I will fight to be ok for him and let go of everything that's happened in the last 7 years.I am glad I can talk about it on this forum. Thank you all for being the support I need right now. Hi, yes i understood that the first time, i meant the wife deserves to know there is a child. Stay strong, my heart absolutely breaks for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tiana09 Posted July 6, 2017 Author Share Posted July 6, 2017 Yes origin I also wish the wife found out about the baby so we'd all be free from his lies. Maybe then he would be able to be a father to my son as well and a husband to her if she forgives him.I don't know how she will find out though as he will never tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
ItStartsFromWithin Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Yes origin I also wish the wife found out about the baby so we'd all be free from his lies. Maybe then he would be able to be a father to my son as well and a husband to her if she forgives him.I don't know how she will find out though as he will never tell her. Hey Tiana, how have you been holding up? Hope you and your child are doing well. Have you been able to contact an attorney yet? Keeping you in my prayers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tiana09 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 Hi Itstartsfromwithin,thank you for remembering me and keeping me in your prayers. I'm trying to keep strong though I go through phases of deep depression. I did contact an attorney and he said we should file for child support but I had to leave the country on emergency and took my baby with me. So that has to wait till end of the year when I get back. At the moment I had to take a job and hire a nanny for my son as I couldn't afford bills and baby stuff anymore and i have no help at all. I'm really struggling. All the advice here has been great and I cut off all contact with ExMM and for that he refused to help with money at all. I continue to be hopeful for me and my son and that one day I will get through this pain because it still hurts alot.I sometimes feels sad and depressed, emotional and suicidal but I'm fighting hard for my son and I will make it. I am all he has. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tiana09 Posted August 9, 2017 Author Share Posted August 9, 2017 I am trying hard and though it's been hard I've managed to go no contact and it feels great! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 There should be a special sort of punishment for guys ( and women) who do what he did to you. I expect there's more than a few users on here who would like to have a few minutes alone with this guy to knock some sense into him:mad: I know it may be a painful conversation,but your child needs to know about their genetic heritage. I was adopted myself, and know nothing. I can tell you that can be a real problem, especially when it comes to medical issues. If the guy continues to pester you, tell his wife. She deserves to know the truth about her life ( better she find out now than later) and you deserve some peace in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 I initially posted my story on here about unknowingly being engaged to a married man and dating him for 6 years. I did get blessed with a healthy baby but almost a year and a half from my original posting I'm still so depressed about everything that happened. The man reached out after my baby was born and offered to help with child support but he doesn't send money regularly. He has also kept the child a secret from his wife and family and at this moment I'm really considering an attorney for child support.How do I get past this?how do I heal? Do go after him for child support . You are neither stupid /naive for what happened he misrepresented himself .and you fell in love . But you dont need to be weak anymore go after him for child support .you don't need to touch the money if you don't want .it can sit safetly for child till he is legal age And please do tell his wife .not because you want revenge or want him to suffer . Tell her so that no other woman will be made to go through what you did . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tiana09 Posted August 27, 2017 Author Share Posted August 27, 2017 My pain is getting better by the day as I raise my sweet son. I will sue him for child support first chance I get but I have to bear with it right now as I'm out of the country for some work. I have kept NC with ex Fiancee MM for the longest time and yes it's peaceful. I don't want to contact the wife though I'm very sure she doesn't know about the baby. The first time my friend found out about the affair and contacted her through Facebook she changed her profile picture to her and her husband and expressed her love for him.Thats why I'm not bothered to inform her about the baby.She might not care that her husband would do that.ill just let her find out when I file for support and if not ,I guess that's her and her husband's business. Mine is to love and protect this little precious baby. I want him to know where he comes from,to know his father's people but I don't think that man is man enough to be a father to him. I doubt he will ever acknowledge or be a real dad to him.Thats something I will always apologise to my son for because if I had been more vigilant and checked him out ,my son would have a father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tiana09 Posted September 2, 2017 Author Share Posted September 2, 2017 Feeling much better and more confident. I still have times that I go into depression but those are so far apart and less everyday. My son is my happiness and I can't believe how strong and happy he makes me. I'm so grateful I found this forum and reading other people's experiences made me realize I am not alone. Everytime I feel like breaking and negative,I come on here and it revitalizes me...gives me the strength I need.Thank you loveshack. I'm slowly getting me back and I love it! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Captivating Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Tiana, What he did is a reflection on him, he is not a man....I don't know what he is. You do not want someone like that around anyways, he proved himself not worthy of your love. He is a liar. Cut contact with him, do not let him reach you either, not on the phone, not on e-mail, not on facebook. People like that never change. Do not worry about him at all! Love the baby though, that sweet cute little baby is all yours. Be the best loving MOM that you can be ! I wish you the best Tiana! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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