No_Go Posted September 13, 2017 Share Posted September 13, 2017 Wow - getting close !! Pseudo-panic is normal, pretty much before any event that you consider important. You probably experienced similar stuff before graduation, house buying etc, no? I think the more challenging part is the post-event dip, but you'd be honeymooning so fingers crossed this won't even be a thing:) For the teeth whitening: Crest White strips do the job and you pay 1/10 of the in-office treatment for similar result (after laser treatment the teeth are whiter *initially* due to enamel dehydration). Oh, and drink tea/coffee/wine with a straw before the wedding so you don't reintroduce stains For weight: girl, 1-2 pounds?? At least for me +/- 10 pounds are not affecting dress size a notch (possibly because I'm taller though). 2 pounds you can lose easily for the occasion with sauna the day before. Obviously not permanently but if you need to... For other beauty routine: I think not enough time to change things - stick to what works! (because new cosmetics etc sometimes turns sour - allergies/sensitivities you want to avoid on all costs). Deep hair conditioning will be nice, maybe a facial NOW so the skin has time to recover if it gets irritated (3 weeks is perfect). What else... Waxing? Mani/pedi once now, once right before... You know, you'll look great in any case Beauty stuff is all for us to feel in control, I'm sure you'd be radiant because you'll be very happy to be the bride 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted September 14, 2017 Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 Wow, thanks to you both for the good advice! And thank you very much for the point about beauty and control; I had never considered that before. So why am I as a control freak so disinterested in beauty? Maybe because I'm not confident I'll succeed at it. I can lift weights all day long but feel nervous about touching eyeliner. The post-wedding blues is another interesting point. I spend at most twenty minutes per day thinking about it. Yes, I'm very excited, but it's essentially just a big, gourmet food and drink party with an expensive dress. My coworker is also getting married soon but he is having a traditional Catholic wedding with a full Mass and hundreds of guests. He spent a half-hour yesterday just complaining about bridesmaids. At the end it's only as stressful as you make it, and the less you try to do, the less there is to worry about. I am far more concerned about flight delays with the honeymoon and so on. I know I won't be depressed when I come back because we have a new project awaiting us: the living room! Time to plaster, sand and scrape, paint and polish, all over again... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 I think we just tend to focus on things we're best at because they are the best confidence boosters. For you is lifting weights, for someone else could be winged eyeliner Final effect: the same - feeling better about ourselves! It is awesome to have a housing project aligned for the post-honeymoon time:) I think the blues comes from having less to do - you'd definitely avoid that! Btw your house project sounds epic - are you remaking every room from scratch? I admit my patience didn't get that far... Slowly fixing stuff here and there and whining about it The honeymoon must be the most exciting part! The party is more for the guests but the honeymoon is personal :love: I'm looking forward to reading updates! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted September 21, 2017 Author Share Posted September 21, 2017 Sixteen days. Do you ever feel your appetite getting out of control? Tell yourself "I have to put on a wedding dress in sixteen days." I'm at a fine size and still don't feel very motivated to eat. Even so, I'm in charge of weeknight cooking at our house, and I've been fixing the man a veritable feast: pork tenderloin, lentil stew, roasted root vegetables, socca, crepes, etc. Fall is my favorite season for cooking. I got LASIK last week and it's the best decision I've ever made for myself, maybe even better than my IUD. If you don't wear contacts or glasses you don't understand how liberated you are. Now I can work out, walk around, and go to sleep without having to take anything off or out. Contacts are convenient, but they're also expensive and the frustration of wearing them during allergy season is a notorious struggle. But it's over now! I can enjoy my honeymoon without bringing anything but a little vial of eyedrops. The night before we are having a "family dinner" in lieu of a rehearsal dinner (we're at a bar, there's nothing to rehearse!). It will be an opportunity for our immediate families to meet, which frankly scares the crap out of me. My fiancé's parents had a VERY acrimonious divorce; they did not speak for years until his sister's wedding, when they exchanged two sentences without looking at each other. I do not know how they'll fare around a single dining table in my parent's very small home. And did I mention his sister's husband thinks the moon landing was staged? It's gonna be a heck of a time. My fiancé wants to do a three-day juice cleanse starting Sunday. We both know that cleanses are silly pseudoscientific woo, but it's an appealing idea in some ways, and I have enough low-sugar, low-carb juice recipes that I think we can do this in a healthy way. But I also secretly think he won't last a day without coffee. We'll see. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 Yay for LASIK. Just curious: how does it affect the ability to play sports? I heard it is not recommended for athletes but the technology may have advanced. For juicing... Just don't get anorexic because of 'a fancy party with an expensive dress' as you called it yourself. As you know probably better than me, juicing has no tangible benefits (unless you're binging on junk food in your 'regular' days but you're not)... You'd basically lose poop weight and dehydrate a little at the very best... Sixteen days. Do you ever feel your appetite getting out of control? Tell yourself "I have to put on a wedding dress in sixteen days." I'm at a fine size and still don't feel very motivated to eat. Even so, I'm in charge of weeknight cooking at our house, and I've been fixing the man a veritable feast: pork tenderloin, lentil stew, roasted root vegetables, socca, crepes, etc. Fall is my favorite season for cooking. I got LASIK last week and it's the best decision I've ever made for myself, maybe even better than my IUD. If you don't wear contacts or glasses you don't understand how liberated you are. Now I can work out, walk around, and go to sleep without having to take anything off or out. Contacts are convenient, but they're also expensive and the frustration of wearing them during allergy season is a notorious struggle. But it's over now! I can enjoy my honeymoon without bringing anything but a little vial of eyedrops. The night before we are having a "family dinner" in lieu of a rehearsal dinner (we're at a bar, there's nothing to rehearse!). It will be an opportunity for our immediate families to meet, which frankly scares the crap out of me. My fiancé's parents had a VERY acrimonious divorce; they did not speak for years until his sister's wedding, when they exchanged two sentences without looking at each other. I do not know how they'll fare around a single dining table in my parent's very small home. And did I mention his sister's husband thinks the moon landing was staged? It's gonna be a heck of a time. My fiancé wants to do a three-day juice cleanse starting Sunday. We both know that cleanses are silly pseudoscientific woo, but it's an appealing idea in some ways, and I have enough low-sugar, low-carb juice recipes that I think we can do this in a healthy way. But I also secretly think he won't last a day without coffee. We'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted September 21, 2017 Author Share Posted September 21, 2017 An excellent question! There is a similar procedure to LASIK called PRK that is used for athletes of contact sports (I work out very hard but no contact), law enforcement, and people with thin or unusual corneas. It takes longer to recover and is more painful, but the net effect is the same. My coworker just had PRK and is very happy with the results. Honestly I think the chief benefit of a juice cleanse is psychological. If it gets us more relaxed and focused on what we're consuming, that's fine. And I'm sorta jazzed to not have to clean the kitchen for a few days. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 At different points during the day try to take a step back & observe. Look at the details. Savor the moments. With the blur that is your wedding day, these moments will become some of the clearest in your memory. Best wishes! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted September 27, 2017 Author Share Posted September 27, 2017 Ten days to go. My paternal grandfather was in a car accident on Monday. I don't know much about his condition, since my dad didn't have any news to report and said he would update us when he did. (The banana family is very stoic that way.) Granddaddy wasn't coming to the wedding, as he and Grandmamma are 91 and past the point where they can travel safely, but I was hoping to see them again soon. They have been my role models my whole life. Grandmamma taught me how to cook and even now she paints, sews, and does calculus for fun. I got my grandfather's introversion and quietly determined nature. There's no telling what will happen, but Granddaddy is one of the toughest people I've ever had the privilege to know. Get well soon, sir. My friend who was supposed to cook our family dinner can't make it since he's working and won't get a flight up until the morning of the event. So we bought food from our favorite barbecue place; it's going to be divine. I'm still nervous about whether his parents will be able to spend time in the same room comfortably. It's been ten years and they won't even make eye contact. I'm legitimately excited now, although it's mostly for the honeymoon. I don't like hyping up anything too much in my mind and by training I am used to finding potential faults in things, so all I can do is think of all the ways things will go wrong or disappoint people. That way I'll be pleasantly surprised when things are nice, right? In the meantime I'm going to keep enjoying this . Photographer's second payment: $350 Second half of bakery payment, including gratuity: $966.79 Catering for family dinner: $184.79 Wedding undergarments: $43 Jars for vendor thank-yous: $24.99 Jam and jelly ingredients to go into said jars: $22 Total cost of haircut that I tipped 50% for because it was so cheap: $65 Dumb cardboard signs to remind people to use our wedding hashtag: $10.01 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 Fingers crossed your granddad will be well soon - the rest will be fine. Being pretty much raised by my grandparents I know the connection grandparents-grandchildren can be extremely strong, and even that they can't attend your wedding - I'm sure they're overly excited about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted September 30, 2017 Author Share Posted September 30, 2017 One week to go. In fact, this time next week I will be in a wedding dress, partying it up with our closest friends. I am right where I need to be weight-wise, two pounds under my goal weight, so I'm easing back and enjoying girly protein shakes and such. I wrote a fun themed workout to do the morning of the wedding that should use up my excess energy and get me in the right frame of mind. Some people find peace at the spa; I lift weights. The fella is having another sort of bachelor's party tonight, this time at a horse racetrack with some old co-workers. I'm at home to clean some more, do last-minute home repairs and use up leftovers in the fridge. It's not a bad deal. I appreciate the time alone. We are spending money like water as all the wedding bills come in. We've been saving for this for a while, but it still freaks me out. I am so glad that we're meeting with my financial advisor after the honeymoon so we can redo our asset portfolio. Am I a nerd or what? Random crafty stuff from Michael's: $61 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 Not even 60 hours to go and my fiancé is coming down with a cold. It figures. We're both popping tons of zinc while we can. Tangentially related: as I mentioned earlier, I recently got LASIK. It turns out the nerve behind your eyeballs affected by LASIK is the same nerve where facial HSV1 is activated. So if you've ever had cold sores, you have to take medication for two weeks before and a full month after your surgery. As it turns out there's only one medication on the market that prevents cold sore outbreaks---yup, you guessed it: valcyclovir. My fiancé finds this hilarious. "Don't forget to take your Valtrex!" he hollers. Well, the joke's on him: some research suggests valcyclovir is also moderately effective at preventing colds. I feel fine for now but am desperate not to be sick at my own wedding. With my luck it's inevitable. Maybe I'm crazy or delusional, but the previous panic has subsided. I still feel a sort of numb shock that I'm actually putting on a wedding dress this weekend, but the party itself seems just about done. Tonight I will finish packing for the honeymoon and assemble my bag for the wedding. My fiancé plans to bring all our stuff to the venue. On Saturday morning all I have to do is my epic morning workout, walk to get lunch, and put on a pretty dress. I am thinking about my father a lot. His father was just in a serious car accident, his middle daughter is a week away from giving birth to his first grandchild, and his youngest daughter is getting married. Even for someone as notoriously emotionless as my dad that has to be a lot to process. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 My husband and I have started to attend Catholic church. We didn't marry in a Catholic church so I cannot receive the Eucharist until we have a convalidation ceremony. We also hated our elopement and that decision upset many people. So we're planning on having a Catholic convalidation in October 2021. It's basically going to be a Catholic wedding. We'll have all the bells and whistles of a wedding except a wedding party, gifts and showers. We're both really excited. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 Congratulations! Why did you elope if you both hated it? Was it just because you needed the paperwork done? Two of my coworkers are having big Catholic weddings and they sound daunting but exciting at the same time. So many flowers! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Congratulations! Why did you elope if you both hated it? Was it just because you needed the paperwork done? Two of my coworkers are having big Catholic weddings and they sound daunting but exciting at the same time. So many flowers! Thanks! We eloped because a wedding was out of our budget and my parents were being very controlling about the wedding. It was a fiasco. We're only having 80 people. I don't even know if I want a lot of flowers in the church. We're going to use high grade artificial flowers for decor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 Thanks! We eloped because a wedding was out of our budget and my parents were being very controlling about the wedding. It was a fiasco. We're only having 80 people. I don't even know if I want a lot of flowers in the church. We're going to use high grade artificial flowers for decor. I'm all about artificial flowers! We have them too for the corsages and boutinneres (no actual flowers). 80 is still a lot, but that's relative, right? My coworker told me with a straight face she "couldn't imagine less than 200." Meanwhile we have 65 and that feels like plenty! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted October 7, 2017 Author Share Posted October 7, 2017 My mother turned her already lovely home into House Beautiful last night, with lots of stunning (and adorable) details like a bureau covered with engagement photos and herbs in glass maple syrup jars. My mom is the original hipster for sure. We had incredible food, from my mom's crudites and homemade sauces to the catered barbecue and the excellent baked apples she made for dessert. The barbecue was so exquisite it may honestly have triggered a breakthrough in his family. Not only did no one kill each other last night, there was conversation! Between HIS PARENTS! My fiancé and his sister watched in shock while his mother and father had a somewhat stilted conversation about moose in the highways. (They're from way up North.) For two people who exchanged a single sentence two years ago and solid silence for seven years before that, it's practically earthshattering. I'm at the hotel. I finished a really kick-ass workout and feel amazing. It's time to switch off my devices and just breathe. Signing off for now---but will probably be back tomorrow while waiting around at the airport. Thanks for coming on this journey with me, LS. Lots of love and best wishes for you all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Enjoy your special day Lana Thinking of you both with love and a smile XO Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 The big day is today - enjoy the party Lana, be the coolest bride And update us from the airport or whenever you can 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted October 7, 2017 Share Posted October 7, 2017 Congratulations! Can't wait to hear all about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Congratulations Lana Banana! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted October 8, 2017 Author Share Posted October 8, 2017 I had my dream wedding. I didn't even have a dream in mind, but this was everything I envisioned and so much more. If it had gone half as well I would have been ecstatic. As it was my husband and I are in shock. It feels like a fantasy. Did I feel like a "serene princess" and all the other BS people promised? Of course not. But after a long, difficult workout that morning I felt like my typical neurotic self, and that was wonderful. The hair and makeup artist was a bit late but he still had me ready to go in ninety minutes. We took first look pictures with the photographer, which were allegedly beautiful. I don't know. He captured one of my husband laughing at a joke and me mock-shoving him that I love. It's an accurate reflection of our silly dynamic. But the event... Family photos were done in a half-hour, right in time for us to greet the first of the other guests. The party itself unfolded like something out of a movie. Our cocktail menus got people loosened up fast, especially when they realized we had separate drinks in separate areas. The non-alcoholic drinks also won rave reviews. Within about an hour guests were mingling and chatting across friends and family groups. We had two toasts, one from the best man and one from the man of honor. My man of honor made a couple cracks about my Worst Ex, the one who damaged me more than anybody, and---I laughed. I laughed until I cried. Granted, my friend is hilarious, but as I was laughing I felt something unexpected rippling over me. It was like discovering a familiar scar had disappeared. Just being able to laugh at what had once been the most acutely painful moment of my life was exhilarating. Our one dance was perfect. Midway through the dance, our dear friends who now live halfway around the world joined in via FaceTime. So we stopped and waved like lunatics. They stayed on for about fifteen minutes, even "posing" for pictures with us and friends. Having them "there" was so special. The food and drink was better than we'd ever hoped for. I ate way too many of the peanut butter and jelly mini-pies. Our croquembouche tower was the stuff of legend. Guests filled themselves on cookie butter cake, fried chicken, salt-roasted fish, foie gras, and local crab cakes. My husband bought himself a glass of a 1984 bourbon he'd been eyeing. Later that night his friend bought him a glass of 1942 Jameson. (It was delicious, but Irish whiskey doesn't age all that well. I much preferred the bourbon.) The chef made my husband a friend chicken sandwich topped with Petrossian caviar and foie gras. What an enabler! But the best part, the unequivocal best part, was how many people told us in no uncertain terms it was the best wedding they had ever attended. People raved over how laid back it was, how they felt relaxed about socializing over a free open bar all night, how easy-going and simple we were, how much fun it was to just enjoy the party. Multiple couples said they wished they had done their own weddings this way. A friend said "I hate weddings because forced socializing gives me anxiety, and this was the first time I actually had fun!" One of my husband's particularly haughty friends proclaimed it the best wedding ever. And everyone agreed that it was true to what they know and love about the bananas: we have the best food, drink and hospitality. We're waiting to board our flight now. I am excited for the honeymoon, but I am weirdly looking forward to focusing on the house full-time. It'll be so much easier. (I am not, however, looking forward to sorting all our belongings and gifts when we get home. I hate unpacking anything!) Most of all I am looking forward to the rest of my life with my superhero. Final costs: Hair and makeup, plus gratuity: $360 Venue, food and drink (covered by parents despite our protestations that we would handle it): $14850 Cabs to and from the venue: $30 6 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted October 8, 2017 Share Posted October 8, 2017 Wedding sounds amazing. And it stood out to me that it was right in the vibe that you're describing throughout the thread. Laid back, great food/drinks, mingling guests. I know this makes sense but big events have a factor of unpredictability- you seem to have got this under control Hope you and your husband have a blast of a honeymoon! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I'm so happy that you had a lovely wedding. Enjoy your honeymoon! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 My Catholic wedding isn't for a few years but I am having fun looking at options and bookmarking. Don't laugh! What does everyone think of buffets? I find them more cost effective but I'm also concerned about a buffet looking tacky. Plated meals seem more elegant but they are more expensive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted October 10, 2017 Author Share Posted October 10, 2017 Waiting for a final flight connection...we did a buffet and it was amazing! There is absolutely nothing wrong with buffets; they eliminate waste, and there's no guarantee plated food is any better. In fact, it's often worse. Certainly no one complained about our buffet of foie gras and crab cakes. One of the best weddings I attended had a potato buffet. You chose your own style (baked, sweet, mashed) and toppings. We all loved it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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