Author lana-banana Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 There is no requirement to change your name. Many of my friends didn't. I personally want to; I like my last name, but I like his last name too, and it's a tradition I am comfortable honoring. (I know a guy who had a horrible upbringing and took his wife's last name when he married.) NL weddings sound about right. It really shouldn't take long or be a big deal. I love the idea of it being so early in the morning---what a romantic way to start the day! Wedding rings will come in October, although we should probably go shopping one of these weekends while we're still in town. Our invites came today, but we still have to order envelopes and thank-you cards for after the wedding party. The wedding itself is mostly taken care of. People will show up at the venue, we'll all clap and cheer, hear two speeches, and proceed to party. I will probably be more excited for the flight for our honeymoon the next evening. We have a hotel room booked for the night before and the night of the wedding (using just my hotel points...business travel has some perks) so we don't have to be stressing out around the house. Funniest part from the marriage experience: the receipt for our wedding license just had the name of the marriage bureau and says "SALE" across the top. He's been bragging he got me at a discount. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Congrats!!:bunny: I'm so excited for you and Mr. banana. You mentioned that he's also on LS. It must be interesting reading each other's posts sometimes. I hope you have a lifetime of happiness! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 Thanks for your well-wisher! He is not on LS, but he always asks me "how are your stories?" as a joking reference to the way I read these threads like soap operas. He likes to weigh in, too! I never meant to tell him about LS but early on in our relationship he saw me reading a thread in the "Breaks and Breaking Up" section and he was very alarmed. I had to explain it was my hobby. Very awkward. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Ha ha! That's hilarious. Hopefully, my boyfriend never finds out! Great idea to get a hotel room for the wedding eve and wedding night. Let us know about the wedding party! I love your thread!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Funniest part from the marriage experience: the receipt for our wedding license just had the name of the marriage bureau and says "SALE" across the top. He's been bragging he got me at a discount. The 'SALE' on the licence is hilarious - I'm curious can you really get the licence on sale ? Did you get the licence and the certificate in the same day? I thought you need to wait (I think it differs per country/state) and the licence has an expiration date like on your learners permit for driving Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 The 'SALE' on the licence is hilarious - I'm curious can you really get the licence on sale ? Did you get the licence and the certificate in the same day? I thought you need to wait (I think it differs per country/state) and the licence has an expiration date like on your learners permit for driving You can get the license up to two weeks in advance. For couples having religious or large ceremonies I think it's standard to start the paperwork and mail the completed form back after your wedding day. But if you just want to get it done, like we did, there's no need to wait at all. Cost of license: $35 Certified copy of license: $10 Cab ride to courthouse: $11.50 Cost of invitations: $176 Hair and makeup trial for engagement photos: $125 Wedding night before/night of hotel room: $0 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 You're absolutely killing the numbers - for all the dudes that claim that getting married is too expensive for them to go forward! I also think the hotel the night before and after is a GREAT idea - the last thing that you want to think it that time is household chores and home repairs You can get the license up to two weeks in advance. For couples having religious or large ceremonies I think it's standard to start the paperwork and mail the completed form back after your wedding day. But if you just want to get it done, like we did, there's no need to wait at all. Cost of license: $35 Certified copy of license: $10 Cab ride to courthouse: $11.50 Cost of invitations: $176 Hair and makeup trial for engagement photos: $125 Wedding night before/night of hotel room: $0 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted July 15, 2017 Author Share Posted July 15, 2017 My wedding dress was supposed to arrive in mid-June. At the time, I called and asked; they told me it still hadn't arrived yet and delays of 2-4 weeks were common (brides take note!). Afterwards I forgot about it because we're doing a ton of work on the house and busy with business travel, cooking, canning, my certification course, etc. A wedding dress really doesn't feel that important. It had all but slipped my mind when I got a call last week telling me it was in. That would have been fine, except I gained 2 pounds on our mini-vacation and wasn't sure my waist would fit. Even at the time of the initial fitting the attendant wasn't sure if my waist would fit, and that was when I was lighter! So I had just a few days to try to lose the weight. As I write this, I realize it sounds insane. My co-workers thought it sounded insane too. "Two pounds is nothing. Why not just buy some Spanx?" I didn't have an answer to that and I still don't. What I did, however, was spend a couple days crash-dieting until I damn near gnawed off my own arm. It was almost like a religious ritual; I felt if I tormented myself enough, I might be able to avoid the horrible scourge of a dress that didn't fit. Well. The day came, and I wasn't pleased with the "progress" I'd made on the scale, but it wasn't terrible either. And you know what else wasn't terrible? The dress. It fit like a dream. Every part of it fit. The waist didn't even feel tight. Even the attendant was surprised. I was personally shocked, not only because of the whole waist thing but my body in general is not suited for most clothing: I'm very petite, but I'm also a weight-lifter, so very few shirts and pants fit me comfortably. This was incredible. Now to get it altered. I need the entire train taken out so I can just have it skimming my heels like a normal dress. Wedding dress alterations are so comically expensive, between $400 and $700. Don't get me wrong, I love my dress, but I am absolutely going to sell this once it's over. Lasting memories aren't worth money that could be better spent on home renovations. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 (edited) Congratulations Lana! Sounds so exciting ! We're getting married next Saturday, exactly a week from now. We have 45 guests, and that includes us. Wedding planning was somewhat stressful but not too stressful. My dress I got after just one trip to Davids bridal, I didn't have any parties beforehand etc. Dress is 50s style is not long. I got light blue bedazzled sandals. I didn't buy bridesmaids dresses only their bouquets. I didn't even want bridesmaids it's not a thing back home. I also don't pay for their hair and make up . I got them small gifts . Chose a venue at the university, got the most expensive food menu they had so there is enough food but there is still not enough food by the standard of my home country . But overall what we have sounds simpler than what other people do. Ah my son will play the cello in a cello quartet at the ceremony. We use a contemporary ceremony text and we don't have speeches of any kind. The wedding timing will be different than the American weddings. We don't eat everything and then dance. We dance throughout the dinner and courses are spaced out , people Dance in between . Cake comes last and after that wedding is over. Other details : got a photographer and DJ , have flowers made professionally but I have the absolute minimum amount : bouquets two big vases, ceremony aisle decorations and that's it. I will have hair and make up come to my house the day of. Rented a limousine to take us to the venue. Everything we paid so far seems to be about half off what you're describing , advances , as well as the wedding dress. Mine was about 850. I was just one dress up from street size . My family is here from overseas and they will stay a total of theee weeks. Already driving each other a bit nuts . They don't like air conditioning and they eat a very limited menu. I have them cook because I can't match their tastes. I mean, they eat the same damn thing every day. Other than that it's exciting but I was wondering why didn't we just elope? I recommend that to anyone who doesn't like s lot of fuss ) Edited July 15, 2017 by BluEyeL 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted July 15, 2017 Author Share Posted July 15, 2017 Ahhh, congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Tea length dresses are beautiful! I have to agree with you: it's not worth it. I would be really happy just eloping. But having a small celebration, even just a little party, means a lot to my fiancé and our families. You will have to let us know how it goes, especially with the food! What are you guys eating? What pieces will your son be playing? And the light blue sandals---that sounds like such a nice touch! We aren't having a DJ, dancing, bridesmaids, flowers (his mother has severe allergies), a ceremony, any of that. It's not our style. We just want people to eat and drink! We cook so much and host so many dinner parties that we cared most about putting on a nice meal. In terms of costs, we live in a big city, so everything here is more expensive. We've tried to save where we can, but we are also splurging on the meal, so it kinda evens out. We did get an incredible deal on our photographer; the average cost for a halfway decent photographer here is about 2500, and most of my friends paid double that. I understand the value of beautiful pictures but that would just never be a priority for us. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 15, 2017 Share Posted July 15, 2017 Lana, what you're doing sounds very nice! It's important to have some kind of celebration, that's why we also decided to have a wedding, although initially we wanted to elope. My soon to be husband is not social, and I"m not very social either. But the family is coming from overseas and it's important not to let the occasion pass with no celebration We are having guests being greeted with a glass of champagne while we have pictures after the ceremony. The ceremony is in the same building, after the ceremony, venue doors open and guests can go upstairs and get their drink at the door. Then there are appetizer passed around: mini beef wellington, sun-dried tomato with boursin cheese on pita points with pine nuts, sweedish meatballs. There is also a potato martini bar (or something): Potato Martini Bar - Yukon Gold/Truffle-Red Bliss/Basil- Yams/Honey ~ Cheddar, Bleu Cheese, Onions, Bacon, Olives, Tomatoes, Sour Cream, Mushroom Ragout, Brown Sugar, Honey International Cheese Tray with Crackers; Garden Vegetable Crudite Tray with Ranch Dip Assorted Artisan Rolls with Butter; Caesar Salad with Freshly-grated Parmesan Cheese SERVE AT 6:45 PM Grilled Salmon and Grilled Petite Filet Mignon; Vegetable Lasagna; Boursin Demi-Glace; Green Beans *BRIDE WOULD LIKE ASPARAGUS; Parmesan Risotto SERVE AT 7:30 PM Golden Rings Dessert Table Dessert Fondue Station - 3 Flavors and 6 Dippers Fresh Seasonal Fruit Tray Assorted Miniature French Pastries and Dessert Bars Dark Chocolate Butterscotch Peanut Butter Pretzel Rods Fruit Kabobs Biscotti Brownie Bites Chocolate Sandwich Cookies Golden Rings Coffee Station - Pillow Mints and Mixed Nuts Starbucks Verona Regular and Decaffeinated Coffee Assorted Hot Teas - Hot Chocolate Whipped Cream, Chocolate Shavings, Cinnamon Sticks and Assorted Flavored Syrups Golden Punch The Golden Rings Beverage Package 4-Hour Deluxe Open Bar Unlimited Non-Alcoholic Beverages Soda, Juice and Mineral Water House Champagne Toast - 1 glass per person Coors Light Miller Lite Heineken People's Moundbuilder IPA Smirnoff, Ron Rico, Bombay, Jim Beam, Seagram's 7, Johnnie Walker, Jose Cuervo, Kahlua, Captain Morgan, Bailey's and Malibu Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Cabernet and Merlot The photographer is about $800. DJ about the same. Flowers also, similar price. Cake comes at the end, is red velvet with something something I forgot lol Cake tasting was too long ago. So that's what's on the menu Ah and we also have an ice sculpture, supposedly included in the package. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Sounds amazing!!!! Congrats 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 Got married yesterday! It was beautiful, a perfect day! I'm so happy ! Everything went great, food was delicious and plentiful, flowers beautiful, everyone looked classy and was nice. Got compliments on the dress. Best compliment from the photographer,who asked my 15 yo son to stand to my left : "have your brother stand to your left" ) I said he is my son but thank you! ) We are happy and can't wait to go on the honeymoon on Wed! 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 24, 2017 Share Posted July 24, 2017 got married yesterday! It was beautiful, a perfect day! I'm so happy ! Everything went great, food was delicious and plentiful, flowers beautiful, everyone looked classy and was nice. Got compliments on the dress. Best compliment from the photographer,who asked my 15 yo son to stand to my left : "have your brother stand to your left" ) i said he is my son but thank you! ) we are happy and can't wait to go on the honeymoon on wed! yeeeeeee So happy for you. Enjoy your honeymoon 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted July 24, 2017 Author Share Posted July 24, 2017 I was just opening this thread to see if there had been any updates about your wedding. It's so great to hear that you had such a fabulous time! It sounds like it was everything you dreamed it would be and more. Enjoy your honeymoon and get plenty of rest! Or...not rest, ahem. I'm sure you'll have time for both! I'm not sure how this board feels about good faith product opinions. We ordered envelopes that, while beautiful, were shoddily done. About six of the envelopes were missing last names and two didn't print at all. They offered us a credit towards another order, but why would we buy again when the product quality is so inconsistent? Anyone looking to buy wedding stationery from a site that rhymes with "Bedding Shaper Tevas" should probably look elsewhere. (Luckily for us the actual invitations, laser-cut cards we had made by a professional in Poland, are stunning. These will fulfill my mom's desire for a fancy invitation she can show off to her garden club.) After some fits and starts and questions, I finally picked out a wedding band from the same wonderful local shop where we bought my engagement ring. We got fantastic service from them the first time and I really wanted a ring I knew would have conflict-free diamonds. The band I settled on is platinum with fifty-eight little diamonds around the sides. There's still enough flat space on it to do engraving, which I asked for; I wanted a pattern to match my engagement ring. The jeweler cut me an enormous discount because my fiance is almost certainly going to buy his band there too. I dropped off my dress for alterations. All we had to do is chop off the entire train, but it's still pretty costly. Rather than go to a wedding dress specialist I went to a local dry cleaner where all my friends have their everyday tailoring and dry cleaning done. The woman was incredibly professional and charged me about $300 less than anywhere else I had seen. It still strikes me as ridiculous. If I needed the chest or arms redone, I'd get it, but we're just chopping a couple feet of fabric off the back! Oh well. There are a lot of shops where the price of alteration is upwards of two or three thousand dollars. I just can't justify it when my dress wasn't that expensive and I plan on selling or donating this dress anyway. Here is the food menu for our event: Foie gras torchons Scallop ceviche Salad with smoked egg Fried chicken (my special request!) Purple potato salad Salt-roasted whole fish Local crab cakes Earl Grey-chocolate milk cake Elderflower-lemon chocolate cake Butterscotch croquembouche tower Rose petal macarons Lavender macarons Grasshopper icebox pies Peanut butter and jelly icebox pies If that sounds excessive, the drink menu is actually longer than the food menu (it's a bar/lounge, after all). I have some incredibly exciting news about our venue, but it will wait until we get closer to the actual date. No spoilers, not even for LS. Last night I had my first wedding-related dream. I dreamed the hair and makeup artist didn't show up. Everyone else was losing their sh-t but I was more or less unbothered. I kept insisting we could just go to CVS and pick something up and I'd just put my hair in a ponytail. This is pretty close to how I'd react if it actually happened, I think. I'm never going to be a hair and makeup lady. Cost of envelopes and RSVP cards: $81 Cost of stamps for envelopes and RSVP cards: $52 Cost of wedding band: $1634 Cost of dress alterations: $423 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 Thanks Lana! Everything was really great indeed. I loved that one of my husbands friends who said almost never danced, not even at his own wedding, danced a lot and he said he will dance more often from now on. Your menu sounds delicious and very fancy When is the wedding? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 Thanks Lana! Everything was really great indeed. I loved that one of my husbands friends who said almost never danced, not even at his own wedding, danced a lot and he said he will dance more often from now on. Your menu sounds delicious and very fancy When is the wedding? Early October! It feels like it's right around the corner. Getting close to just two months...I love your story about the dancing. If just one guest leaves having learned something new about themselves, it's a great success! I bet the music was amazing! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Getting close ! I'm sure it's going to be a perfect day ! I'm having a bit of an adrenaline crash, I need a new big project . I'm sorry all the planning and the day are over! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 My ex was a mess about all the details up till the day before. I told her just enjoy the day no matter what. If the church catches fire, we do the ceremony on the street, if the hall has a leak in the roof or the food is horrible, just enjoy the day. The celebration of a joining, a marriage and of the public acknowledgement that is the joy of the day. The marriage failed to live of to the joy of the day. Being a BS has harmed me greatly, but the joy of that day lives on. We both had a great day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted August 13, 2017 Author Share Posted August 13, 2017 Just under two months to go and it's...done? Mostly? I mean, all that's left to do at this point is get the families together the night before (at my parents' home) and make thank-you gift bags for our vendors. This is fine. We have been much too busy with the house to care about wedding planning anyway. But when I glanced at the automatically generated wedding checklist TheKnot provided I see how much absurd BS I'm supposed to be caring about. "Order small wedding favors for guests." Uh, no. Upwards of 75% of wedding favors are left behind because they're useless junk. We are feeding them foie gras and rare bay crab; I think we're good. "Start your pre-wedding facial appointments." Are you kidding me? The only facials I'm getting are blasts of polyurethane and paint thinner. "Make your first tooth whitening appointment." That is $600. You know what else I can get for $600? A proper industrial nail gun and air compressor. I had my second dress fitting yesterday and it is looking great. But the more I look at it the more aware I am that it's just a damn dress, like any other dress, and all this wedding stuff is pure silliness. I am glad we aren't doing anything overly complicated because I wouldn't be able to handle it on top of reframing a closet. This installment's cost breakdown: Tux for my fella - $599 Suspenders - $69 Dress shirt - $110 His shoes - $250 Domain re-registration: $17 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted August 13, 2017 Share Posted August 13, 2017 "Order small wedding favors for guests." Uh, no. Upwards of 75% of wedding favors are left behind because they're useless junk. We are feeding them foie gras and rare bay crab; I think we're good. How did I just find this thread? I'm so happy for you I agree that wedding favors are overrated. The only good wedding favor I have ever received was a bag of M&Ms. Seriously, who wants a candle with someone else's wedding date on it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted August 16, 2017 Author Share Posted August 16, 2017 (edited) As I've mentioned, we are having one dance at the wedding. On our first date when the conversation got a little awkward he pulled me close and suddenly started slow-dancing with me. He's continued to do this throughout our relationship, especially when I'm sad or stressed. About half the time he'll also sing one particular song. One of my fiance's many hidden talents is his voice; I remember being startled the first time I heard him sing. I love listening to him sing, and I love what that song has come to mean for us, so when it came time to pick music for our one dance I knew it automatically. The problem is I now feel a sentimental attachment to this song that is stronger than superglue. As soon as the opening progression plays I start to cry. Maybe it's just because I'm alone on a business trip and still have eight days before I see him again, but I put it on and bawled like the world was ending. I love this man so much it hurts. I need to start listening to this song so I don't ugly-cry like a fiend at my own wedding party, although that will almost certainly happen anyway. But it should at least wait until after my dance. (And in case you're wondering what it is... RIP to The King.) Edited August 16, 2017 by lana-banana 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lana-banana Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Twenty-six days to go. Our to-do list on the house is winding down--not that we're anywhere approaching done, but we should have the master bedroom finished by the party date, and that is a big achievement. He has been sawing, nailing, and working like crazy. I am in charge of sanding and painting. We spend a lot of time covered in dust. I am a bit under the goal weight for my dress, so that's fine. I'm not really worried about it but will probably be all salads for the last week. (The fact that I was so stressed about being two pounds heavier than normal should give you an idea of how consistent my weight is.) The rest of my beauty routine, well, uh, I guess I should try one. See anyone have recommendations for tooth whitening? I drink herbal tea all day long and it stains a bit. I thought about springing for the laser stuff at the dentist but c'mon, that is money that could go to the house or the honeymoon. I've been having a lot of pseudo-panic about the direction of my life lately---I have flashbacks to people I knew as a kid, jobs I didn't get, decisions I made, etc, and I feel overwhelmed with how many things could have been that weren't. I'm not upset at all, just stunned at how many things had to work out (and not work out) for me to be here, now, today, standing with the man who became the love of my life. I have a lot more respect for how arbitrary and strange life is. There were millions of possibilities for me, but by a combination of luck, the decisions of others, and all my best and worst traits, I'm here. It's very humbling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted September 12, 2017 Share Posted September 12, 2017 Hey Lana, congrats! Sounds like you have it all under control. For the teeth, a regular dental cleaning should take care of any staining. Plus, you'll know your mouth and teeth are healthy. And it won't cost $600. Best wishes to you and your fiance! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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