LDR currently on a break

[joro]

My boyfriend and I are currently on a break, the reason for this is that we get so annoyed at each other as we can't see each other as much as we'd like. I'm in London, UK and he is in Vancouver, Canada. We've been long distance from February 2016 and usually see each other between 3-4 months time gap.

 

We spent 10 days together 26 Dec until 4 Jan which we both agreed it was a perfect week and the only problem is that it will go back to us getting annoyed over stupid issues such as lack of time talking to each other. We both live busy lives but it's hard to make a day or time that works with an 8hr time difference.

 

I'm finding it really difficult not being able to contact him and so is he, he wants us to wait until were back in the same country until we get back together which could be anytime from now until July. I can't help but think maybe this break will end us altogether.

 

I'd like advice on how to cope and success stories to keep me in a positive mind frame.

 

Thanks everyone! X

[Ronnys93]

Hmm, it sounds like you both aren't really dealing well with the long distance in the first place? The situation is hard to begin with, but you guys have quite the distance and there are clearly lots of other obstacles in your way. Which means, the break could very well mean the end of things for you both.

 

I have two friends who are in a long distance committed relationship, one lives in the UK and the other lives in the US. They actually did end up taking a break because she had family issues that took her attention from the relationship. And while it was rather hard, they realized that they still loved each other enough that they could endure the relationship and continue planning meetups. They eventually got engaged and are getting married next year. If you REALLY want this to work, you have to put work in. YES, there's going to be difficulties, YES, you're gonna be sad when you can't see him all the time. That's what you signed up for when you agreed to be in a LDR. You have to work for it, and the time difference and both of your busy life schedules make that hard.

 

On the other hand, you can slowly distance yourself more and more and move on.

[justwhoiam]

My boyfriend and I are currently on a break, the reason for this is that we get so annoyed at each other as we can't see each other as much as we'd like.

[...]

I'm finding it really difficult not being able to contact him and so is he, he wants us to wait until were back in the same country until we get back together which could be anytime from now until July. I can't help but think maybe this break will end us altogether.

 

I'd like advice on how to cope and success stories to keep me in a positive mind frame.

 

Thanks everyone! X

6/7 months is a very well defined and short time in a LDR. You know when things will be back to normal. Not many couples have this luxury while in a LDR.

 

First of all, try to be creative with the way you keep in touch with him. If an eight-hour time difference keeps you apart because of your life schedules, then you need alternative plans. I use a safe personal online storage service to upload stuff (pictures, videos/movies, virtual presents, calendars, etc)

Recently we are also using a safe private diary (penzu), where we can type entries which work as updates or just love notes for each other. It creates memories, unlike e-mails that are then hard to save and archive over time.

 

Both services are free (you only pay if you need more than it's offered for free).

 

You will cherish his love message when you get up in the morning and that will be with you for the day. When you have time, you can write your own message and so forth. You can use this system to arrange time together on the phone, like a date, etc.

 

P.S. We had also tried the avocado messenger, though we used it very sparingly.

Edited January 8, 2017 by justwhoiam