Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 There this lady in my fitness group. Same age group as me, 40. We don't socialize. We're just really acquaintances. I hanged iwth her one time during a fitness activity. I sent her FB friend request, she accepted cool. I giver her likes, hoping to give her a hint. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Chat with her before or after class. If you build a rapport, ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 Accidentally posted original post. I can't edit it anymore. Here is the edit: Title: How get to know/ask out lady in fitness group? Body: There's a lady in my fitness group, that I fancy. Same age group, 39-41. We don't socialize. We're acquaintances. I've interacted with her before. The longest during a fitness activity. We're FB friends. I give her lots of likes--hint hint--though she get lots of likes from others too. At a social party for the group, I passed by her and we just said hi, and that was it. Regardless, I enjoyed my time and I got to meet other like-minded folks. Getting to know/socialize with her more would have been icing on the cake, but that didn't happen. How can I try to get to know her more, or ask her out? She hasn't given me any green lights. Side note: Anytime I've fancied someone in the past, it never worked (save for one time). It becomes unrequited love/crush. I'm catching myself not to go there, since I'm not dating her.Granted, it's never worked when I didn't fancy them either. But I'm more relaxed and myself.My mindset is to not put all my eggs in one basket, but I'm not multi-dating.If I do ask her out, and she declines, how do I go no contact? I'll unfollow her on FB. Avoid running into her during fitness group activities.Lastly, I'll try to get to know other ladies in the group. Hope I don't get a reputation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 Chat with her before or after class. If you build a rapport, ask her out. Yeah, I'm going to have to try to run into her more. We don't always end up in the same group. And they don't always begin and end at the same time. The one time, I did purposely join her group. I saw her in the group and said to myself you know what I think I'm going to go that way, and now we're FB friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Yeah, I'm going to have to try to run into her more. We don't always end up in the same group. And they don't always begin and end at the same time. The one time, I did purposely join her group. I saw her in the group and said to myself you know what I think I'm going to go that way, and now we're FB friends. I would not actively seek out to run into her... My weapon of choice would be facebook for this situation.. use it to your advantage. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I don't see why you'd need to go no contact if you ask her out and she says no. That might be the case if she says yes, you date for a while, and then things go really badly, but I think that is over reacting to remove her from your life if she isn't interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 I don't see why you'd need to go no contact if you ask her out and she says no. That might be the case if she says yes, you date for a while, and then things go really badly, but I think that is over reacting to remove her from your life if she isn't interested. Dealing with rejection was what I meant. I shouldn't have said "no contact". It's going to sting initially. It's easier to move on when I'm not going to see someone again. I'm likely going run into her again. So unfollow her on FB. Avoid running into her. Once the initial sting wears off, I'll be fine. I'm not emotionally invested. There will be other opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 I would not actively seek out to run into her... My weapon of choice would be facebook for this situation.. use it to your advantage. What do you do with FB? PM her outof the blue? See if can get a convo going? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 What do you do with FB? PM her outof the blue? See if can get a convo going? Become interesting... post of pics of things you like to do.. If she likes them... thats a sign she is interested.. I think fitness places are the worse to pick up women.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Dealing with rejection was what I meant. I shouldn't have said "no contact". It's going to sting initially. It's easier to move on when I'm not going to see someone again. You need to expect rejection. The fact that a woman is in a guy's proximity does not mean that she may be even remotely interested in dating him. Assuming she has a good social life (does her FB reflect this?) then she's at the gym to get fit - not to meet people. When approaching near strangers, treat a 'yes' as an unexpected surprise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 What do you do with FB? PM her outof the blue? See if can get a convo going? If she puts a thread or a photo which you can make agreeable or intelligent conversation on, then do so. If she's not responsive, take it as a sign of disinterest. And when I say 'conversation', I'm not referring to complimenting a photo of her. There is no conversation to be had from that. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 To add to what Basil says, if you are so invested in her already that before even asking her out you are planning to have to go "no contact" over the hurt of the rejection, you probably shouldn't even ask at this point. You've clearly built this up to be more than it should be with basically a stranger. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 (edited) To add to what Basil says, if you are so invested in her already that before even asking her out you are planning to have to go "no contact"over the hurt of the rejection, you probably shouldn't even ask at this point. You've clearly built this up to be more than it should be with basically a stranger. Quit spinning this to how you want to see it. Please read again. I said I'm not emotionally invested. I clarified bad choice of words to say "no contact". Learning how deal with rejection is not a bad thing. Edited January 10, 2017 by Chris2016 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 You need to expect rejection. The fact that a woman is in a guy's proximity does not mean that she may be even remotely interested in dating him. Assuming she has a good social life (does her FB reflect this?) then she's at the gym to get fit - not to meet people. When approaching near strangers, treat a 'yes' as an unexpected surprise. Yes, rejection is perfectly fine/normal ... expected. It's actually a huge running community/group. It'll be nice if I meet someone here, if not I'm doing what I enjoy anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Yes, rejection is perfectly fine/normal ... expected. Good. So there will be no hurt or disappointment on your part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris2016 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 Good. So there will be no hurt or disappointment on your part. Lol. Rejection is rejection. Its going to sting hurt. But not impossible to move on from. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts