MissCongeniality Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 So my oldest daughter has a new best friend probably her first real friend. There is a serious problem though her friend is a self absorbed B and reminds me a lot of myself when I was young. For the record that's not a good thing. I think she's not bad on purpose she just doesn't no better. I don't like how she's always talking about how men are disposable and it's really weird how much like me (a very young immature version of me) she is but aside from the usual troubled kid flaws she's not very bad. I think she's afraid of her mom or something because I feel she's almost always at our house but she's also helping out to. Part of me thinks she is just cracked but not broken another and I like she's loyal and protective of my daughter but part of me doesn't like the potential negative influence on my daughter. As a kid I was treated like trash because of how friends parents viewed me. I don't want to alienate her like how I was but at the same time... I just feel stuck. Link to post Share on other sites
foxgener Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 So my oldest daughter has a new best friend probably her first real friend. There is a serious problem though her friend is a self absorbed B and reminds me a lot of myself when I was young. For the record that's not a good thing. I think she's not bad on purpose she just doesn't no better. I don't like how she's always talking about how men are disposable and it's really weird how much like me (a very young immature version of me) she is but aside from the usual troubled kid flaws she's not very bad. I think she's afraid of her mom or something because I feel she's almost always at our house but she's also helping out to. Part of me thinks she is just cracked but not broken another and I like she's loyal and protective of my daughter but part of me doesn't like the potential negative influence on my daughter. As a kid I was treated like trash because of how friends parents viewed me. I don't want to alienate her like how I was but at the same time... I just feel stuck. What do you mean men are disposable. How old is this kid? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissCongeniality Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 What do you mean men are disposable. How old is this kid? She's older than my daughter (16 or almost 16) they met in detention. Which is part of why I'm concerned my daughter started high school this year. I think the girl talks like this because of her mother every she says something like that usually "That's what my mom says anyway." is not too far behind. Link to post Share on other sites
Whitestar Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Up to at least the age of 16 a parent is fully responsible for everything regarding their child since even 16 year olds have poor impulse control and decision making (their brains haven't even fully formed yet). If you even suspect she's associating with bad influences its your responsibility to stop it from happening unless you believe your daughter should learn by (bad) experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Inspiredruth11 Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 I see what you mean about feeling stuck... When I think about your situation and your daughters friend the first thing that comes to mind is how comfortable she feels being with you. She may be looking to feel like she has a family. However, I think it's important that since she is in your home and obviously likes spending time with you that you take advantage of every opportunity to give her some good advice and encouragement. You don't know how long this faze will last so you want to make sure you plant some good seeds of wisdom that she will remember throughout her lifetime. For starters you can say very kindly that we need to respect men and women just as we would want to be treated, and it starts with not saying "men are disposable" anymore. (At least in your house or around you) This way your daughter understands that not everything people say make it okay. I would also talk to your daughter when your are alone and ask her what she thinks about her new friend, and let her know that you love her but you want to make sure that she understands how to protect herself from negativity and that there's rules in your household that she and her friends need to respect. Setting a standard in your home is important and sticking to them is key. I hope this helps, blessings! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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