Getting Over a First Love- When he keeps coming back!

[Missalexismarie]

I am hugely in need of what to do!

 

I am in my late teens, and I have already had my first love. We dated from February 24th, 2015, up until mid-July of 2016. I had had feelings for him since 2013, whereas it was the same for him. It all seemed perfect.

 

When we got together, I can't express how happy I felt. It was like this strange, but massive wave of euphoria washing over me. I finally felt happy. Being a victim to major depression and very, very severe anxiety, for once, I got a taste of what happiness was like.

 

When we broke up, however. I fell apart, completely and one-hundred percent. I was completely in love with this kid. He was a home with arms. He was the reason I looked forward to waking up every morning. He WAS my motivation. He was my shoulder to cry on. Despite our arguments and such, he was so perfect. Everyone called us the "perfect couple."

 

Six months later, and we're still broken up. But last week, during our Winter Break, he invited me over. I THOUGHT at this point I was over him. Clearly not, as I'm bawling my eyes out as I type this.

 

So, I go over to his house. But prior to him picking me up, (he lives a good 43 minutes from me now) he had told me that the friend that was coming to pick me up was a "ladies man," and that he'd be pissed off if he stole me from him.

 

So, I was like hmm. Okay.

 

So I get to his house, things are great. We're chatting, taking selfies together after not having seen each other in months. His step-brother and friend leave for a bit, and we head into his bedroom. He immediately wanted to cuddle, so we did. He was squeezing me so tight, and his breathing was nervous, as well as mine.

 

We cuddled for a good fifteen-twenty minutes before he kissed me. It felt wonderful. Unfortunately, it turned into sex. Three times. Afterwards, we just laid there and listened to music together and talked.

 

Note; I ended up stranded out there with no ride home, so I was stuck there for three extra nights. Every night, he wanted me to sleep next to him like we used to. So I did, and we cuddled each other to sleep like we used to when we were committed to one another.

 

He was very... territorial. A bunch of his friends would come over and he'd make sure he was directly next to me. An ex of his came over and he sat next to me, grabbed my feet and just started massaging them out of the blue and pulled both of my legs up onto his lap.

 

During the days I was there, his Mom wanted me to go with them to drop him off at work. So, I did. When he was getting out, I would get out because I'd want to sit in the front seat. He waited on the side of the car until I made my way around, just to give me a kiss before he headed into work.

 

It was the same thing everyday I was there. When my Mom & Grandmother came by and picked me up to take me home, I started to head for the door and he jogged after me and went, "no hug?" so as I'm turning around on the step, he hugs me but then kisses me. I guess I looked surprised, because he awkwardly said, "I don't know, it felt right." and then continued to walk awkwardly back into his house.

 

When I got home, I messaged him to let him know I made it home okay.

I've been home for about a week at this point, and since then he's been really mean to me.

 

Additional Note; while he was at work, both his Mom & Step-Dad both told me he had feelings for me. I confronted him about this, and he stuttered a whole lot, and then said he didn't want to talk about it. Our breakup didn't end on good terms originally, and we tried again in September after our break-up in July and a bunch of crap popped off and once again, we were no longer in contact. Same with October until he got ahold of me again in early December.

 

He has been giving me an attitude, he's distancing himself from me. He'll ignore me for hours. I confronted him about him being mean to me tonight and he told me he didn't know why he was being mean to me, and that if he knew he would have told me why so I'd leave him alone about it.

 

Since then, I haven't been able to stop crying. What does his actions mean?

What should I do? Does he still have feelings for me? All of these questions. It's making my head spin.

[loveiswar101]

Hey, welcome!

 

I'm going to be honest but not brutal. I get the picture your young and when the first love comes along we all go a little crazy. It's life.

 

Now as I read it he's just got you where he want's you. Please take a step back and look at the big picture. You were together all worked out. Then split and he was mean. The he got bored and wanted to see if he held all the cards (im not having go at him for this). You came running and then low and behold let your guard down stayed there had sex. Then he pushed you away once he got what he wanted.

 

This cycle will keep repeating itself if you let it. Ivé been there and guessing im alot older than you.

 

You need to toughen up. If you like him I would send a text of something like. "it was nice to see you but Im not a FWB type of girl when you need me. If you are interested in rekindling thats fine but other than I think it's best we go our separate ways, take care, thanks"

 

Unfortunately being yur first love it going to be had to walk away. But not many stay with their first love and if doesn't work out it's hard but a great experience to learn from and take into you next relationship. Please don't be a doormat here!

 

1. He's actions show he want's his cake and eat it.

 

2. Feeling for you...yes probably but action speak way more than words. Your not mean to people you like.

 

It's going to be tough but don't chase, try not to be needy, don't get into a texting roundabout of if's and but's. You said what you wanted and it up to him to decide. If he's interested once you remove yourself he will let you know.

 

Best wishes

Edited January 11, 2017 by loveiswar101

[Missalexismarie]

I may have no other choice but to remove myself, because I just can't handle the way he's treating me anymore. I have been nothing but nice to him.