littlebee123 Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 hey, I would love people to reply , it would help me so much. thanks. I am trying to work on my self esteem but 4 years ago I was in a bad place struggling with my identity. I was an absolute rock bottom. I rushed into getting a tattoo on my calf. Its quite large, its a vintage mirror with hearts and eye décor. I HATE IT! The last 4 years have been a constant battle every time I get undressed. Tattoo removal is not an option atm. I luckily have mastered the art of tattoo camouflage. I would NEVER leave the house with it on show, I don't even walk around the house with it on show and I live alone. The make up is good, its even waterproof, but its not a perfect science. It does rub off sometimes, and I have to re-do it each day, and obv if I'm wearing jeans I don't cover it underneath . When its covered I feel good and can be happy-me .. but its different when you add a boyfriend to the deal because its not something I can hide from them like I do my friends... My question is, would this bother a guy? I know guys like to have that sexy hot girlfriend, and tbh I have a great body, nice hair, and also hold down a great social life. I am very happy apart from this tattoo bringing me self esteem down. I couldn't cope covering it up all the time around a boyfriend, its too much effort and they would notice. I would want to be with someone that doesn't care even if we are in bed and its not covered or rubs off. or sees it now and then when I'm getting ready. I get so upset thinking il never meet anyone, theyl just think I'm weird and reject me. Its not 'usual flaw' like an illness or scar. I never had luck with guys even before the tattoo, and I have always been very outgoing and nice. Obv when I'm dating I wouldn't have to mention it straight away but when things progress and start seeing each other/nights in , the thought makes me feel ill. How would I even tell them and when? ... I don't want to be at their house and I'm like 'sorry cant rest me legs over you and get cosy or my tattoo make up will rub.. etc etc. I want to be the sexy girl that every guys wants not a weirdo. Any advice, reassurance, or experiences? I will appreciate it forever! (I did have one relationship that ended a few weeks ago, it only lasted about 2 months and I was obv his rebound after a 8 year relationship. I should of known better, he treated me amazing and we had a great time together but he ended things when he realised he obviously not ready for anything committed despite his rush at the start. ... I told him about my tattoo after few weeks on a night out..drunk, its winter here so I was always in leggings anyways with it covered underneath. he didn't seem bothered by it at all when he seen it during intimate times, but now I realise I was just a rebound and cant use this example to give me hope, cause he wasn't thinking straight and long term :/ ) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 How is having a tattoo a ' flaw' ? Tattoos and piercings are usually for people who want an ' edge ' over their personal style. Some dig it , some don't, depending on how you carry it. Do you hate it because guys don't like it ? That's not a fair enough reason. A guy who is into you , would rather love it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I doubt any guy would ever turn someone down over such a tattoo...lots of guys nowadays love a girl with ink. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Any guy who really likes you will not care about your tattoo. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlebee123 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 How is having a tattoo a ' flaw' ? Tattoos and piercings are usually for people who want an ' edge ' over their personal style. Some dig it , some don't, depending on how you carry it. Do you hate it because guys don't like it ? That's not a fair enough reason. A guy who is into you , would rather love it. I love tattoos but I hate mine, its nothing to do with a guy not liking it, its the fact I don't like it, I hate the design and the story behind why I got the tattoo (bad place in my life). I get so scared, I will get rejected when they see it not covered up. its stupid Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Thats why tattoos are tough ! they have a meaning behind it. Piercings, you can take off whenever. Get it erased. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I think your insecurity regarding your tattoo is a much bigger hurdle than your tattoo would ever be. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 You are projecting repressed feelings onto the Tattoo. They way you feel about your tattoo is the way you feel about yourself. You have placed your feelings about a "(bad place in your life)" into the tattoo, as well. Even the fact that you put that statement in brackets is significant (The brackets wall off and encapsulate unwanted feelings, just like the tattoo.) This stems from your subconscious/preconscious mind, and is not something you will be be conscious of. "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." — C. G. Jung Try doing some free writing to bring the repressed feelings into your awareness. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I'm curious of the answers here cuz yeah, I had a tattoo that I covered up with two visits of four hour sessions And, there's one I wish I didn't get and another that I need to have some brush up on. But meh, doesn't bother me much - unless his tatts are cooler 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Annaliese Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I love tattoos, but I got one that I hate. After years of keeping it covered, I finally found an artist who transformed it into something pretty. There are tattoo artists who are experts at cover up and transformation of old tattoos. Would that be an option for you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlebee123 Posted January 11, 2017 Author Share Posted January 11, 2017 I love tattoos, but I got one that I hate. After years of keeping it covered, I finally found an artist who transformed it into something pretty. There are tattoo artists who are experts at cover up and transformation of old tattoos. Would that be an option for you? its already too big and detailed. I would have to have something massive and dark =[ I feel I could carry on covering it up, but my main issue is I worry men will be put off if they know about it. I don't want to be alone forever x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 its already too big and detailed. I would have to have something massive and dark =[ I feel I could carry on covering it up, but my main issue is I worry men will be put off if they know about it. I don't want to be alone forever x They will not be put off by it. Also, cover ups do not have to be dark at all. You can use colour and some artists are experts at this! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I can't imagine turning down a girl I was into over an ugly calf tattoo. If it was on her face or upper chest maybe. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Why isn't removal an option if the tattoo is so distressing to you? Link to post Share on other sites
nobodyIam Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I dont think many guys will care about tattoo unless it's on face,or you did it in suspicious "studio". Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Just my opinion, but there is nothing attractive about a well dressed man or women with an exposed tramp stamp. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Just my opinion, but there is nothing attractive about a well dressed man or women with an exposed tramp stamp. Oh, when did guys start sporting T-stamps? Anywho, I agree with you in part. I wear a lot of turtlenecks and long sleeves at work I don't like people seeing my ink in certain settings. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Oh, when did guys start sporting T-stamps? Anywho, I agree with you in part. I wear a lot of turtlenecks and long sleeves at work I don't like people seeing my ink in certain settings. There are tramp stamps on men too. Take a police officer in summer uniform and tats on his arms. It immediately decreases the publics perception of his trustworthiness. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 There are tramp stamps on men too. Take a police officer in summer uniform and tats on his arms. It immediately decreases the publics perception of his trustworthiness. Ummm NO it doesn't. It might for you....for me it makes me think he is cool, down with art and has a high tolerance for pain. Don't put your opinions on others like everyone feels the same. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Annaliese Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 If a man loves you for who you are inside and out, I can't imagine him not being able to get past a leg tattoo! If he dumps you over that, then he's not worth it to begin with. He doesn't care about YOU. I think you should stop worrying about your tattoo so much and focus on all the wonderful things about you instead. That's what truly matters and that's what the right man will love about you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 There are tramp stamps on men too. Take a police officer in summer uniform and tats on his arms. It immediately decreases the publics perception of his trustworthiness. FYI a "tramp stamp" refers to a tattoo located on the lower back, kinda got popular for women in the 90's. You aren't going to be able to see one on a police officer in uniform. Tattoos have greater acceptance now than ever before. Here in San Francisco, ink is extremely common. I know attorneys with full sleeves. I understand that not everyone likes tattoo, or that some people are extremely intolerant of them, but do not assume all of the general public shares the same level of disgust. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 (edited) As a doctor I have to give you my evaluation and say you're pretty much doomed. JK! I don't think most men will care. WITH that said, you need to change your mind on being "the sexy woman that every guy wants" stuff. THAT is much more unattractive to a lot guys then any tattoo as it tells us that your primary focus is based on physicality instead of other qualities. If you want to look good to attract one man and keep him because you have the total package (personality, intelligence, humor etc) then great. A lot guys don't want a woman who is focused on all guys lusting after her all the time. Fix that first before the tattoo and if you cant, then perhaps the tattoo is a good thing if it keeps you humble and forces you continue work on the more important qualitIes and esteem their greater importance. ; Don't worry about the tattoo. Edited January 12, 2017 by fireflywy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 I'm sorry you are feeling so down and it is quite natural after a break-up. I know you regret having the tattoo done but a guy who loves you will love you regardless. He will be attracted to your personality and presence not just look at detail like a tattoo. I know some guys are against them but if they think in black and white like that, then maybe they are not for you. I am older and it was rare for women of my age to have tattoos, therefore it is quite common for men my age to say 'no tattoos' in their dating profiles. It is because in those days, it was unusual. Now though, many women have tattoos and just look fashionable. I think it best to be upfront about it and let them know straight off rather than worry about when to tell them. I am sure a good guy would not let a minor detail put him off the girl of his dreams. We all go through patches of feeling as if we will never find the one. Maybe some of us won't, but we can enjoy those we meet and spent time with. If a guy does not find you beautiful and wonderful, do not bother with him. If you are shy and worried about your appearance, you will probably convey some anxiety to guys and they will be uncertain as to whether you want them or not. Guys can be just as concerned that women might not like them. Filter out the guys who are only looking for something casual. You will get better at spotting those who are not looking for commitment. It is no reflection on you if they are not; it just means they are incompatible with you (they don't qualify as the kind of guy you need). What Annaliese said is very good advice - focus on the wonderful things about you. Those are what will matter to the right guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 I doubt any guy would ever turn someone down over such a tattoo...lots of guys nowadays love a girl with ink. I would. The type of guy your looking for it may cut your odds. It just depends on the guy. Doesn't men tin general ate oppose to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Who cares about a tattoo on a calf. Really. This is a problem to you only and you should address all the negative feelings it generates for you but as for your dating life no one will care. Especially on a calf. If you had patio chairs tattoed on your breast I'd understand being self-conscious but a calf, nah. Life will bring you much bigger problems than this one. Link to post Share on other sites
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