katielee Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Today is the 5 year antiversary of me reading a way too familiar text that led to DDay of his first affair (roughly a year after my own) the next day. I have been so very antsy and depressed the last two days and now maybe I've figured out why. How my body knows this before my head makes sense of it I'll never know. There is nothing new going on, we are good together, we talk every night - not about affair related stuff but relationship stuff - and that is all great. I know I'm very lucky. We are leaving on a fabulous trip on Saturday. Somewhere warm, for a week. There is no one I'd rather share this with than him. I can't believe we have survived all this. We can't much share with friends because they tired of hearing about it after about a year. They have no idea the pain, work and struggle we faced. Or, they just don't want to know. Just this summer our IC friend told us she'd like to smack our heads together after hubby called me on something while we were all on a boat together. Someone here (probably Understand) wrote that the pain/trauma changes you and takes a little bit of happiness from your daily life. It so very does. It has for both of us. That part is outweighed (sometimes by just a little!) by our life together and love that has grown. Many in another forum I'm on say simply just choose happiness. As if it was that easy. The trauma from this resides in a part of me that I don't have much control over. Although it is getting easier. We do not speak of any of the affairs and haven't for a couple years. Just trust violations (real or preceived) that make us anxious. I still want honesty. He still wants my trust. That is where we are at right now. That is as good as we are today, which is pretty monumental. Considering. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 I'm glad you're in a good time place. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Have a great vacation.... Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Great update Katielee!!! Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted January 11, 2017 Share Posted January 11, 2017 Have fun... Link to post Share on other sites
NotCamelot Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Congrats on the milestone. And, have a great vacation as well. We are coming up our 5 year date as well ( in 4 months ). When I was told, over and over, that it takes up to 5 years to recover, I had no idea how accurate that was. Wishing you, and all of us reconciling/recovering, continued success and happiness! Link to post Share on other sites
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