Girlfriend lost attraction to me because I was insecure. How do I overcome that?

[BryanSmiley]

Sometimes I think it can just take one party being a less compassionate type of person, to start or worsen what were otherwise manageable insecurities for the other. I’m a fairly confident guy (could always improve) and feel this was slowly stripped back in a relationship the past few months, by a girl whom I rarely felt I knew where I stood with. For someone to be close in many ways I found her lack of wanting to make plans, contact, work through small issues – very unsettling and un-usual. It made me insecure and ultimately I think pushed a wedge between us.

 

Both parties were to blame. I can accept my part in that and in the future would play things differently. But I don’t think she sees how her actions were an issue and cause of the insecurities. For example, one night we were on her bed after 11pm, for about 30 mins she was purely messaging on the phone to a male friend without saying a word to me. I said; I have no concern at all anything is going on, but do you not find it un-usual to be messaging a single male friend so late at night, laying next to and not saying a word to your partner? She entirely missed the first part of my sentence and said nothing’s going on, you have issues. I was purely pointing out the seeming rudeness, and social abnormality in what she was doing. Fair?

 

If I were messaging a single female friend for 30 mins after 11pm whilst laying next to her in bed and not saying a word, I’m sure she’d have recognised it as a little rude and social abnormality. Yet she was adamant it was my securities. Ironically this lead me to question myself and lead to...insecurity where it didn’t previously exist.