Gripped by throat during argument with husband. Thoughts?

[Nicole86]

My husband and I had an argument the other night about something personal that I'd rather not share. In our 10 years together we have never had a fight like this, he is always caring, protective and loving towards me but to others he can be a little intimidating, seeing him so upset with me was a shock. We have no children yet. I am from Russia and I threatened him that I was leaving him to go back home.

 

I admit that I made the argument worse because when he took my passport from me I threw a glass at him, missing him, and told him I only married him out of fear. He gripped me by the throat, putting me to the wall and screamed as he punched the wall beside me, when I told him to hit me he just grunted and walked away.

 

He insisted we talk about everything which we did and managed to clear the air that night and we had make up sex. He has never put his hands on me before and I admit I caused it to escalate but he reaction scared him.

 

 

What are your thoughts on this? I know I taunted him but did he have a valid reason to react as such? Thanks guys.

[darkmoon]

if he grabbed you so, sounds like he knew just how to do it, which tells me this is not his first time at grabbing throats, yours or somebody else's, if he is not deeply sorry to be so violent, leave him, imho

[VeveCakes]

1. He took your passport - that is abuse and control and not OK.

 

2. the obvious, he tried to choke you out. Has happened to me also, and the next time it happened it was a lot worse.

 

This behavior will only escalate. My personal advice is leave and don't ever ever go back.

[Mr. Lucky]

It sounds like you're both practicing a dangerous game of brinkmanship that benefits neither of you. Taunting, throwing things and physical abuse - this is how you want to live you life and conduct your marriage?

 

Plenty of blame to go around...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Satu]

As stated above.

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

Yeah I think you're both being abusive. The fact that the glass you threw at him missed doesn't mean you aren't guilty of abuse, it just means you have terrible aim.

[What-2-Do]

Things will only get worse between the two of you. A VERY BAD SITUATION. You obviously shouldn't have thrown a glass at him as he could use that and say he acted in self defense. That said, even if my wife threw a glass at me and hit me I wouldn't put my hands on her.

 

This will only escalate over time and will get worse and not better.