Best friend's girlfriend is jealous of me?

[SwimmingTurtle]

My best friend's girlfriend isn't letting him speak to me outside of school. I understand how she may feel jealous as we do speak a lot and we have a very close friendship. However, she (Best friend's GF) and I used to be very close friends until she moved away and now we don't speak as much but i still feel like she should trust me enough to not try anything. She's never expressed her concerns about our friendship (strictly platonic) to me I guess in fear of coming off like a crazy girlfriend but I feel like since she's making him cut off communication with me, I should of at least been told that she wasn't super comfortable with me talking to him as much as I do (had I known she was uncomfortable I definitely would've backed off because I didn't know I was crossing a line).

I am seriously conflicted on how I should feel about this because she expected him to completely cut me off with no explanation and make me believe I had done something wrong (which I had but he cleared it up by saying "K isn't that comfortable with us talking so now I can only speak to you during school"). I personally don't understand why she is making him do this because she knows I have feelings for someone else. He also sent me a few screenshots of her talking about this situation and she kind of tried to villainize me by telling him things like how I am trying to take him away and that I even told her personally I was gonna steal him (which I did NOT). I honestly feel like I should be more defensive about this because he is one of my very close friends which i completely trust and I don't want it to end because she's uncomfortable with how close we are. I really need advice on how to go about this issue because I don't want our friendship to have these super strict rules about how I should talk to him and when.

[independentwoman]

My best friend's girlfriend isn't letting him speak to me outside of school. I understand how she may feel jealous as we do speak a lot and we have a very close friendship. However, she (Best friend's GF) and I used to be very close friends until she moved away and now we don't speak as much but i still feel like she should trust me enough to not try anything. She's never expressed her concerns about our friendship (strictly platonic) to me I guess in fear of coming off like a crazy girlfriend but I feel like since she's making him cut off communication with me, I should of at least been told that she wasn't super comfortable with me talking to him as much as I do (had I known she was uncomfortable I definitely would've backed off because I didn't know I was crossing a line).

I am seriously conflicted on how I should feel about this because she expected him to completely cut me off with no explanation and make me believe I had done something wrong (which I had but he cleared it up by saying "K isn't that comfortable with us talking so now I can only speak to you during school"). I personally don't understand why she is making him do this because she knows I have feelings for someone else. He also sent me a few screenshots of her talking about this situation and she kind of tried to villainize me by telling him things like how I am trying to take him away and that I even told her personally I was gonna steal him (which I did NOT). I honestly feel like I should be more defensive about this because he is one of my very close friends which i completely trust and I don't want it to end because she's uncomfortable with how close we are. I really need advice on how to go about this issue because I don't want our friendship to have these super strict rules about how I should talk to him and when.

 

Did she hold a gun to his head or lock him in a cage so he couldn't speak to you? If he isn't speaking as much to you that's his choice and honestly, I wouldn't want my guy spending a lot of time talking to another woman friend or not and I would expect him to respect me enough to understand that.

[SwimmingTurtle]

Did she hold a gun to his head or lock him in a cage so he couldn't speak to you? If he isn't speaking as much to you that's his choice and honestly, I wouldn't want my guy spending a lot of time talking to another woman friend or not and I would expect him to respect me enough to understand that.

 

It's more of a choose her (they've been in a relationship for about two years now and I've never spoken ill of her or them) or me kind of situation and I do understand her feelings behind this but I also feel like she could have just told him to stop talking to me as much than not at all. I don't know, I think I'm just going to talk to him as minimally as I can until this all blows over as I respect her feelings. I just didn't want to lose a good friendship over something that doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

[bachdude]

This issue of friendships with the opposite sex in relationships comes up alot here at LS.

 

 

I think you need to be realistic, OP. A lot of people will not tolerate their SO having such a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex, unless the person is homely. And even then it may not fly.

 

 

Think about it, would you want your BF confiding in a female friend, building an emotional bond with her, especially if she were hot?

 

Maybe you wouldn't but if you didn't, you'd be much further along the path of enlightenment as a Zen master Buddhist monk than many other women.

 

 

Most see this as a huge, potential threat to their relationship with their BF, who fell for them by wearing a mini skirt and low cut shirt as they spent time together.

 

 

So in the end, it's really up to your guy friend. But more then likely his priory will be with his GF.

[Foreverever421]

Spend that time talking to the guy you are attracted to. When you and him are officially together and more stable, then you can spend more time together as a couple with your guy friend and K.

 

Everyone is your friend until you become competition. You are competing with his gf for his time and attention, even though it may only be platonic.

[smackie9]

This is how it is a lot of the time. She left it up to him to explain...if he didn't he's really not much of a friend, and that he was an orbiter. He probably told her he had feelings for you so she put her foot down because of this emotional attachment is not appropriate when in a relaitonship. You are young, and when you are older, you will get what I am saying.

 

What are you supposed to do? Make more than one friend and be a part of a social group instead of being so emotionally dependent on one person.

[lolablue17]

If my wife would be jealous with a female friend of mine (which is\was always only friendship) and would asked me to reduce the amount of contact with her, i'd be OK with it and agree because I love and respect my wife.

 

But I would not agree for her to dictate rules like - Only at school, or to do it without explanation. If she had, I would have asked my wife to respect me, to let me decide about my preferences, as long as i promise to reduce contact.

 

And if my wife would lie to me (Like saying that my friend admitted wanting to steel me, whuile she didn't), well, i don't marry liars, and I can't imagine marrying a woman that can do that.