Deyndrael Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 So I met this gal in November and we hit it off really quickly and started dating at the start of December. I'll be seeing her for the first time EVER on the 20th and I'm getting all the usual WHAT IFS, is there any way to kinda stop feeling this way? I've even talked to her about it and she told me not to worry at all but I still worry. Is there any general tips you guys could give me, any good experiences/bad experiences? Am I just worrying over nothing? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 I mean, it's bound to happen. You've built this expectation and tons of mental images of how things are supposed to be. And now that it's actually going to happen you're worried that those images in your head aren't going to match up. Big hint, they probably aren't. Just go with the flow. You're already make a big step to go visit her. I don't have any particular experiences to share, but I wish you the best and a great time! Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 So I met this gal in November and we hit it off really quickly and started dating at the start of December. I'll be seeing her for the first time EVER on the 20th and I'm getting all the usual WHAT IFS, is there any way to kinda stop feeling this way? I've even talked to her about it and she told me not to worry at all but I still worry. Is there any general tips you guys could give me, any good experiences/bad experiences? Am I just worrying over nothing? Slow down there cowboy. You and this girl have not been dating. You have been talking for about 8 weeks. You are going to really meet for the first time. That's all. You owe each other nothing. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Slow down there cowboy. You and this girl have not been dating. You have been talking for about 8 weeks. You are going to really meet for the first time. That's all. You owe each other nothing. Bingo. It always puzzles me how people who have never been on one single date consider themselves to be "dating." I don't get it. OP, view this as meeting a nice girl for the first time. You two have already placed the bar way too high by declaring yourself a couple yet having spent zero time together in person. This isn't wise. Where will you be staying when you visit her? I realize it's probably all arranged by now, but I would strongly advise you against staying with her. Wait and see if the two of you mesh in person first. Essentially, you are right to be wondering about the "what-ifs"; that is your logic and rational mind talking to you. You don't know her very well. Take this much more slowly and see how you feel after having spent time together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deyndrael Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Thanks for the advice! I don't really think I'm expecting too much from it and believe we'll do fine together? But I wasn't really the one that decided we were "dating" before we even met, she kinda just made it happen so I kinda just followed along with it. I know it's nothing tangible at the moment but when we meet we'll see if we can actually work out. I'll be saying at a hotel by myself so I won't be staying with her. I guess we're setting the bar pretty high in thinking we'll just 100% totally hit it off but I suppose time will see in 4 days. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I wish you the best. People are never how you imagine them to be. Eight weeks is a lot of time to develop a fantasy and clearly you both have entered the realm of fantasy since you consider yourselves a couple when you haven't met. After several disappointments I decided I would always meet new dating prospects from online as soon as I was reasonably sure she wasn't an ax murderer. I consider 8 days a a huge investment in someone I haven't met yet. It's hard to imagine eight weeks. You will likely be under some psychological pressure to preserve this investment by liking her in person because of it. Hope that won't cloud your judgment. Again, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deyndrael Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I think that is probably true but I feel like we get along really well online like REALLY well (I know it doesn't mean anything at all.) but I just have a gut feeling that everything will turn out just fine. She's one of the first people I've felt comfortable with in years (I've tried talking to people online and in person many times before.) and she feels the same way, so I'm feeling pretty positive even if we're "living a fantasy" because we're "dating" before we've even met. The thing is we consider us both an item but we're not so stupid to believe what we have is a real relationship at the moment. I feel when we get together it'll just spark like we did when we first started talking and when we see that we're both real THEN we'll actually start dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 So I met this gal in November and we hit it off really quickly and started dating at the start of December. I'll be seeing her for the first time EVER on the 20th and I'm getting all the usual WHAT IFS, is there any way to kinda stop feeling this way? I've even talked to her about it and she told me not to worry at all but I still worry. Is there any general tips you guys could give me, any good experiences/bad experiences? Am I just worrying over nothing? Be a gentleman and treat her like a lady. Link to post Share on other sites
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