reozeno Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I got quite a problem, which is being too superficial. Recently, i set up Tinder account to find a few date and i manage to get some. One of my match surprisingly great to talk to. Let's say her name is Nana. Somehow the chemistry is insane. i feels like we have known each other for a long time. We exchange number and have been having a long hours call chat occasionally and we text almost daily. Naturally we set up a meet up and we met. And.....im upset bout her looks. It's not that she's ugly just that im being superficial. Which is ridiculous. i have this problem for a very long time. I thought when i met Nana, ill change because im very happy with what we do and man...the chemistry is amazing. It's a traits that i hate about myself and i hope i can change it. If it helps, i am inexperience in relationships. I mean i never been in many serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 You are inexperienced with relationships because you haven't yet figured out that while appearance is important, it isn't everything. With experience dating and meeting new people, you quickly learn that it is who a person is that is most important. This is the wisdom of growing up and getting older. The good news for you is that it's not hard to over come, you just simply have to decide to place more focus on getting to the know the whole person and appreciating that person for everything that they are... Physical appearance being just one of the things that you consider when meeting and forming a relationship with someone new. Focusing on appearance and being superficial is a sure fire way to keep yourself out of the dating game and thus safe from being hurt... At some point, you have to take the chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I had a fun and amazing connection with every other man I spoke with online. It's just 'air', a 'fantasy world', it means nothing until you meet so next time don't get any hope from those online 'connection'. If there is nothing repulsive about this woman, if you still had a good time meeting her than just go on a second date. It's not marriage it's just a second date at this point. You might find you're having a good time and what bothered you initially don't bother you so much after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I got quite a problem, which is being too superficial. Recently, i set up Tinder account to find a few date and i manage to get some. One of my match surprisingly great to talk to. Let's say her name is Nana. Somehow the chemistry is insane. i feels like we have known each other for a long time. We exchange number and have been having a long hours call chat occasionally and we text almost daily. Naturally we set up a meet up and we met. And.....im upset bout her looks. It's not that she's ugly just that im being superficial. Which is ridiculous. i have this problem for a very long time. I thought when i met Nana, ill change because im very happy with what we do and man...the chemistry is amazing. It's a traits that i hate about myself and i hope i can change it. If it helps, i am inexperience in relationships. I mean i never been in many serious relationship. When I met my SO, I thought he was just kinda cute. Now I find him extremely handsome That started within a month or so. The attraction grew with the emotional investment . . . I went on dates with guys I found to be handsome at the onset, but when they opened their mouths, they became unattractive quickly . . . Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Haven't you have heard of "but she has a nice personality......." Attraction is a package deal...emotional AND physical. You are not being shallow or superficial, you are being realistic. Women are waaaay more lenient about appearance than men are when it comes to physical attraction. Not surprising at all by the responses. So don't feel you should be obligated because it's the "right thing to do". You are not physically attracted to her, not a crime. If she didn't find you attractive she probably would bail on you too. It is what it is. Friend zone it is........ Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 When I met my SO, I thought he was just kinda cute. Now I find him extremely handsome That started within a month or so. The attraction grew with the emotional investment . . . I went on dates with guys I found to be handsome at the onset, but when they opened their mouths, they became unattractive quickly . . . Bang on! This is it. Link to post Share on other sites
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