I prayed to God, found her, but is hasn't worked out.

[Mrlonelyone]

Part of why it is so hard for me to let go of M is because she came to me like and answer to a prayer. I know that sounds corny and pathetic as we are not together but please hear me out.

 

The summer before we really saw eachother and felt a spark I fasted very strictly for Ramadan. At the end I said the most earnest prayer of my life, kneeling in my garden. God I don't care what they look like, what gender they are what sex they are whatever you will for someone like me I submit. Reveal to me a mate and companion in life or if you will me to be alone for life I submit to that too....for you are most benefecent and ever merciful. .... Or something like that in Arabic.

 

After that I felt sure I didn't care if I met anyone anymore and ... there she was. Someone who ticked every box on my checklist. A biologically female counterpart to myself who's few imperfections I found easy to forgive and with whom I just clicked.

 

Thinking about how we have been while broken up the long periods of no contact and the few times we have had contact that at our worst it hasn't been as bad as some people have it in a relationship.

 

Just to write this has made me feel so much like a weight off my chest.

[losangelena]

Back when I used to go to church, I encountered this a lot.

 

Relationships would last far too long, or a dumped guy would just be bewildered because they were convinced that god had brought the woman into their lives, so how could it not work out?

 

I don't know what the answer is. I no longer believe that kind of stuff is god-ordained. To those who do believe, I suppose I'd say that breakups can be part of god's plan, too.

 

Sorry you're hurting, though.

[Mrlonelyone]

Back when I used to go to church, I encountered this a lot.

 

Relationships would last far too long, or a dumped guy would just be bewildered because they were convinced that god had brought the woman into their lives, so how could it not work out?

 

I don't know what the answer is. I no longer believe that kind of stuff is god-ordained. To those who do believe, I suppose I'd say that breakups can be part of god's plan, too.

 

Sorry you're hurting, though.

 

Thanks for your reply. I wish it were that simple. I wish it were so one sided then it would be easy. Just get over it and move on. It is her reaching out to me but for various reasons it not being possible for us to be together (different cities, different places in life).

 

If it was all just me pining this would be so simple. I would be in total control and have no reason to doubt it.

 

Oh and anyone who may think I have this person on a pedastal not at all. I've seen just how ugly they can be. There is a school of thought that says you really don't know an SO until you break up at least once. See how they are at their worst.

Edited January 16, 2017 by Mrlonelyone

[normal person]

I wouldn't invoke God into these things (or any things). You have agency over your own life and decisions. In the end, it's all up to you, not anyone else.

 

If you have real world problems, the only thing that will solve them is pragmatic, real world solutions. That's why when you get sick, you go to the doctor rather than just pray to God to make you better (or, you pray to God to help, then go to the doctor for your medicine, then for some reason thank God for helping you get better). That's why there are millions of people living in poverty and absolute misery -- prayer does nothing. If it did anything, the world would be as we want it to be as all we'd have to do would be pray to make it better. But it's very, very, clearly not. The world is insufferable for millions and millions of people despite how much prayer there is.

 

I say this not in hopes of starting a religious debate, but giving you actual advice: things are within your control, not someone/something else's. You have the power to make change, you aren't being held hostage by some guy in the sky who also happens to give babies incurable cancer. There are decisions and actions you can take to get you on the path to your desired results. If you do those things, you can make progress and your prayer or lack thereof will be irrelevant.

 

Go after the things in life that will give you meaning and happiness, don't wait for them to be gifted to you. In the end you'll probably feel better having earned what you wanted through your own perseverance and hard work.

 

Best of luck.

[preraph]

Well, I guess God gave no guarantees how long it would last. I can see why you'd be reluctant to give it up, but remember God also gave you a brain and he intended for you to make most of your own decisions yourself. So do use your brain and remember no one has more control over your fate than you do. But keep giving thanks and stay in touch with spirit. Hang in there and see what happens. Learn whatever you can from the experience.

[mightycpa]

Sounds like you got both things you said you were willing to receive - a mate in life and to be alone.

 

You should be a little more specific in your prayers. Maybe it would be more fruitful if you just ask God to send you a whole bunch of women from whom you can choose a mate?

[Mrlonelyone]

 

Go after the things in life that will give you meaning and happiness, don't wait for them to be gifted to you. In the end you'll probably feel better having earned what you wanted through your own perseverance and hard work.

 

Best of luck.

 

Thanks for the advice. But I didn't and haven't just prayed and moped around. As for all that personal agency.... it takes two to have a relationship. All I can do is get out there and either by God or by chance meet someone.

[Mrlonelyone]

Sounds like you got both things you said you were willing to receive - a mate in life and to be alone.

 

You should be a little more specific in your prayers. Maybe it would be more fruitful if you just ask God to send you a whole bunch of women from whom you can choose a mate?

 

I said I submitted to God's will If that means for me to be alone so be it. Muslims submit to God we don't place orders.