JennaDT Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I'm turning 30 later this year and due to failed past relationships I've noticed I've become very jaded and cynical. I can barely be bothered to date anyone because part of me already assumes it won't work out anyway, so why bother. On the one hand, I'd love to meet someone who likes me just as much as I like him, but on the other hand I don't want to get hurt yet again, so I try to avoid the whole dating scene :/. Anyone else feel the same? Or thoughts on how to get over this :/? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 There is a school of thought that says the only real way to get over being afraid to start a new relationship or fear of commitment and all that ... is to meet someone you really want to try with. I get that right now you are tired of the game. The online dating game, the going out to hook up and all that. So just drop out of it for now. Live life, try those things when you feel like it. When you meet someone you really like you'll be able to try again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Hey, it's hard not to be cynical. Honestly, so much hurt for so little pleasure. You know, the fun times seem brief and then the recovery from the hurt takes forever! Try to look back at any patterns you may have. When I read my journals from my 20s and 30s when I was in my 50s for the first time, I noticed some patterns, some small, that didn't do my relationships any good. Of course, the obvious stuff, but little things like getting too drunk or whatever such that then I poured my heart out and scared them off. I could see looking at the journal that this happened more than once and that if I'd just kept myself contained and not made them think I was in so much deeper than they were, they might have stuck around until they felt like they were more attached too. So make some notes about how you met each one, what talks you had and why and when and what preceded it ending and see if you can isolate anything on your own part that is contributing. Like certainly for most young women, they are overly generous and trusting early on and reluctant to call their new bf on bad behavior and that only sets a precedent that you will continue to accept disrespect and bad behavior. I really don't know any female who didn't make that mistake! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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