Cmeek17 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 So me and my wife have been together for 8 years 4 years married and over our relationship I have contacted my exes/other woman multiple times just text or facebook no physical contact I have cought her twice same man but she is done with that been 2+ years and she has been completely trustworthy I got better over time and was doing good no contact with other females about 6 months ago I had my parents move in and it's went downhill since then she has cought me texting another woman which we worked through then last week she left bc of my parents and her family couldn't get along I messaged a friend of mine telling him I wanted to meet another girl he had been telling me about of course my wife found out and now she is dead set on a divorce I tried to explain to her I messaged him out of anger I know I want to be married to her and only her is there anything I can do to get her back and I know she is on online dating sites such as tinder now but not sure if she is actually talking to another man just looking for tips or things I can do to prove to her I want her back Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Cmeek17, if you'd throw some punctuation into your posts, you'd get more replies. It's awfully hard to tell where one sentence ends and another begins. If I'm reading it correctly, she's caught you texting other women at least 4-5 times. Why on earth would she give you another chance? And why would you feel you deserve one? Mr. Lucky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cmeek17 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Yeah sorry I'm not great at punctuation but I'll give it a shot lol I know I'm not deserving of another chance that is very clear. From the experiences we have been through I know that's the woman I want to be with most definitely.I try not to make excuses or over the top reasons for doing what I did but looking at the last six months with my parents here I think I've found my underlying cause.I am terrible at dealing with stress and already have anxiety issues so when tensions rose in the household I tried to run from them that was the easiest way out it seemed. For a while I thought I honestly wanted a divorce myself but now I know the only thing that changed was my parents moving in I don't need another wife or multiple women to talk to I need the wife I have. My parents are soon to be moving out again I'm hoping that makes it more welcoming for her and raises my chances but trust me as hard as it is to accept I know I don't deserve another chance but I don't feel like I could love another woman or even try to talk to another woman now Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 How will you prove that you won't chase other women? Words are never enough. If you can prove that , I guess then she will take you back. Duh 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I think I've found my underlying cause.I am terrible at dealing with stress and already have anxiety issues so when tensions rose in the household I tried to run from them that was the easiest way out it seemed. Were I your wife, don't think I'd accept this. There's always going to be stress and issues, would she have to worry every time it happens you'll be looking to connect with another woman? You might consider IC to understand why you chose that particular outlet. She may also take some comfort in your ability to employ better strategies and healthy behaviors when problems arise. If you want her to see you differently, you'll have to make changes... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Dude, your parents, your stress. Your other women. All the above are about you. And your wife ? She is also yours but you've tainted the innocent trust for no fault of hers. You are already thinking about how YOU can't love or talk to other women. How about thinking about HER and not you ? If roles were reversed, how would you react and how would you want her to regain the trust and love ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cmeek17 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Thanks a lot Mikeylo I never thought about it like that. That makes more sense than I want it to lol I am trying to give her space right now and just be there when she wants me to it's hard as hell but I think that's the best thing to do for her right now 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Look bud... You have both been cheating. Just end the relationship and get a divorce. It will be better in the long run the way things are going. Link to post Share on other sites
LilyMila Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I think for women, myself included, an emtional affair is worst than a purely physical affair. You are taking the love, emtionl, and intimate details that should have been shared with your wife to other women. That is a deep wound that will probably never heal. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 You need to change how you think about her. She is yours. Treat and take care of her like that. That is only after getting rid of all other rubbish and trash aka other women. Find stuff to do with your wife when stress levels go high.Make her your stress relief woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cmeek17 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Blues power I have been told that by some of my close friends they keep saying it will be better in the long run. On the other hand I know I love her and I know she loves me that has to count for something. Wether it's gone to far or not I have learned now I hate this feeling I have now and I'm ready for it to leave I know it takes time but I don't think time will make me forget how much I love her Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Cmeek17, brother I understand, but let me tell you this. No one on LS actually loves their wife as much as I love mine and she is history. If they don't love you, they don't love you, it is as simple as that. Noting you can do will change that, ever. I have allowed my STBXW to put me through things that no man should have to endure. I did it because I loved her. She has been sleeping around and you want to. That right there should tell you what you need to know. It is just better to end a marriage like this. Get healthy and start fresh. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Yeah sorry I'm not great at punctuation but I'll give it a shot lolMaybe try reading it out loud, and put a period in every time you need to take a breath. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jstar845 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I appreciate you reaching out for support on your marriage. It’s understandable as you stated at the end of your paragraph that you wanted tips to prove to your wife that you want her back. I believe you desire to evaluate yourself and your marriage the reason being you have contacted exes and women through text and facebook. I’m wondering what are your motives when you do this?. On the other hand, you mentioned your wife being on dating websites. Have the two of you communicated to determine what you both want?. Thus, if the two of you desire friendships from other women and men it does work both ways for each of you to do this, and not to have the expectation that only one of you can do it. I wish both of you the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cmeek17 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 I appreciate all of the support you all have offered good and bad. Wether that's for my marriage or my English lol As for now I have gave up on the shortcuts or running away from things I'm not expecting it to be easy. I'm still not ready to give up on my marriage though I believe that it can succeed. But I'm still fully aware that it might be gone as far as the woman and men friends I know I don't want that that was my fix honestly. When I got stressed or a problem came up I always blamed my wife and would turn to the thrill of talking to a new woman. She doesn't want to be on the dating sites she told me she only joined them after she left and it's been a disappointment to her in every aspect Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 You need to clean up big time ! What kind of a friend do you have who gets other girls for you , knowing you have one already ? What kind of women are they , who , once knowing , you are taken , still indulge you ? You are pretty much surrounded by people of low moral values. IF your wife gives you another chance , you need to cut these people out of your life. But do know , they were also thrill seekers like you ( same issues as you ). So , they wouldn't let you dump them that easily. Even if you dump them, they will chase you down. That will not sit well with your reconciliation at all. Even if you tell your wife it's them and not you , it wouldn't work. What she wants to see is a clean man who can walk away from such women and do the right thing. Spice up your life with her. If you have kids , just know , they are watching your behavior and will pick up same from you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cmeek17 Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 It wasn't like that we thought she left me and I was so mad I wasn't communicating with her. That's where the girls came from Link to post Share on other sites
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