CaliforniaGirl Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Has anybody besides me noticed this? First of all: just so's y'all know, I do have three children. All sons. I think they're handsome devils...OTOH, I'm totally over the moon over them so that may be coloring my perception. BUT did you notice that nobody just as "(X amount of) children" anymore? Now, everyone has "three BEAUTIFUL children!" or "two BEAUTIFUL daughters" or whatever. We all know the definition of "average," I'm assuming...and we know that by simple logic, and by the numbers, all or even most children can't be "beautiful." (If they were, then those particular looks would be the new "average.") Nobody's allowed to have a kid who isn't BEAUTIFUL anymore. If you mention your children and don't mention that they're BEAUTIFUL then there's something wrong with you, and you should have your Parenting Card taken away and torn up in front of your face and your average, I mean, beautiful (??) children put into protective services for their own good. Who's for honesty? I'd kill or die to see someone post on Facebook, "Here's me, Dolores...and our three children! Two have big noses and eyes a little too close together and one is kind of a mental stump but we love them." Can you imagine? Seriously, I'd trade my left ovary to see that. Yeah, so.../rant off. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 IDK, I've been around awhile and can't really say it's ever been much different, except now it's everywhere due to instant communication and instead of dragging out the family photo albums and slide or movie projector, people gush on Instagram or Facebook or whatever and the whole world is an audience, not just family and friends. The tricky part is balance so there's enough humility, and backbone, to suffer the brutality of peer integration where opinions, and expressing them verbally and physically, vary widely! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliforniaGirl Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 IDK, I've been around awhile and can't really say it's ever been much different, except now it's everywhere due to instant communication and instead of dragging out the family photo albums and slide or movie projector, people gush on Instagram or Facebook or whatever and the whole world is an audience, not just family and friends. The tricky part is balance so there's enough humility, and backbone, to suffer the brutality of peer integration where opinions, and expressing them verbally and physically, vary widely! Good point about the family albums! OMG, forgot all about that...and the dad taking out his billfold and like a hundred baby pictures would spill down from those plastic fold-out photo holders... You do have a point. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Well an acquaintance told me they had a 13 year old son. Never said anything about how he looked. I met him and he looked like a little Prince Charming. Just gorgeous. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Now, everyone has "three BEAUTIFUL children!" or "two BEAUTIFUL daughters" or whatever. I don't think that parents are necessarily referring to looks or outer appearances when they mention the 'beauty' of their children. At the same time, many years ago, someone said to me, "All kids are cute, didn't you know?" Which is, of course, true...but even 'cute' is not necessarily referring to facial characteristics, I don't think. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliforniaGirl Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I don't think that parents are necessarily referring to looks or outer appearances when they mention the 'beauty' of their children. At the same time, many years ago, someone said to me, "All kids are cute, didn't you know?" Which is, of course, true...but even 'cute' is not necessarily referring to facial characteristics, I don't think. When peeking at other people's babies, my grandma had a pat comment: "Now THAT'S a baby!" The fact was inarguable and in case the kid looked like Harry Truman she didn't have to actually lie. Looking at "beauty" as an inward thing, my children are indeed beautiful. I don't generally introduce them in that way, though. I allow their qualities to speak for themselves, I don't feel the need to drill them home to other parents. My boys are sweet-natured, funny, and are gentlemen. I don't say these things, generally (though I am here since you can't see them)...I let others say them, if they wish, or not, if they wish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm wondering if this is more about the friends you have. My FB feeds and real life have many young families, but none openly describe their children as 'beautiful'. Many other adjectives LOL but not beautiful. That said, I think the reason we are so struck with how wonderful they are is part of that primal love thing. It stops us from putting them out in the snow to die when they are driving us nuts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliforniaGirl Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm wondering if this is more about the friends you have. My FB feeds and real life have many young families, but none openly describe their children as 'beautiful'. Many other adjectives LOL but not beautiful. That said, I think the reason we are so struck with how wonderful they are is part of that primal love thing. It stops us from putting them out in the snow to die when they are driving us nuts. ^ I wondered what's been holding me back this whole time!! *** ...anyway...I'd say it's mostly on social media and forums that I see this. But perhaps it's family as well. I clearly recall (and still kind of laugh about...because I'm a mean, bad daughter-in-law, I guess) when my husband's cousin left her marriage and the children (she did not want to be the custodial parent), and my MIL was telling me the story...I clarified, sadly, "Oh, she has three children?" and my MIL CORRECTED me, seriously, she leaned forward to clarify this, "Three BEAUTIFUL children." So I said before I could stop myself, "Oh, if they were ugly it wouldn't have been sad or anything?" At least it gave her pause... ...but I mean...really. What THE HELL did the children's "beauty" have to do with that? At all? They were ABANDONED. That wasn't the important part of the story??? I mean cheese and crackers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm wondering if this is more about the friends you have. My FB feeds and real life have many young families, but none openly describe their children as 'beautiful'. Many other adjectives LOL but not beautiful. That said, I think the reason we are so struck with how wonderful they are is part of that primal love thing. It stops us from putting them out in the snow to die when they are driving us nuts. After writing this, I just saw a LS poster describe their children as beautiful I think in this context, it's a word which expresses our love for them as people. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 People like being immortal and kids are as close as we're going to get, physically anyway. My version now is getting sent videos of grandchildren and great grandchildren doing some activity or reciting something with newfound words or whatever. People gush. Guys have some kid to leave their cars and guns to 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 My kid is beautiful.....stunning, actually...I have had people stop me in the street and tell me/her....ever since she was little... But its no surprise....That's true of all of us Italians... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
noelle303 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Well people do tend to be a little dramatic when speaking about their children, so often on social media I'll see things like ''Words can't express the love!'' and ''So perfect!''. I mean, I know it's all true and your own child is really the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, but sometimes people really like to over-emphasize. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 My kid is beautiful.....stunning, actually...I have had people stop me in the street and tell me/her....ever since she was little... But its no surprise....That's true of all of us Italians... TFYI have an Italian stomach, does that count? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 You know, actually, just the other day, my 14 year old son was complaining about his looks. My wife, being the motherly type, heaped praise upon him, telling him how handsome he is. It's what parents to, not because they're actually beautiful, or even beautiful on the inside. It's just the tendency of most people to see nothing but the good in them, because they've seen it since the beginning. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 My kid is beautiful.....stunning, actually...I have had people stop me in the street and tell me/her....ever since she was little... But its no surprise....That's true of all of us Italians... TFY I have one son like that (he's not Italian tho.) we get stopped in the street by strangers to tell me/him how good looking he is since he was a baby. He has dark curly hair, stunning green eyes, very full lips and olive skin. My other son is average looking (blue eyes, mousy hair, fair skin and freckles) and slightly envious of his brothers looks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Funny story.... Me and two other guys were standing outside of one of the guys place of business, just shooting the shyt...I know both guys, but the two other guys really didn't know each other... So up comes this young woman and she saunters up to us...She has the "whole package", so to speak....So, one of the guys(my buddy that doesn't know the other guy) says to both of us, (before she gets within earshot), something to the effect of "damn, what I wouldn't do to HER, what a smoking piece of ass!".... I jab the guy in the ribs with my elbow, and inform him that the girl making her way to us(who was probably 19-20 at that time) that he just commented on, was the other guys kid!!! Her dad laughed it off...He was cool with it...He just said "well, what can I say"??... Ooops!..... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 People like being immortal and kids are as close as we're going to get, physically anyway. Yeah...I'm not sure why people take being fertile and having the ability to bring children into this world as having anything at all do with their own personal-individual immortality . Nevertheless, I think it's part of good parenting to express our own sense of who they are as beautiful, loving, compassionate little persons - not the least of which so that they can know and hear out loud who they are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 If people tell their children they're beautiful often enough, along with other compliments, that impels, they often hope, a sense of duty to care. One thing I was often asked by married friends was, heh, no kids who's going to take care of you when you get old? My answer, me until I can't, then I die, not much different than them, accentuating the point Ronni_W makes about immortality. Perhaps transmute that to 'legacy', then it could fly. People like leaving a legacy, a mark on the world. Kids are a mark on the world; a crap-shoot, sure, but still the chance at their name counting in history somewhere. No kid, whatever you got, you got and it is what it is. Didn't invent the wheel no soup for you in planet history. Kids are great. They give one's legacy a chance. That's pretty cool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 If people tell their children they're beautiful often enough, along with other compliments, that impels, they often hope, a sense of duty to care. Hmmm... Except for the pathological few, I don't think that applies to most parents, though. I think that 99.1% of parents lavish their children with love and praise out of a genuine sense of love, and a genuine desire for the children's happiness and well-being - not out of motives that are mercenary or based on self-interest. Similarly, the desire/need to 'leave a legacy' most often, in my view, comes from an egotistical drive rather than love-based inspiration. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I hope you're right. That's not my experience in life. I have noticed, though, that the gushing generally ends right around the time that rebellion begins, when the child asserts their independence and autonomy. It then resumes a bit when the child is of reproductive age and further progeny are on the menu. Most of my generation is now into great grandchildren so I've seen the cycle repeated a couple times. Then there's the advertising on vehicles. Oh, my.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 I have a friend who send pictures of her baby to me and comments, "Isn't he sooooo cute? Isn't he the cutest??" and it's like this ALL OF THE TIME. She claims that he should be a baby model. It's annoying but I just smile and nod my head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliforniaGirl Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 All interesting answers. I wonder if "isn't s/he beautiful" slows down during teen years not due to their being rebellious, but because it might seem more like, well, semi-pimping at that stage? (Not to be coarse about it.) I mean that's not what it would ACTUALLY be, certainly, but pushing your 15-year-old daughter in front of people to say "look at my BEAUTIFUL daughter, here, let me show you a picture of her from another angle too" would just be...weird. I hug my kids all the time and tell THEM they're wonderful and gorgeous. I don't really pimp them on social media to tell OTHERS the kids are gorgeous, necessarily, though I do share with a *very small* circle of *actual* family and friends (my FB Friends list is very small, on purpose) when something new happens with them. I usually focus more on what the kids are actually doing and whether they're happy rather than "this is my beautiful child doing X". I do call the kids out on their teenager-ness, though. I grabbed my 13-year-old the other day for a smooch and went, "Eew! You smell. Put on deodorant! By the way. Give me a kiss, dude!" and then I did smooch him and he just laughed. (My poor kids...) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethIII Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 My cousin is like this. I am a proud mommy to two BEAUTIFUL BABES who I love SOOOOOO much they are SOOOOO perfect. I get so sick of it. Photos photos photos photos and sickly comments. The beautiful babes are now 15 and 12 and too old for this! Looking objectively, without parent rose tinted specs, the older one is pretty, the younger one has a massive forehead, looks like she is balding because of it and teeth like a horse: too big for her mouth! Lol. I am mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 FINALLY! Someone else in this world has noticed and is willing to call attention to the BS (even if only online.) Bleh. I get so tired of seeing ill-tempered, undisciplined, squalling brats everywhere... and parents who are either oblivious or accepting of it. Whatever happened to childcare/babysitters/grandparents? I wonder why it is that when I go out to a nice restaurant with my GFs, I have to put up with crying and shrieking along with the meal. It seems that parents feel they have the right to inflict this noise on everybody around them, along with all the photos in emails and on social media. No, there is very little that is beautiful about many of children I see. A quiet, disciplined child is beautiful, no matter their looks. All it takes is discipline, and parents who discourage outbursts in public. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Well it's certainly a choice to see the negative and call it true...Or see only the roses without the thorns. I smell a rose while knowing the thorns protect the petals to bloom. That to me is how I can say a person is beautiful.. and it be true. I worked with patients with skin burns...Lost limbs...Or malformities... To the naked eye..Unpleasant vision. To my eye.. a person defying the superficial meaning of beauty and redefining it. Yup, they were beautiful . 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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