What do you do when what you like is seemingly unattainable.

[ZA Dater]

Many years ago when I was studying, I did so with a specific objective in mind and for years I always believed I could do it. Lately the reality has hit me that its improbable at best and impossible at worst.

 

How do you reconcile that, especially when you spent so much time working toward it, sacrificed so much to try and attain that.

 

In short how do you do deal with disappointment, so much of my life is disappointment and so much has been lived vicariously which has meant when I actually sit down and look at me I see achievements but nothing what actually gets me what I ultimately want.

 

I just look around me and I wonder what I did wrong which everyone else seemed to have done right.

 

How do you reshape your thinking to reconcile this? Do you fundamentally change your life?

 

Do you set other lesser targets? Do you tell yourself you would be happy with something lesser even if you aren't?

 

All these questions are open ended really and open to huge interpretation.

 

I guess for me the band aid for this is to try and help other people get what they want.

[thecrucible]

I feel like you. There's ambitions I've wanted to achieve but I haven't managed to do it so I feel a lot of disappointed over this. I wish I could have an answer for you. All I know is I feel much more motivated to keep going when I give myself a pat on the back for achieving small goals because over time they add up to something more and hopefully step by step I'll come somewhat close to where I want to be.

[RecentChange]

My vision for myself, my goals etc have never been tied to achieving specific objectives.

 

My goal, since I was fairly young was to be happy and content.

 

My biggest role model in my life is my father. He has always been a hard worker, and made many sacrifices to provide for his family, but always stressed "work to live, never live to work".

 

While he pushed me to do well in school, if it was a beautiful bright sunny day, he would say "let's play hookie!" And we would skip school and work, and go on wonderful adventures - road trips with no plans etc.

 

While work was important, so was making time for joy.

 

My goals have been:

 

Make time to enjoy the outdoors and wonder of nature.

 

Foster a passion which ignites a child like joy in my heart (for me it's horses, something I have been dedicated to for decades)

 

Connect with people and curate life long relationships.

 

Have a career that includes mental stimulation, respect, amble room for advancement, plus pays enough so I have the time and the funds to enjoy the three goals above.

 

For me, my dream is simple, and largely in my control.

 

I know for instance my good friend expresses sorrow that she isn't where she envisioned herself to be by the age of x.

 

I never had such a vision, and thus have never failed to reach it.

 

So perhaps rather than focusing on quantitative goals - what about qualitative? A certain lifestyle, or a level of contentment?

[ZA Dater]

My vision for myself, my goals etc have never been tied to achieving specific objectives.

 

My goal, since I was fairly young was to be happy and content.

 

My biggest role model in my life is my father. He has always been a hard worker, and made many sacrifices to provide for his family, but always stressed "work to live, never live to work".

 

While he pushed me to do well in school, if it was a beautiful bright sunny day, he would say "let's play hookie!" And we would skip school and work, and go on wonderful adventures - road trips with no plans etc.

 

While work was important, so was making time for joy.

 

My goals have been:

 

Make time to enjoy the outdoors and wonder of nature.

 

Foster a passion which ignites a child like joy in my heart (for me it's horses, something I have been dedicated to for decades)

 

Connect with people and curate life long relationships.

 

Have a career that includes mental stimulation, respect, amble room for advancement, plus pays enough so I have the time and the funds to enjoy the three goals above.

 

For me, my dream is simple, and largely in my control.

 

I know for instance my good friend expresses sorrow that she isn't where she envisioned herself to be by the age of x.

 

I never had such a vision, and thus have never failed to reach it.

 

So perhaps rather than focusing on quantitative goals - what about qualitative? A certain lifestyle, or a level of contentment?

 

A very inspiring post!

 

 

The issue is for me working through the fact qualitative and the extent of the need for quantitative to achieve that.

 

 

You bring so many good points in the above, thank you for that. I always like to think if you have good experiences then a lot of things can fall into place.

 

 

Unfortunately I sometimes just look around and feel a profound sense of emptiness. I have done things well, many of them but somehow I have a sense of just being me. Disappointment and loneliness aren't the best of friends.