Dreieinigkeitsmoses Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 For starters, I am 20 (21 in a few weeks), in college, and play in a rock band. In general my life is good, but there is one thing which continues to trouble me. To this day, I am still a virgin and have never really had a serious girlfriend, and I am sick and tired of it. I believe that I am becoming too old to still be in this situation, and lately I have been worrying that time is running out to try and fix this problem before it’s too late. Still being this way makes me feel terribly insecure, and I want this year to be the one in which I put an end to this once and for all. I have told myself that if I remain single and a virgin when I turn 22 then I will give up on the whole prospect forever. I have had some limited amount of experience with girls, though none I consider worthwhile. Starting when I was 19, I have gone out with three girls, but nothing worked out. The first two both stopped hanging out with me after about a week or so because I was so inexperienced and insecure. The third was around longer and was really into me, but I wasn’t really attracted to her so I broke it off before things got serious. All three of them approached me first and the farthest I got with any of them was third base. I still have yet to find a girl with whom I have a genuine connection. I have realized that there are several distinct obstacles which impede me in my bid to end this situation. The first is that I simply have no real way of consistently meeting women. All three girls mentioned in the previous paragraph I met through chance encounters where they approached me. My social circle is very small (I only ever really hang out with the rest of my band), and as a result I haven’t been able to meet girls through mutual friends. Dating sites/apps haven’t worked either, and I don’t know what I can do to meet women whom I may be interested in. In addition, I am quite shy around girls, and I believe that this in combination with my level of inexperience will drive them away. Lastly, I feel I am quite strange compared to most people. I don’t really like the whole party scene, I am somewhat introverted and solitary, and my interests/hobbies besides playing music are somewhat unusual as well (I learn ancient languages and brew my own mead for fun, to name two examples). All in all, I want more than anything to finally put a stop to all of this. I really don’t want to be single for yet another year, but I have no idea what to do and I feel stuck in this situation. Could anyone possibly give me some pointers as to how I can break out of this purgatory and finally find a nice girl? Any advice is much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 How does being in a band not set you up for meeting women? Between/before sets it's a great icebreaker at the bar with women. And college is another great place... I can't imagine it getting any easier than the situation that you are in right now. Also I wouldn't worry too much about your "weird" hobbies. Nerd culture is extremely in right now, and I'm sure you could find lots of women who would think those hobbies were "cool". Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 (edited) You must play bass. Plus, what ^^ he ^^ said. You're in college. You play in front of audiences filled with girls. If you were a bank robber, your day job would be to watch the safe. C'mon man! Edited January 19, 2017 by mightycpa 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dreieinigkeitsmoses Posted January 19, 2017 Author Share Posted January 19, 2017 Even though I'm in a band it hasn't worked like that. My band typically plays until closing, when there's no one left anyway. Even if we do end our sets earlier, I have to help get our equipment back into the van. Also the overwhelming majority of our audiences are men. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 Join a different band. Get different gigs. Go early and mingle before you play. Change something. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Right nothing changes unless some force is applied. Break your routine and maybe something will happen for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
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