Hobart_Carboys Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 Believe it or not, I was married for 4 decades to a woman who began openly flirting with other men (friends, waiters, acquaintances, old boyfriends, etc) in 1995 and continued for many years until I divorced her in 2013. A highly secretive woman, she always denied what she was doing. I told her very clearly several times that her flirting hurt me. She screamed, "I wasn't flirting!" Then I told her it was disrespectful and contemptuous of me. She shouted that I was a barbarian with no sophisticated panache. She would sit by a guy for hours and touch his arm, his face, his hand, or pat his face, smile or laugh at everything, bring him food, etc. Once she lifted her spoon to a man's mouth to feed him some of her cream with blueberries. I was always thinking, "Why, she has never done that with me. She never smiles at me or laughs. We never have fun. She never flirts or offers herself to me. She has never ever tried to be 'hot' with me." The truth is she had never seemed to like me or find me capable of joy or excitement although I'm just naturally so and need but a little encouragement and a woman's desire. She was a yawn in the bedroom, really boring, with a dull imagination and always repetitive but I'm quite sure blamed it all on me, no doubt thinking I didn't satisfy her. But she was completely unwilling to talk or discuss how I might improve my performance for her the Queen, and utterly contemptuous of ever playing a sweet loving woman in the bedroom. Believe me my "demands" there were not very great either. Indeed, she made fun of sweet women who could play and have fun with a man, who knew what sex was all about if it was going to be a part of love and a happy marriage. With her, everything was sophisticated, cool, and really au grande serieux. One day, I discovered I no longer cared for or admired her. This realization took a very long time---fended off I think by my respect for human beings and for her and because we had had children together and "gotten along" for so long. I had fallen out of love-- during a period of her playing a very hot flirt, that was in 2004, when the last child had left home. After that period, I found it very painful to be with her in public as her flirting no longer hurt but made me ashamed. If she was going to flirt or have an affair, I didn't want to know about it, but we went out at least once a week.... In our 39th year, I began preparing very carefully my departure. I had tried hundreds of times to discuss things--to no avail. She always shouted, yelled, shrieked, ridiculed, jeered, etc. She had no soft tender feelings for me, and never ever had tears in her eyes or cried, like other women might do or be capable of, but she had married me because I was good-looking, gentle, and very well-read---the superficial things held us together after our children had gone. In the final year, she made so many trips alone that I thought it was wonderful to have a way of preparing because she was gone. So I packed up. Lots of packing. Returning from her 7th trip that year alone, she found herself served with the divorce papers and me, faraway, with a new woman. My new wife loves me to death and we have sex sometimes 3 times a day and enjoy life and with laughter and smiles and lots of affection. We're in our 70's now. I regret all those wasted years I spent with a wife who didn't enjoy me, who rejected me, who flirted and treated me with contempt. The day I left, I felt 17 years old, driving off in my car, piled high with my things to seek once more in life one of things I had always wanted and missed---- a woman who loved and greatly desired me and gave me all the love she could in return. Basically, everyone wants to achieve all they possibly can--then, not achieving it, they abandon their dreams. I had three dreams: of work, knowledge, love. I've achieved the dream of love, although I'm nearing the end of my life. I've achieved it in a fantastically satisfying way, too. If you're miserable with your spouse who is always thwarting you, it's not to late to leave him or her to find someone who wants you to be happy. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ZippyTacticus Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 (edited) Your story is incredible. Thanks for sharing. They should make a movie about this. Edited January 21, 2017 by ZippyTacticus 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CloudyHead Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Great story! I'm happy it worked out well for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Have to ask, what the conversation was like with the ex after she returned to the empty home? Link to post Share on other sites
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