ExpatInItaly Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Thanks for the replies I know I need to go NC it's been 3 days since we last talk and I don't plan on communicating with her soon I know I'm hurting alot less then i was the pass few weeks and thing should only get better Should i keep her on fb without talking to her? Just so sees what i am up to and make her think that she could be doing these things with me? Do I go nc until i know im good, and then find a reason to contact her without talking about us? Nah, because if she's dating someone else, she won't be paying much attention to you what you're doing anyway. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. Go No Contact and keep it that way unless and until she contacts you to talk reconciliation. Otherwise, you're only going to prolong your own heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Only stay connected on FB if you have the discipline to unfollow her and not peek at what she is up to. You will drive yourself crazy otherwise. Most people don't have the discipline. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Now all she's ever going to want is to be just friends with you. Don't agree to that unless you can see yourself dating other women while just being friends with her. She's made it clear she doesn't feel romantically about you anymore. I'm sorry. It's happened to all of us one time or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) Thanks i removed the follow from fb but decided to leave her as friend for a little while i know she looks at what i do and with whom she always mention it when we talk <Go No Contact and keep it that way unless and until she contacts you to talk reconciliation > if she contact me do plain ask her if she wants to talk about us and if she doesn't i say i dont have time to talk right now but you can contact me when or if you want to talk about you and i? Edited January 23, 2017 by Glenfiddich Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Thanks i removed the follow from fb but decided to leave her as friend for a little while i know she looks at what i do and with whom she always mention it when we talk <Go No Contact and keep it that way unless and until she contacts you to talk reconciliation > if she contact me do plain ask her if she wants to talk about us and if she doesn't i say i dont have time to talk right now but you can contact me when or if you want to talk about you and i? Yes, precisely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Im getting important medical result tomorrow if she contact to ask what the result were what should i reply? Next week it's her mom's birthday, she really like me and i really like her mother also, i was planning on writting her just to wish her happy birthday that's ok? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Im getting important medical result tomorrow if she contact to ask what the result were what should i reply? Next week it's her mom's birthday, she really like me and i really like her mother also, i was planning on writting her just to wish her happy birthday that's ok? No, I wouldn't write her mom. I know you were once close to them, but she will certainly understand why you're not contacting her. You will sooner or later need to cut ties with them anyway. If your ex asks about your medical test, I would reply honestly about it. The circumstances there are a little different so I don't see the harm in letting her know, should she ask. But I would keep the communication focused on only that. Thank her for remembering and her concern and then exit the conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted January 24, 2017 Author Share Posted January 24, 2017 Thanks although every answer I received from you guys yesterday wre similar to all the ones i read in the last month yeaterday was a but different it kind of open my eyes... and made me realize alot of things... Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I think you're obsessed with her. Stop it, it doesn't make you feeling better. Start NC form just NOW. Unfriend her on FB, and block her. If you don't want to be rude, wait another day so she could ask you about the medical result and answer shortly with 2-3 words "Will be OK" or "Everything's ok, thanks" and then block her number on Whatsapp ot Snapchat and other social media. If she finds you through mail, or somehow, don't answer. Ignore. Let her be wondering what is it with you. Let her be obsessed about you. Move on, forget her. CUT ALL CONTACT NOW! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I think you're obsessed with her. Stop it, it doesn't make you feeling better. Start NC form just NOW. Unfriend her on FB, and block her. If you don't want to be rude, wait another day so she could ask you about the medical result and answer shortly with 2-3 words "Will be OK" or "Everything's ok, thanks" and then block her number on Whatsapp ot Snapchat and other social media. If she finds you through mail, or somehow, don't answer. Ignore. Let her be wondering what is it with you. Let her be obsessed about you. Move on, forget her. CUT ALL CONTACT NOW! Personally I agree with this move HOWEVER id still leave her number and email unblocked, so that if she does contact you someday, you will see it and play it from there. You need some channel open if you want to someday reconcile months or years in the future. But ignore breadcrumbs if they come. Definitely move on with your life though, and allow her to miss you by being a ghost forever unless she crawls back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 (edited) Been in no contact for 6 days it's the firts time ine 2 years that we haven't talk for that long!! Yesterday for the first time in 7 years i added a pic of me on facebook... i received a bunch of like and alot of nice comments, this morning i look at FB and pouff my ex removed me from her friend list... I find it weird.... not that she removed me but that she did on the night i posted a new pic that received comments... Edited January 26, 2017 by Glenfiddich Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Been in no contact for 6 days it's the firts time ine 2 years that we haven't talk for that long!! Yesterday for the first time in 7 years i added a pic of me on facebook... i received a bunch of like and alot of nice comments, this morning i look at FB and pouff my ex removed me from her friend list... I find it weird.... not that she removed me but that she did on the night i posted a new pic that received comments... You are not really in "no contact" if you know she did this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Yesterday for the first time in 7 years i added a pic of me on facebook... That's why she removed you. She probably didn't do it sooner because you were barely active before. Maybe she even suspects you did it do get her attention. Anyway, you can now really start doing NC. No contact isn't just not talking, but also not checking up on her on social media. If you were really doing NC you wouldn't even have noticed that she removed you. You would've done it yourself, or hidden/restricted her at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Hello Long story short my ex girlfriend left me about 2 month ago, very very soon after she started seeing another guy... At first i begged pleaded etc obviously didnt work i did 2 weeks of no contact we texted a bit then i did 3 weeks of very very low contact 2 session of text message of about 4-5 text from both of us and we never talked about our relationship except that on the first session she asked me if i was happy i avoided the question and on the second session i said to her let me ask you what you ask me 3 weeks ago are you happy her answer was i'm just ok, this conversation happen this week Im still in love with that women and if it was my decision i would get back with her, but i'm also trying to move on because i have to Last night i had a date with someone very nice it was not the first time we saw each other we both enjoy being together, we were at this restaurant (its a popular place that my ex and i use to go often, before being with me she didnt know that place) my date and i decided to sit at the bar its more casual we enjoying our time having diner, wine talking laughing flirting. At one point during the night I look further down the restaurant and my ex was there.. with a bunch of friends celebrating something... i know she saw us because i caught her looking our way a couple of time during the night and she probably notice that i was doing the same thing... I tried not to be too flirty with my date after that. We stayed another hour and decided to leave If i would if known she was going to be there i would of went somewhere else with my date Here's my questions What would women think if they were in my ex situation? Should i tried to talk to her last night? Or send her a glass of wine? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Should you have tried to talk to her or send her a glass of wine???? Absolutely not...you state that you're trying to move on and this is exactly what you are doing....great job here. Plus, IMO that would have been disrespectful to your date. If I remember correctly, she pulled the string on your relationship earlier and as you stated, began to date someone else almost immediately. If there is any olive branch to be cast, it is her responsibility to cast it.... Stay NC and focus on the "one you're with" to be the man you want to be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 She dumped you and you're worried about her feelings? Quit trying to live on her breadcrumbs. Go no contact and Go your own way like she has. Weakness is extremely unnattractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 You can't seriously be asking if you should have sent your ex a glass of wine while on a date with a new girl. OP, you are not ready to date. Stay single and heal. Don't even think about taking out other women until this type of "what was my ex thinking?!"-mentality passes. It's just plain unfair to the women and to yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 You can't seriously be asking if you should have sent your ex a glass of wine while on a date with a new girl. OP, you are not ready to date. Stay single and heal. Don't even think about taking out other women until this type of "what was my ex thinking?!"-mentality passes. It's just plain unfair to the women and to yourself. Screw this. Date away. You'll never be 100% ready until you fall for another girl. You should have acted as if she wasn't there. The bonus is she is now going through all kids of turmoil. Women are ok to leave you until they see you with someone else. Good job. Don't be surprised if your ex reaches out. And for gods sake don't send her a glass of wine. If anything lift yours to her and give her a wink. That will drive her nuts 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Yep, your ex may contact you after this. If she does, just ignore her. Remember that she was with a guy immediately after the break up (possibly sooner?). She is the one that needs to come hard at you if she wants you back you don't even respond because there has to be consequences for dumping you. Dumpees make the mistake of making it so easy for an ex to come back. Ex's don't like seeing the other with someone new. Not even the dumper. Sending her a glass of wine would have been the absolute worst thing to do. Just acknowledging she was there is bad enough. Glad that you were there with another girl. Just don't use this girl to get your ex back. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Screw this. Date away. You'll never be 100% ready until you fall for another girl. You should have acted as if she wasn't there. The bonus is she is now going through all kids of turmoil. Women are ok to leave you until they see you with someone else. Good job. Don't be surprised if your ex reaches out. And for gods sake don't send her a glass of wine. If anything lift yours to her and give her a wink. That will drive her nuts God, that would have been perfect! I can picture that now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 Thanks for all the reply, it was a great nighy:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Thanks for all the reply, it was a great nighy:) Good deal. Many (most) here will say you shouldn't date until you are 100% ready. And that you might end up using a girl. Nonesense. You need to date and practice. If a girl is that great she will make you forget all about your ex. If she's not, keep looking. Women will have no issue with you taking them out / having sex with them then dump you out of no where for a variety of reasons. Dating is tough and you have to look out for yourself first. There are no promises on either side. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Tried to talk to her or send her a glass of wine....WHILE YOU WERE OUT ON A DATE?!?!?!?!? No, dude. That would have been so disrespectful to the woman that agreed to spend the evening with you. That CHOSE to be with you because she wanted to. She could have been doing 20 other things that evening, but she chose you. You need to think about that. And I want you to think about something else. You wrote that you broke up and very, VERY soon after the break up, she started to date someone else. Girls normally don't do that....unless that have feelings for that other person. In other words, she was probably cheating on you. Either emotional or physically or both. And she left you to be with this other person. That was her choice. And that evening, you were with a girl that chose YOU! Respect that, dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 Should you have sent her a glass of wine? No way. You were on a date, and you're trying to move on. You shouldn't act in a way that is contradictory to those two things. What you should have done, if possible, was to re-position yourself such that your back would be facing the ex. That way, you wouldn't be as tempted to glance over, and she would have received the unmistakable signal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glenfiddich Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 As predicted by some my ex contacted me on monday after seeing me on a date lasts friday, I didn't answer, she text me again tuesday and I decided to answer her text, she never asked about my date or the women i was with. After 5-6 text I said I'll call you ok? She said yes we talk for about 30 min it got heated when I started talking about something the guy she's seeing did but i believed what she told me her voice was sincere and she was also pissed about what he did, then I hung up as I had to get back to work. She texted an hour after and we exchange multiple text during the afternoon. It continue late during the evening by then we were mostly talking about how well we were together she sent me multiple pictures of us together during the night. At one point I said do you want to grab a coffee tomorrow, she said not because she doesn't want to but she has a busy day, she told me what she had to do seem legit, i said it's ok maybe some other time. The next morning I decided to send her a quick text saying Have a great I really enjoy our talk last night, couple minutes later she replied have a great day too, I also really enjoyed it last night xxx She then continue texting me all morning, at one point i decided to ask to meet again, she agreed and we met during the afternoon. I wasn't planning on talking about us but we eventually did, she told me how she regret doing what she did, it was a big mistake that should of never happen, now she is stuck, she complain about the other guy, i didn't get into it I was just listening what a smirk on my face. After an hour I had to leave. We exchange a couple of text during the night before she disappeared. I know she'll be with the other guy for the rest of the week and weekend, should I text her? Should I just disappear for a couple days and text her next week? What do you guy's think about what happen any advice on what to do next? Link to post Share on other sites
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