Louisesarah Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 Been dating someone for 2 1/2 months now. He lives 40 mins drive from me. He doesn't have a car at the minute but uses his sisters. He works mon-fri 12 hour shifts. When we first met we would see each other twice weekly. We would go out for meals/bowling/cinema. We text daily,he texts good morning and we chat when we can. He used to call me when he had a chance but the past 5 days nothing. We have text on these days. I seen him Thursday night of last week. The last two times he has been over we haven't had Sex,he just fell asleep. He is always tired. Today he hasn't text much either. I asked him the other day if he wasn't interested anymore and he said of course he is he just has a lot on his mind (mum has pneumonia and they've found problems with her heart)also troubles at work. I just don't know ..I want to see more of him A month ago he seemed more keen,talking about meeting his son and now once a week I see him. Saturday night when I had a night out he text me a lot asking if I was home etc Then asked why I was quiet etc So he doesn't like when I don't speak What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 It's a given guys don't express themselves that much, and rather be quiet, or are distracted. He is going through a rough patch in his life....men look for a woman that is patient and supportive. Communication...that is all you need to make this work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 13, 2016 Author Share Posted December 13, 2016 I just wish he showed me the same attention that he used to do Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 2 months in an already in lazy in courting you....its not going to get better from here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 If you are feeling like it then most probably he has and nothing you can do to change it. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted December 13, 2016 Share Posted December 13, 2016 I agree with both smackie AND vevecakes. it's hard but I do think communication is key and some patience but at same time this does strike me as lazy dating. 12 hour days and his other issues but his way of handling isn't great either. Keep an eye on things and don't make up for him being distant. Pull back and re-evaluate in total if he can't be like you want. So you kind of want no pressure and observe. Keep communicating honestly when it comes up or if you feel like you are at a make or break moment for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 He hasn't bothered texting me good morning this morning. No goodnight No idea when I'm seeing him next,hasn't said he's looking forward to seeing me but says that's he's interested. I just don't get it ... Link to post Share on other sites
Sara1989 Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 He hasn't bothered texting me good morning this morning. No goodnight No idea when I'm seeing him next,hasn't said he's looking forward to seeing me but says that's he's interested. I just don't get it ... It sounds like the guy is drifting away. Try not to take it personally as it sounds like he has a lot on his plate, also I would not date a guy ago who lived that far away and does not have a car. Its just a pain all round. I think 2/3 months is a critical time in a new relationship, so if a break up with happen it will usually occur at this stage as people start to think if they want be in an serious relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 I ended up texting him morning He read it and no reply (he is at eo Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 Work but that never stopped him before Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 Been seeing someone a few months..everything ok. He was very lazy and all he wanted to do is lie in bed and watch rubbish on Facebook. Anyway when we were together it was great,he told me he seen a future with me,was really affectionate etc but did tell me he had anger management before. Anyway he was meant to come over Thursday for a meal ..got to Thursday no texts then I sent him a message asking if he was still coming and he said no as he finished work later (basically he wanted to lie in his bed playing computer games ..I'm a 40 min drive) I lost my temper and told him where to go (this isn't the first time he messed me around) He replied saying he was having a hard time with things and thought I would understand ..clearly not. I apologised and no response ... The next day I text asking if we were over he replied 6 hours later saying .."you tell me,your the baby who went in a mood" Once again I apologised and said I still want to see you ....no response He replys 18 hours later "ok" that's it... That evening I tried ringing because I had enough of texting no answer .. He responded nastily "here man I'm busy with my daughter,you caused this by your moods,I've got things on my plate..sorry I can't give you my attention you baby" I've never wanted that ..I just wanted to see him I once again apologise and say I'm here if you need to talk ..no response The next day he calls me..I missed the call I text him apologising and saying my phone was on silent ...no response and no call back. That was yesterday and nothing since He is still looking at my snap chat story I don't get it ..up until then no problems He was a perfect man ,charming sweet etc He has changed over night What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
eightytwenty Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 If he was perfect this whole time, and just didn't want to come over that night, I say you did act like a baby. Sometimes esp after awhile, people just want their alone time or just want to relax. Maybe he was having a hard time and didn't want to go out. You over reacted and give him time, he'll reach out to you again. Link to post Share on other sites
IfonlyIknew Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 Do NOTHING other than run for your life. This guy is extremely emotionally unstable. You deserve better!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 snip *He was a perfect man ,charming sweet etc He has changed over night **What do I do? *He was a perfect man until you found out who he really is. The prince turned into a frog. **You cut all contact and move on. *No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means he might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete him from all social media. *No monitoring of him on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 I hadn't seen him for a week.. He would just go home after work and spend his whole night on Facebook... Felt like he couldn't be bothered .. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 Been seeing someone a few months..everything ok. He was very lazy and all he wanted to do is lie in bed and watch rubbish on Facebook. Anyway when we were together it was great,he told me he seen a future with me,was really affectionate etc but did tell me he had anger management before. Anyway he was meant to come over Thursday for a meal ..got to Thursday no texts then I sent him a message asking if he was still coming and he said no as he finished work later (basically he wanted to lie in his bed playing computer games ..I'm a 40 min drive) I lost my temper and told him where to go (this isn't the first time he messed me around) He replied saying he was having a hard time with things and thought I would understand ..clearly not. I apologised and no response ... The next day I text asking if we were over he replied 6 hours later saying .."you tell me,your the baby who went in a mood" Once again I apologised and said I still want to see you ....no response He replys 18 hours later "ok" that's it... That evening I tried ringing because I had enough of texting no answer .. He responded nastily "here man I'm busy with my daughter,you caused this by your moods,I've got things on my plate..sorry I can't give you my attention you baby" I've never wanted that ..I just wanted to see him I once again apologise and say I'm here if you need to talk ..no response The next day he calls me..I missed the call I text him apologising and saying my phone was on silent ...no response and no call back. That was yesterday and nothing since He is still looking at my snap chat story I don't get it ..up until then no problems He was a perfect man ,charming sweet etc He has changed over night What do I do? He was a perfect man ,charming sweet etc He has been awful to me He was very lazy and all he wanted to do is lie in bed and watch rubbish on Facebook. Those statements above contradict each other . . . I sent him a message asking if he was still coming and he said no as he finished work later (basically he wanted to lie in his bed playing computer games ..I'm a 40 min drive) He has changed over night -- No, he hasn't . . . If you have a "date" with a man who doesn't show up or even bother to call, you don't reach out in any way. You wait until he reaches out to you and for as long as it takes. Then you explain that you were disappointed and did not appreciate not even receiving a call to say that he was going to show up and that if it happens again, it's a deal breaker. (this isn't the first time he messed me around) -- So, now it's time to stop being a doormat and pick the mat up and close the door. Yes, you're being desperate. Do not call or text him again. If he calls you, you tell him you're moving on. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 My birthday is Christmas Eve...my friends have said they think it might be because he didn't want to get me a present ..or take me out for my birthday. He never has any money. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 My birthday is Christmas Eve...my friends have said they think it might be because he didn't want to get me a present ..or take me out for my birthday. He never has any money. It doesn't matter what your friends say, what matters is that this man is lazy with his attention and doesn't demonstrate sincere interest in you and you are chasing him. Let him go. He has "things on his plate" so he's pushing you off the plate instead of making room for you or getting a bigger plate. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 It doesn't matter what your friends say, what matters is that this man is lazy with his attention and doesn't demonstrate sincere interest in you and you are chasing him. Let him go. He has "things on his plate" so he's pushing you off the plate instead of making room for you or getting a bigger plate. Yup. I totally agree. Like no, focus your attention elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 What did I do wrong? Why did he switch on me like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 We literally spoke every day for 11 weeks. Dates every week,he stayed over,we slept together etc I find this so weird Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 What did I do wrong? Why did he switch on me like this? What you did wrong was continue to date a guy who you felt wasn't a good match for you. A guy who was lazy etc. He didn't switch on you. Remember the anger management problem he mentioned? This is simply the first time you've seen it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 What did I do wrong? Why did he switch on me like this? The one thing you did wrong was to enter a relationship with someone that told you before hand that he had anger management problems. When you meet a man (or woman) they are always on their best behavior at first. Then as the weeks go by you start seeing their real self. The big character flaws show under 3 months dating. You need to break up with this man. If he allows himself to be this cruel with you at only 11 weeks dating than you can be sure he'll just get more and more abusive. Abuse always starts slowly with smaller gestures. He starts by being rude to you and if you stay with them then they start to manipulate you, then they threat you, they push you...and you find yourself in a full blown abusive relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 I feel like this is him punishing me..yet I don't think I've done anything wrong. I haven't attempted contact with him today yet he is on Facebook sharing all kinds of immature posts. He is still looking at my snap chat yet can't reply to my text. Him ringing me yesterday and me missing the call then no contact after has got me baffled Why ring me in first place then? Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 Why do you want to be in a relationship with this guy? He sounds lazy and uninterested. Not seeing what the attraction is. It seems like it's a case of you wanting him only because he is rejecting you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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