Calmandfocused Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 I was shocked to see how many times you apologised in your OP. what exactly were you apologising for? For standing your ground when he stood you up (again)? Most people would be upset because of this. You have a right to be annoyed. Unfortunately, the message you've given him now is: "behave how you want and i'll take the blame and apologise for it". No, no and no. What exactly is so attractive about this lazy person? Have you ever been married to one? It's no fun, I can tell you. Pick your self respect off the floor and don't let him disrespect you. A baby? A baby is someone whose needs constant care. Is that you or him? My money's on him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 Btw. Please don't call him. Again, find your self respect. If he wants you, let him do the running. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 (edited) We literally spoke every day for 11 weeks. Dates every week,he stayed over,we slept together etc I find this so weird I doubt that you did anything "wrong" necessarily. But, you say you've been seeing each other for 11 weeks and now he bailed on plans you had. Above you said it wasn't the first time either that he's messed you around. In 11 weeks, if a guy is serious about you, he isn't going to be messing you around a few times. Given his attitude and behavior now, I'd say, he's just not as into you as you seem to think. Who has been doing most of the initiating? Him or you? How did you meet? When did you first sleep together? What do you know about him? This guy has no money, you say, so how many real dates did he take you on? And, when did you start staying at each other's houses instead of going out? All I can say is, the first time a guy has plans with me and doesn't show up or call with a credible reason, he's out. It sounds to me like you've been stringing yourself along and hearing and "seeing" what you want to hear and see. I hadn't seen him for a week.. He would just go home after work and spend his whole night on Facebook... Felt like he couldn't be bothered .. -- Well if that's how a guy is making you feel, don't bother him or with him. I find this so weird -- There's nothing weird about a guy dating a woman and losing interest and vice versa. It's called dating. Whatever is going on in his life is taking priority over you. So be it. Edited December 19, 2016 by Redhead14 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 I doubt that you did anything "wrong" necessarily. But, you say you've been seeing each other for 11 weeks and now he bailed on plans you had. Above you said it wasn't the first time either that he's messed you around. In 11 weeks, if a guy is serious about you, he isn't going to be messing you around a few times. Given his attitude and behavior now, I'd say, he's just not as into you as you seem to think. Who has been doing most of the initiating? Him or you? How did you meet? When did you first sleep together? What do you know about him? This guy has no money, you say, so how many real dates did he take you on? And, when did you start staying at each other's houses instead of going out? All I can say is, the first time a guy has plans with me and doesn't show up or call with a credible reason, he's out. It sounds to me like you've been stringing yourself along and hearing and "seeing" what you want to hear and see. I hadn't seen him for a week.. He would just go home after work and spend his whole night on Facebook... Felt like he couldn't be bothered .. -- Well if that's how a guy is making you feel, don't bother him or with him. I find this so weird -- There's nothing weird about a guy dating a woman and losing interest and vice versa. It's called dating. Whatever is going on in his life is taking priority over you. So be it. He would text me every morning good morning. Ring my during the day. If I didn't speak much he would ask why I wasn't talking and why I was quiet etc. We've been out about 9 dates but paid 50/50 He stayed at mine 5 nights. He told me he seen a future with me,asked if I wanted kids even a week ago he was talking about a Christmas present for me and my plans for NYE. He seemed so interested ..he even told me he's never normally this into someone so early .. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 We met on a dating site. He has 2 kids with different women. 1 he is not allowed to see (didn't tell me why ) Told me about him a few years ago getting anger management Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 19, 2016 Author Share Posted December 19, 2016 We slept together after 4 weeks .... Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 He would text me every morning good morning. Ring my during the day. If I didn't speak much he would ask why I wasn't talking and why I was quiet etc. We've been out about 9 dates but paid 50/50 He stayed at mine 5 nights. He told me he seen a future with me,asked if I wanted kids even a week ago he was talking about a Christmas present for me and my plans for NYE. He seemed so interested ..he even told me he's never normally this into someone so early .. His actions do not support his words. He can tell you anything and everything a woman wants to here, but it needs to be backed up with action/behavior. he even told me he's never normally this into someone so early -- Really? So being into a woman is messing her about a few times in 9 dates? And can't bother to call if he's not going to make it when he had plans with you and indicated he'd rather play games and be on FaceBook? What other things has he done that "messed" you around before this time you posted about? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 We met on a dating site. He has 2 kids with different women. 1 he is not allowed to see (didn't tell me why ) Told me about him a few years ago getting anger management 1 he is not allowed to see (did tell you why) -- getting anger management -- This answers that question . . . The guy has no money because, hopefully, he's paying child support. This guy does have a lot on his plate . . . two baby mamas, two kids and anger issues. Don't make room on your plate . . . What you're seeing in this guy is how it will be forever if this continues. Good luck and you should do a better job of screening potential dating partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 19, 2016 Share Posted December 19, 2016 We met on a dating site. He has 2 kids with different women. 1 he is not allowed to see (didn't tell me why ) Told me about him a few years ago getting anger management 9 dates and he's already asking you if you want kids when he has already got 2 babies mama and when he's not even allowed to see one of them. Listen, a man needs to do something really bad to not be allowed to see his flesh and blood. In worse case scenario the father is allowed to supervised visits, apparently he is not even allowed to that. This is a bad man, period. Why do you want a man like this in your life? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 I feel like this is him punishing me..yet I don't think I've done anything wrong. I haven't attempted contact with him today yet he is on Facebook sharing all kinds of immature posts. He is still looking at my snap chat yet can't reply to my text. Him ringing me yesterday and me missing the call then no contact after has got me baffled Why ring me in first place then? Louisesarah, sometimes people do things which are unfathomable. We will never understand why they do what they do and we only tie ourselves in knots trying. Do not try and understand him. Block his number from your phone. Unfriend and block him from social media. Yes, it's an awful shock...but remind yourself that you weren't exactly enamored with him to start with. He has anger issues, is lazy and you've now seen how obnoxious he can be. Walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 20, 2016 Author Share Posted December 20, 2016 I think he put on a act for the first month. We were always going out for food and drinks and it was lovely. Even when we first met he canceled our very first date when I was already on my way (should of known then) It's winding me up because he is on Facebook and looking at my snap chats. I wish I knew what changed in his head to make him treat me like this? Even if he apologised now I couldn't feel the same anymore ..I would feel like a fool if I went anywhere near him now. I probably shouldn't of snapped but I apologised ..the way he treated me has been far far worse Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 He treated you like this because he believes it's an acceptable way to treat people. Nothing more, nothing less. Why haven't you blocked him on your phone and social media yet? You have the power to not let his actions wind you up - use that power. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 20, 2016 Author Share Posted December 20, 2016 Does anyone think I provoked this by snapping at him for messing me around? I can't help but think if I hadn't things might be different ... I haven't blocked him yet because I thought (stupidly! That he might realise how awful he has treated me and apologise ... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 If he has anger management problems, it was only a matter of time before he blew. He's not even allowed to see his own child, for heaven's sake - that is a gigantic red flag. The better question is: why are you chasing a clown like this? Where are your standards, woman?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 20, 2016 Author Share Posted December 20, 2016 He does see his other child every weekend (with another woman ) so this confused me as to why he doesn't go to court for access. I didn't end up calling him or texting him..I just left it alone. I do have self respect and that stopped me Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 20, 2016 Share Posted December 20, 2016 Does anyone think I provoked this by snapping at him for messing me around? I can't help but think if I hadn't things might be different ... I haven't blocked him yet because I thought (stupidly! That he might realise how awful he has treated me and apologise ... NO you did NOTHING wrong!! You are just seeing his true face! He would have done the same thing with another woman, any woman!! What he did is not uncommon. The world is full of bad men being all sweet for a couple of weeks than they start being rude, manipulative, abusive, it's YOUR JOB to block them right away when they start treating you bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted December 20, 2016 Author Share Posted December 20, 2016 We haven't spoke since Saturday. He did call me Sunday but I missed the call...then he ignored my message yet he is still looking at my snap chat story. If you dont want anything to do with me..why bother looking? Idiot Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Basically it ended 2 weeks ago. Well no real ending he just stopped responding after a disagreement. Anyway he kept me on his Facebook and snapchat. He was still looking at my snaps. Yesterday for the first time in two weeks he liked one of my Facebook posts(still no reply to my text off two weeks ago) So last night I snap chatted him a happy new year message. He opened it and started typing a message back but no message came through. I'm gutted how things have turned out. If he doesn't want me in his life just delete me from everything. I'm really hurt,not even a HNY message back. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm so sorry you're hurting. It's time to take control here and block him from everything. Don't allow any uncertainties related to his behaviour upset your healing. It's a New year and a new beginning. Start over without him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I don't understand why he has treated me like this. No ending just silence. Looks at my snapchats,likes a Facebook post. Opens my message starts typing but then nothing. I don't get it ..why has it ended like this? Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Don't send any more messages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Just defriend and block him. Problem solved! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I wish it was that simple. I still have feelings for him. Wish he would speak to me. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I wish it was that simple. I still have feelings for him. Wish he would speak to me. I think you have to conclude that this relationship is over as far as he is concerned. The fact you still have feelings for him makes no difference if he has no feelings left for you. How long were you dating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Only 4 months ..but it went from one day saying he missed me and getting jealous I was out with guy friend to being distant and arguing then gone. Why does he still look at my snapchats? Why did he have the Audacity to like a Facebook post yesterday but can't tell n me we are over? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts