mikeylo Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Only 4 months ..but it went from one day saying he missed me and getting jealous I was out with guy friend to being distant and arguing then gone. Why does he still look at my snapchats? Why did he have the Audacity to like a Facebook post yesterday but can't tell n me we are over? Like it or not but the truth is that the guy friend thing is probably a deal breaker for many. You , me or anyone can have a never ending debate on this but the truth is , it doesn't work.Even vice versa doesn't work. Link to post Share on other sites
Saracena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Only 4 months ..but it went from one day saying he missed me and getting jealous I was out with guy friend to being QUOTE] I wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet. So is this what the 'disagreement' was over?. What exactly was your last interaction? He may well be just processing things still or he's still annoyed over this. How old are you both? I wouldn't contact him again. Keep yourself busy with other things and try not to dwell on things for the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I wish it was that simple. I still have feelings for him. Wish he would speak to me. It's as simple as you want to make it. Cut all ties and it'll be a lot simpler for you in the long run. You could choose a 'Happy New Year' for yourself. Up to you! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Only 4 months ..but it went from one day saying he missed me and getting jealous I was out with guy friend to being QUOTE] I wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet. So is this what the 'disagreement' was over?. What exactly was your last interaction? He may well be just processing things still or he's still annoyed over this. How old are you both? I wouldn't contact him again. Keep yourself busy with other things and try not to dwell on things for the moment. Both early 30s No it was because he was lazy,spending time on social media rather than us spending time together. I can't understand why he 1.called me then when I rang back no answer 2.still keeping me on snapchat and Facebook and looking at my snaps If he wasn't interested at all Link to post Share on other sites
kidm Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Both early 30s No it was because he was lazy,spending time on social media rather than us spending time together. I can't understand why he 1.called me then when I rang back no answer 2.still keeping me on snapchat and Facebook and looking at my snaps If he wasn't interested at all Sounds to me he is trying to get under your skin and it's working. At early 30s, this is all a little too childish. It's been only 4 months and so many games and drama. Even if he were to come back, I don't think it would last long. The writing is on the wall. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
savvy2008 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I think since it seems like you won't be able to forget him until you get some answers, it would be a good idea to call him. Maybe from a different phone/number than the one he has for you in his phone. Ask whatever you feel you're missing and need to know. If he doesn't answer or doesn't want to talk about it, leave him alone. After that you should delete him on everything. It will suck and you'll want to check up on him and see what he is doing, but don't. Take it from someone who's had the experience of a relationship ending without a solid reason. Don't contact him again after the phone call. Don't check up on him via social media, mutual friends, etc. Regardless of the reasoning, he wanted the relationship to end. He is a jerk for not having the guts to talk to you about it. But honestly, if you can accept that the relationship is over and he is immature, you don't even need to call him to talk about why. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I don't understand why he said he still wanted us to be an item then when I asked. How do you go from being jealous I wasn't giving you attention one day to nothing. We were happy,I don't understand what went wrong. Talking about NYE plans etc Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 You need to stop contacting him for your sake and to start healing as soon as possible. He didn't respond to your HNY message because he is moving on. My ex also wrote a HNY sms to me from an unknown number. I didn't respond, not because I don't wish him luck in 2017, but because I value my own peace of mind and dignity and refuse to engage in any form of conversation. I recommend you do the same. It's the only way to heal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 He never officialy ended it ..he ghosted me yet still keeps me on Facebook and still looks at my snapchats. Did he start typing HNY and change his mind..why bother liking my Facebook post. Does he not feel guilty for how he treated me? Why did it even end? Why didn't he tell me? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Okay, OP, I think you need to forge ahead, at least somewhat accepting the notion that you won't ever get answers to these questions. Why? Who knows why! Closure is sometimes elusive. But I think the easiest answer is that he likes your posts because you let him, because it's easy. I know it would piss me right off if a guy I was seeing dropped off the face of the earth with no answers, only to keep liking my social media posts. That's not enough for me; if a guy wants to be with me, he needs to be fully in. Not distant and non-communicative. Okay. So what if you never get the answers to these questions? Then what? How long are you going to allow him to see what you're up to? Furthermore, why are you signaling to him that this behavior is okay? If he's still interested, he needs to come to you (snapchat doesn't count) and apologize and explain himself. For now, delete him. Make sure he can't see what you're up to, and make sure the only channels of communication he has available are legitimate ones. Then try to start moving on. Do it for your sanity and for your self respect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I can't handle not knowing,why couldn't he just tell me so I knew. How disrespectful can someone be who was meant to like you. I keep thinking of us cuddling and kissing me,how can he just do this. I hate myself ,I feel disgusting and worthless,like a nothing. That's why I was do disposable to him,I wasn't even worth a explanation. Don't think anybody will ever care about me tbh,I was a fool to think he did,it's all my fault. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Oh, OP, c'mon now. This is not all your fault. Why do you say that? What's your history with this guy? What's your history with guys in general. This is one of the suckier aspects of dating. If you think about it, 99% of dating ends in rejection. Sometimes the end of a relationship gets wrapped up neatly and sometimes it ... doesn't. When my ex broke up with me after a year, I got a lot of shrugs and mumbles and very few real answers. This was after I begged him to talk to me. Talk about unsatisfying and devastating. It's easy to blame yourself. But in truth this man sounds like a coward and a jerk who's inconsiderate of your feelings. You don't want to be with someone like that. Even if for a time they're loving and affectionate. His rejection doesn't mean you're a worthless nothing. You can't let the fickle opinion of one man drag you down like that, because it's not true. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 No ending just silence. That's why it called a breakup. Look, don't kid yourself that breadcrumbs would make you feel better. In fact, often they make yourself feel worse. See my recent post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/607865-breadcrumbs-continue Regarding this ghosting business. Yes it hurts to be ghosted. However, it depends on the person doing it. If the person is ghosting you because they can't be bothered or they are a narcissist, then yes, that is cruel. But consider the situation where a past lover has totally lost feelings for you and feels it might be better to not say anything than give you the gory details. This is where being ghosted can sometimes be considered a favour. Sometimes, being given silence actually shows they care for you more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EvilLawStudent Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 You are playing Russian Roulette with your feelings, delete him and move on you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I thought we were good together,I'm scared that I spoilt it by asking if he still wanted to see me..he even said he doesn't do clingy. Maybe I was being clingy. At this moment in time I don't care what happens now because I can't see myself with anybody else. I just want him. Did he loose his feelings overnight? I've cried from getting up this morning .. I've got nothing to look forward to now without him. I miss him Link to post Share on other sites
EvilLawStudent Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Why would you care about someone who ignores you? If he truely cared and loved you he would've responded immediately stop putting yourself through pain just leave it or trust me you'll be very hurt at the end of this, it's over accept and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I don't think I could feel any more hurt and worthless as I do now. He must not of ever had proper feelings for me must he? He couldn't of treated me like this if he did could he? How do I move on from this? Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 ..he even said he doesn't do clingy. Maybe I was being clingy. With this behaviour, your just pushing him away right now. Yes it hurts like hell but you must stop this now. Even been to a funeral and watching the deceased family running around like headless chooks trying to resurrect the dead family member? Of course not. Reality needs to be accepted. This clingy behaviour will just justify to him he was right with his decision. STOP NOW. ok? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I shouldn't of wished him HNY should I? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Mmm, if he were all that and a bag of chips, he'd still be around. Decent people don't hear a question like, "do you still want to see me" and consider it clingy. A guy who warns you he doesn't "like clingy" is just keeping you on eggshells because you're always afraid to say the "wrong" thing. What ends up happening is that you supposedly say something wrong, and he gets to just decide it was too much for him and deem it over without explanation. Does that really seem fair or reasonable to you? Does this sound like a healthy relationship dynamic? Let me answer that for you: no it doesn't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 With this behaviour, your just pushing him away right now. Yes it hurts like hell but you must stop this now. Even been to a funeral and watching the deceased family running around like headless chooks trying to resurrect the dead family member? Of course not. Reality needs to be accepted. This clingy behaviour will just justify to him he was right with his decision. STOP NOW. ok? Shall I just show him I'm ok then? I'm not bothered? I'm not clingy tho he was just treating me like a mug that's why I started asking him. Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I shouldn't of wished him HNY should I? No u shouldn't have. People respect people who have boundaries. Right now, your showing him you have no boundaries which makes you look quite unattractive. At 4 months, it's fair to say he was never that invested. People can act for a while but most would find it hard to last more than a few months acting. Believe, this would have hurt a lot more if it was a 3 or 4 year relationship. If you don't get to even 6 months, there was never a relationship to begin with IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
EvilLawStudent Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 You gotta playing the "I NEVER MET YOU GAME" remember when you were little they taught you the "stranger danger" tip do as followed trust me on this BLOCK the snob, show your worth go find yourself a real man. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I shouldn't of wished him HNY should I? Oh my god, girl, get a grip. It doesn't matter! This man is captain F flakey. A "relationship" that's so easily ruined by one person accidentally doing something the other doesn't like is not a relationship at all. I really wish you'd stop being so freaking hard on yourself. Why do you think you're so to blame? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Oh my god, girl, get a grip. It doesn't matter! This man is captain F flakey. A "relationship" that's so easily ruined by one person accidentally doing something the other doesn't like is not a relationship at all. I really wish you'd stop being so freaking hard on yourself. Why do you think you're so to blame? I've previously suffered with depression ..finally felt OK in myself and terrified this is going to set it off again. Link to post Share on other sites
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