Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 No u shouldn't have. People respect people who have boundaries. Right now, your showing him you have no boundaries which makes you look quite unattractive. At 4 months, it's fair to say he was never that invested. People can act for a while but most would find it hard to last more than a few months acting. Believe, this would have hurt a lot more if it was a 3 or 4 year relationship. If you don't get to even 6 months, there was never a relationship to begin with IMHO. So do you think he was pretending to like me? Why keep seeing me if he didn't like me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Oh my god, girl, get a grip. It doesn't matter! This man is captain F flakey. A "relationship" that's so easily ruined by one person accidentally doing something the other doesn't like is not a relationship at all. I really wish you'd stop being so freaking hard on yourself. Why do you think you're so to blame? He has a history of short 4/5 month relationships and gets with new girls so soon after the other. Link to post Share on other sites
EvilLawStudent Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 After I broke up with my ex I suffered from anxiety for 6-7 months multiple panic attacks everyday I even experienced depersonalisation all because I cared about "her" but she was too busy riding other dudes whilst I was crying trust me move on before you fall into the rabbit hole it's a vicious cycle to break once you're in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 (edited) He has a history of short 4/5 month relationships and gets with new girls so soon after the other. I think this tells you everything you need to know. A man who treats women like they're disposable? Doesn't that make you angry? Where is your anger towards this guy? Stop blaming yourself! Good riddance! Edited January 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for language ~ V Link to post Share on other sites
Noideanow Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I dont know him i dont know you, if potential is there.. But sounds like you didnt\dont take his concern about your male friend seriously, How would you feel if He had a girlfriend He met up with?-alone Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 (edited) I think this tells you everything you need to know. A man who treats women like they're disposable? Doesn't that make you angry? Where is your anger towards this guy? Stop blaming yourself! Good riddance! When we first met he said he had been single a year but when I seen on Facebook it was actually 7 weeks. They were together about 6 months ,girl before her 6 months too. Then another girl 7 months. He hasn't looked at my snapchats today,maybe he is trying to distant himself. It was my birthday a few days before he stopped speaking to me too .. Edited January 2, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited quote for language~ V Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I dont know him i dont know you, if potential is there.. But sounds like you didnt\dont take his concern about your male friend seriously, How would you feel if He had a girlfriend He met up with?-alone He lives with his best friend (who is female) never told me she was female till I seen on Facebook. He is godparent to her daughter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 So do you think he was pretending to like me? Why keep seeing me if he didn't like me? No, There was bits about you he likes such as the friendship, sex etc but when faced with the entire package, he wasn't feeling it. He probably wasn't acting to try and trick you. Often what people do is they stay quiet about their feelings because they don't want to ruin the relationship until they are 100 per cent sure or when they feel they have the strength needed to call it off etc. He also may have decided to give you a chance to see if his feelings changed but they didn't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Noideanow Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Not good:( very confusing indeed, bottom line He has no right to Be jealous then, i assume you have told him it made you uncomfortable? So you dont end up playing the neverending game of trying to Make each other jealous:( Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Not good:( very confusing indeed, bottom line He has no right to Be jealous then, i assume you have told him it made you uncomfortable? So you dont end up playing the neverending game of trying to Make each other jealous:( I didn't tell him I knew..I thought when he wants to tell me he will. I honestly don't understand what's went wrong.. Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I honestly don't understand what's went wrong.. Louise, you need to start listening to what we are saying. There is no point us posting if you will just keep going back to your inner dialogue of self-blame and asking the same questions over and over. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Louise, you need to start listening to what we are saying. There is no point us posting if you will just keep going back to your inner dialogue of self-blame and asking the same questions over and over. I am listening and I appreciate you all taking the time to respond. I'm just hurt and finding it hard today to think clearly and rationally I know I need to delete him from social media but once I do that he is totally gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Do you think me trying to get him back is a lost cause? Could I do it? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 No, Jesus, WHY? Are you not absorbing anything anyone's said in this thread? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 No, Jesus, WHY? Are you not absorbing anything anyone's said in this thread? It's hard for me to just switch my feelings off 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marky00 Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I know I need to delete him from social media but once I do that he is totally gone. It doesn't always happen like that. If he cared in anyway, once you disappear for long enough, he may re-connect in some way. The only way of knowing how he truly feels is by letting him go and give him space. Even if that means he moves on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Did you ever go to his house, OP? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 It's hard for me to just switch my feelings off No one here is saying to switch off your feelings. Break-ups and ghosting always suck. But there's a difference between feeling your feelings and trying to get him back. For your own self-respect I'd say don't even bother. One day you'll be glad he disappeared. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 Did you ever go to his house, OP? No ..well he just rents a room at a friends place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 No one here is saying to switch off your feelings. Break-ups and ghosting always suck. But there's a difference between feeling your feelings and trying to get him back. For your own self-respect I'd say don't even bother. One day you'll be glad he disappeared. I don't want to appear Desperate. So angry at myself for developing feelings ,should of kept my guard up Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 It's hard for me to just switch my feelings off It's actually pretty easy to just switch feelings off. The tricky thing is to recognise that you have feelings, but manage those feelings so that you don't go down the road of grasping any opportunity to try to reconnect with somebody who's lost interest. It doesn't sound as though things have gone wrong between you to the extent that this person is never going to contact you again. Chances are he's playing some sort of game - especially since he started to type messages to you, then didn't send them. If you don't contact him again, he'll probably be in touch soon enough...but it'll only be a matter of time before he ghosts again. If you get a buzz out of those games, then he's going to keep playing you like a fiddle well into the new year. If you don't get a buzz out of them, then either knock this situation on the head or relegate him to the friend zone if there are enough things you like about him that you want to keep him in your life. It's easier to tolerate that sort of thing from a casual friend than it is to tolerate it from a partner - or potential partner. He doesn't sound like partner material. A man who ghosts on you like that, especially this early on, is just going to disappoint you over and over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted January 1, 2017 Author Share Posted January 1, 2017 I'm all out of ideas anyway ..can't contact him again or il look desperate... So dissapointed in him Link to post Share on other sites
bluepanox Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I broke up in August but kept chasing my ex until December. It is one of the worst things you can possible do. No matter what you do you can not change their thoughts. Only thing you can do is heal and move on. Trust me. Just remove anything that reminds you of your ex. I deleted my facebook, removed her number, deleted all material from my computer and even moved out of my house. Be especially cautious about times when you are tired or hungry. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 It's normal that you are hurt and are having all the feelings of loss, desperation, wanting to get back together, etc. You're just going to have to go through them until you get to the other side. All your questions about "why did he do it?" "Why am I still on his facebook?" etc. are a waste of your time and emotional energy. Nobody here can answer those questions but the answers mean nothing anyway. If he wanted to be with you, he would not have disappeared on you like he did. The fact that he has chosen to ignore you rather than step up and break up with you like a grown man just shows that he's poor boyfriend material. No matter how badly you feel now, it's very fortunate for you that you found out how he handles himself sooner rather than later. Link to post Share on other sites
LargoLagg Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 (edited) I don't want to appear Desperate. So angry at myself for developing feelings ,should of kept my guard upThe problem with that is that you are desperate. Job#1 is to admit that to yourself. Also, you should not make the mistake of regretting that you developed feelings for a man. That's a good thing. Rather, you should always be aware that more than likely, your romantic relationships will end. That's just the way it is. So, don't deny your heart, just don't let it fool you into thinking that every next guy is forever. Every guy comes with the straw that breaks the camel's back. You're a breakup just waiting to happen. It's ok, they're not all like that. Just most of them, until the last one. You can't switch off your feelings, but you can control your actions. The first action you need to do is to make a decision. Until you do that, you're a backslider waiting to happen. Once you've decided that you're done with him, then next, you take all the steps. blocking this, blocking that, getting rid of reminders, etc. Edited January 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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