LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 (edited) Most of the women I've dated, which is probably why I was able to attract them, told me that they don't like pretty boys or men who are overly attractive. Usually these men turn women's heads otherwise, but they actually had told me they are turned off by them. I am only guessing it's a stereotype of course. That they sleep around, players, have multiple women, so if they are dating you, chances are..they aren't being entirely monogamous. Things like that. Are there women here or do you know of women...or even men, that have an aversion to really physically attractive people? Of course, men are more visual, so it's less likely with them, but I've noticed this attitude is with women. Not saying it's a bad thing, but really...a GOOD thing, because at least they are into me for my personality. But these types are very few and far between. It's like a stereotype that works in my favor. Edited January 20, 2017 by LookAtThisPOst 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I know shallow people (of either gender) who only consider dating good looking people, I know insecure people (of either gender) who don't dare approach those they think are 'out of reach' purely on physical attributes, but I don't know anyone in my life who would purposefully and deliberately avoid particularly good looking people (whatever that means) based on stereotypes and assumptions. In any case, not all handsome men are lying cheats, not all 'average-looking' guys have a better personality, and physical looks is only one aspect of what makes someone attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 I know shallow people (of either gender) who only consider dating good looking people, I know insecure people (of either gender) who don't dare approach those they think are 'out of reach' purely on physical attributes, but I don't know anyone in my life who would purposefully and deliberately avoid particularly good looking people (whatever that means) based on stereotypes and assumptions. In any case, not all handsome men are lying cheats, not all 'average-looking' guys have a better personality, and physical looks is only one aspect of what makes someone attractive. Well, you can replace "all" with "most". I heard on the radio that there was a study done that the majority of average looking men make more loyal/commited husbands as opposed to their pretty boy counter parts where as the pretty boys were mostly non-committal, had affairs, and the like. I think some of these women I dated had this ingrained in their head because of personal experiences and seeing through some of the men, although very attractive, that approached them. They could pick up on that vibe that they just wanted one thing...if you get what I mean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Well, you can replace "all" with "most". I heard on the radio that there was a study done that the majority of average looking men make more loyal/commited husbands as opposed to their pretty boy counter parts where as the pretty boys were mostly non-committal, had affairs, and the like. I think some of these women I dated had this ingrained in their head because of personal experiences and seeing through some of the men, although very attractive, that approached them. They could pick up on that vibe that they just wanted one thing...if you get what I mean. I get what you mean, but I also think people should be wary of generalisations and surveys, and I know enough decent handsome men not to be entirely convinced about the pretty boys = players theory. That said, if this type of thinking reassures you and makes you feel better about finding a compatible partner, then there's not much harm in it I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 IMO, a man will take an attractive woman all day long, the more attractive/sexy the better, and never look back...If they think they are getting more than they deserve, then they'll just thank whatever God that they pray to and ride it out...They normally love it when other guys drool over their woman... It's different for women, IME Unless the woman is equally or more attractive than their mate(and even then it might be an issue), there is a level of insecurity that never goes away and eats at them...They hate it when other women make positive comments about their man's attractiveness/physique, and get highly territorial, more so than men do, part of this is how other women react when they see a woman with an attractive man...Many women will say stuff like "God, what does he possibly see in HER:rolleyes:"...whereas guys will see another guy with a hot SO and nod as a form of respect or "good job, buddy!"... I think, also, many women wrongly think that guys that have great physiques or are objectively good looking are narcissists and attention seekers, and will look to better deal them... So maybe that's why they do that...Because believe me, you will never see a guy put in his profile..."If you are hot, have a great body or look like Jordan Carver, than don't bother me".....Never happens... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Women can have an aversion to gym rats, sporty guys, nerdy guys, speccy guys, fat guys, thin guys, ugly guys, bald guys, guys with beards, guys without beards, guys with long hair, guys with short hair, guys with tatts, guys without tatts, tall guys, short guys, funny guys, serious guys, stupid guys, clever guys, black guys, white guys, guys with funny accents, guys without funny accents.... etc. etc. Women are individuals, the same guys do not float the boat of every woman, so why wouldn't some women have an aversion to pretty boys? 12 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 Women can have an aversion to gym rats, sporty guys, nerdy guys, speccy guys, fat guys, thin guys, ugly guys, bald guys, guys with beards, guys without beards, guys with long hair, guys with short hair, guys with tatts, guys without tatts, tall guys, short guys, funny guys, serious guys, stupid guys, clever guys, black guys, white guys, guys with funny accents, guys without funny accents.... etc. etc. Women are individuals, the same guys do not float the boat of every woman, so why wouldn't some women have an aversion to pretty boys? Because most of the population of women would be attracted to them, universally. To compare fat guys with pretty boys is not a great example. There's good reason not to be attracted to fat people, but not much of a reason to not be attracted to pretty boys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Because most of the population of women would be attracted to them, universally. To compare fat guys with pretty boys is not a great example. There's good reason not to be attracted to fat people, but not much of a reason to not be attracted to pretty boys. Exactly... And I could see how a woman wouldn't want some d bag that spends half his day flexing in front of a mirror....But by discounting ALL of them, that makes it some hang up about them, not the guys, because they aren't all like that.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 This reminds me of this professional photographer that has been dating this smoking hot woman for 7 years. To see them in a room together, you wouldn't know they were "together", as he's very low profile and dresses in a pair of jeans, wears a ball cap and a polo shirt with his company logo on it and not a pretty boy. She dresses to the nines when she goes out, little black dress and all that...and he does not. Men assume she's flying solo or if they do spot him, they think he's just a co-worker or "the photographer". Funny thing, they met while he was shooting photos of her. So maybe I should go that route? Become a photographer so I can meet models? LOL just kidding. Anyhow, he has very little photos of himself on his FB profile but many photos of her though, which is kind of odd. If he does, it's him off in the back ground or his face partially obscured. He does post photos of other models for networking purposes, but sometimes he'd post photos of her, modeling in a bra and panties and touting, "She's the most wonderful woman in my life." Putting her on a pedestal or something, so I'm wondering if their relationship is based of him feeding her ego...who knows, right? Never seen pictures of them together, which is strange. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Because most of the population of women would be attracted to them, universally. Where is your evidence for that? Studies show that whereas men are in agreement over what constitutes beauty, women vary tremendously, with some women giving top rating to guys who other women thought were ugly. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 Where is your evidence for that? Studies show that whereas men are in agreement over what constitutes beauty, women vary tremendously, with some women giving top rating to guys who other women thought were ugly. I can go along with you, when it comes to varying results. But that does explain how I fell into the, "She was attracted me not because of my look" category, although I have a hard time meeting women who think like this...of course this may be regional cultural situaations. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I think it's more the metrosexual thing women aren't all that into. I don't want to date someone who spends more time in front of the mirror than I do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Sure, some women aren't attracted to "pretty boys." I am only guessing it's a stereotype of course. That they sleep around, players, have multiple women, so if they are dating you, chances are..they aren't being entirely monogamous. Things like that. I strongly doubt that it's for any reasons like those; more likely, some women are not attracted by "pretty" and / or "boys." They prefer different qualities. For the record, attractive people aren't any less likely to be capable of monogamy than unfortunate looking people. If somebody's not cheating simply because they're too ugly to manage it, they aren't any better partner material than one who is actively cheating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 (edited) Where is your evidence for that? Studies show that whereas men are in agreement over what constitutes beauty, women vary tremendously, with some women giving top rating to guys who other women thought were ugly. While this is somewhat true, in the context of a relationship, if we are just talking male attractiveness, the same principles apply....Guys see attractive women as slim, ample tits, nice ass, etc...Women see attractive men as tall, muscular, broad shoulders, lean, sharp jawline, etc... Attractive isn't hard to identify for either sex.... The only difference, is that women will overlook some items that men generally don't or find issue with...So if a woman is outing attractive/well built guys, without knowing them(which is what the OP is talking about), then that indicates something about her character or some form of insecurity...If not, then she would at least be open to the option, no?...Why would anyone (man or woman) deliberately want lesser attractive people....if all else was equal(or maybe even better)? TFY Edited January 20, 2017 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 While this is somewhat true, in the context of a relationship, if we are just talking male attractiveness, the same principles apply....Guys see attractive women as slim, ample tits, nice ass, etc...Women see attractive men as tall, muscular, broad shoulders, lean, sharp jawline, etc... Attractive isn't hard to identify for either sex.... The only difference, is that women will overlook some items that men generally don't or find issue with...So if a woman is outing attractive/well built guys, without knowing them(which is what the OP is talking about), then that indicates something about her character or some form of insecurity...If not, then she would at least be open to the option, no?...Why wouldn't anyone (man or woman) deliberately want lesser attractive people....if all else was equal(or maybe even better)? TFY Hm, this bodes the question with a couple of women I previously dated. One that I was seriously intimate with. She admitted to not caring about looks one bit, and was more into personality. One one of our future dates, I had asked her, "Who is your celebrity crush?" Just for fun. She said, "Well, I don't care about looks, but...if I were to pick someone, I'd be that guy, she didn't know his name, but I identified him as Jeremy Renner. And she siad "I guess him I would pick" It was interesting, because she was rather insecure in general, but I am NOT sure if that ties into her attraction to certain men? I think that's the brunt of my post, can I use that logic, "She isn't into attractive men, so she'll date average Joes because she's insecure" Or simply one doesn't have to do with the other? I'd like to know they are NOT connected though. Not entirely sure if this is a red flag to find this out...or not? Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 Pretty boys are nice to look at, most of them, not fun to date. I prefer men with a sense of humor, you can look like a dogs a** and make me laugh and I'll be attracted to you. Pretty boys that I've met, some seem very shallow, or spend more time looking at themselves than me. Some are not too bright as they have allowed their looks to get them as far as they've come. They tend to be more attentive to their needs rather than their SO's. That being said, I have met a few pretty boys that were really nice decent people. But maybe, I thought they were out of my league, so I didn't really feel a connection. (that being said, I don't think I'm unattractive, just the average girl next door type.) I have one thing I always say, my friends think its funny, but it has a ring of truth in it for me. Real women prefer a keg over a six pack. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I think it's more the metrosexual thing women aren't all that into. I don't want to date someone who spends more time in front of the mirror than I do. Yep. I think Elaine567 made some good points but I will admit that TYT also made some good observations as well. Whenever I hear the word 'pretty boy', like TYT pointed out, they tend to be extremely attractive, usually young, uber metrosexual, very high maintenance, self absorbed and often have very little else to offer other than his perfect self. Of course I know this to be a generalization and not necessarily the case for ALL 'pretty boys' but then again it's a stereotype for a reason. For me, although I can appreciate a beautiful man and the work that goes into being so physically perfect, it does very little for me in terms of attraction. I mean, I've dated plenty of very 'handsome' men by anyone's standards but being 'handsome', at least to me, is very different than being a 'pretty boy'. It's taking things to a whole other level. Personally, I'm attracted to the realness in both men and women. I love scars and flaws because they tell a story about who they are. I love quirks and imperfections because it adds to their character. I love people who own their truth and are comfortable with who they are and what they look like and aren't caught up in the obsession for perfection by trying to hide, cover, fix and erase the very things that make them unique. That's damn sexy to me. You can have your 'pretty boys', I'll take a fashionably challenged, white-flecked 5 o'clock shadow, works-hard-to-provide calloused hands and a little-soft-in-the-middle-because-he-enjoys-his-pasta 'handsome' man any day of the week. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I have to admit I'm a little surprised at the stereotypes around 'pretty boys' - or maybe I see it as having a different meaning. If you're talking about vanity, that's totally different and isn't even related to how physically attractive the guy is. I find it really odd that people would have an aversion to 'pretty boys' - I know so many handsome men who are also kind, hard-working, faithful, gentlemanly men and I never really thought of dismissing them out of hand because they were 'too' good-looking? I mean that's not something they had any choice in. A good-looking guy can have the exact same attribute as any other good guy, with the cherry on top that he's easy on the eye. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 None of this actually matters much. People in relationships match up in attractiveness levels. Just Google the Matching Hypothesis and you'll see there's so much research on this that it's a fact. Of course there are exceptions here and there (Donald and Melania Trump come to mind), but they are the exceptions that prove the rule... And women may have a more variability in who they are attracted to, but they are more attracted to good looking men. So they may only consider a certain segment of good looking men to be attractive, whereas men will by and large be attracted to all good looking women. I remember a woman posting on here a while back thinking she had such unique taste in men because she was more attracted to Benedict Cumberbatch than she was Channing Tatum...made me laugh...tall, dark, slim, fit... Now if she had said she was more attracted to John Goodman, then it really would have been something unique! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I have an aversion to the pretty boy with visible muscles. I know I'm being shallow and it's a stereotype, but it is what it is. I always think that they will be vain and spend half the day in the gym and on their appearance. There was this one time at a party when an acquaintance walked in with a gorgeous man on her arm. My instant reaction to seeing him was "ugh, pretty boy". But then I got talking with him and found that he was a really good guy. Good reminder to not judge on face value. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I'd imagine most of these women are ones who have either had a series of bad experiences with 'pretty boys', or are close to someone else (friend, family member) who had those experiences. Nothing shapes someone's decision making more than what you've learned through experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 I don't know any women who have any aversion to pretty boys except women who know they can never get one, and then it's just a defensive posture. Now, if a woman really hates competition, she would be wise not to get serious about someone who will always have women after him, but no woman I know was that afraid of competition. I used to love pretty boys. It's not all I loved, though. And they aren't all out to use you and discard you. That's nonsense. The more likely person to intentionally use and discard you is the one who is bitter and has developed a basic dislike of women. The prettiest boy I knew was a real gentleman and tried very hard not to hurt the ladies. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 (edited) Where is your evidence for that? Studies show that whereas men are in agreement over what constitutes beauty, women vary tremendously, with some women giving top rating to guys who other women thought were ugly. Its a man's biological imperative to seek beauty and a women's biological imperative to seek protection and resources. Social conditioning affects the biological selection because we are more complex than any other animal. So that's why a women's attraction towards a man looks varies more so... his ability to protect and provide resources is more universal in regards to attraction. The more hostile a women's environment is the more she will be attracted to a man who offers protection than resources and the less hostile will she prefer a man that provides resources. Edited January 20, 2017 by Sweetfish Link to post Share on other sites
ReformedPUA Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 (edited) Well, let me segue off a bit OP. PUA as we knew it died off, not so much because guys felt bad doing "playing PUA", but instead because the women these guys were trying to connect with didn't really get it. Guys were dressing in these crazy outfits and playing hard-to-get (you know, as women tend to do) trying to prove that they "weren't like the other men", and that just ended up confusing and turning women off. See, women are attracted to masculinity. Boneheadedness and creepiness not so much. In fact, many women are attracted to a man that reminds them a bit of their dad. Protective, teaches them new things, leads them to fun, doesn't sweat small things, emotionally grounded, and who is strong when he needs to be. And doesn't mind getting his hands dirty, and on that note probably didn't spend more time on his appearance than her mom did. So it's not surprising at all OP. If you do happen to be extremely handsome don't worry, many really handsome men do quite well with women too despite their looks too. Edited January 20, 2017 by ReformedPUA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 To me a pretty guy is man who's attractive but not in a modest way. Or he's not so attractive but likes to think that he is. I don't like arrogant guys - the kind who work in my local gym and spend so long looking at their reflection. I would never assume that a man is a pretty boy. I'd have to observe his behaviour firsthand. It's all based on how he acts, not what he looks like. Link to post Share on other sites
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