Shining One Posted January 22, 2017 Share Posted January 22, 2017 Personally, I've had women ask for pictures sent directly to them, rather than posted on the OLD site. I'm guessing it was so they could check EXIF data to verify the pictures are recent. I've never been offended when they asked and had no trouble complying. I did have a funny experience when a potential date asked for one on Halloween. She asked me to show up to our date looking like that. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Just say in your profile that you like the thinner woman. Women who are more solid or overweight will not contact you or be very responsive if you contact them. Most women can read. Link to post Share on other sites
Poe77 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I dont really think its superficial to not be attracted to a cirtn body type pr race or eye color or what ever else its personal preference..if you were putting those women down and attacking them then that's superficial..anyways just move on if they dont have a recent full body shot for what ever reason they chose not to post one so just next it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I've never once said it was superficial to be attracted to a certain body type.To each their own. But asking for more pictures comes off as a pervert, and if you ever have been on OLD sites, you know that this is a frequent occurrence. If you aren't sure of the pictures, or whatever have you, just meet up with them for a quick cup of coffee. I don't think there's any reason to be rude and say, "you're too heavy for me". Just be polite over coffee, say it was nice meeting you but you don't feel a connection. No reason to ask for more pictures. Just meet them and go from there. It isn't rocket science. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poe77 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 But asking for more pictures comes off as a pervert, and if you ever have been on OLD sites, you know that this is a frequent occurrence. If you aren't sure of the pictures, or whatever have you, just meet up with them for a quick cup of coffee. I don't think there's any reason to be rude and say, "you're too heavy for me". Just be polite over coffee, say it was nice meeting you but you don't feel a connection. No reason to ask for more pictures. Just meet them and go from there. It isn't rocket science. I can kinda see both sides but alot are single and lonely they dont want time they could have used on a date with some one they think there is a real chance with wasted cause some one outright lied or thought "he wouldn't mind" both sexes do this btw to a degree I fail to see how asking for a fully clothed body shot on a dating site to be "pervy"? I guess its in how its asked for? dunno that's weird to me... Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I guess its different for me.. I have A LOT of pictures on my OLD profile. Including some full body length shots. So when a man messages me and says, "do you have any more pictures you can send me?" I always respond, "why you can see me just fine on all my pictures?" and they say, "well, I'd like to see more of you". Thats been my experience with men that ask for more pictures. But, as I said, I have full body shots and the like on my profile. For me, I've met different men, all of different body types and different level of attractiveness. I prefer to judge someone on how they make me feel, if they make me laugh, or if they have a decent heart, over looks. It's just not mega important to me. Which is probably why I don't understand the need for more pictures 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I have to ask, if you are so bothered by someone that is overweight that you can't even have dinner with them without freaking out, how do you function in day to day life? What if you have a meeting with a coworker who is overweight? Do you quit the company? I get preferences, but this sounds pretty extreme. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I guess its different for me.. I have A LOT of pictures on my OLD profile. Including some full body length shots. So when a man messages me and says, "do you have any more pictures you can send me?" I always respond, "why you can see me just fine on all my pictures?" and they say, "well, I'd like to see more of you".As I mentioned in my previous post, they may want pictures sent directly to them so they could check EXIF data. OLD sites strip all EXIF data when they are uploaded. Thus, you could be using pictures of you from 10 years ago (which I have experienced) and the men have no way of checking that. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 See and I liked online dating back in the mid 90's when no one had pictures and you were truly going on a date with someone you didn't know what they looked like, based on your conversations with them. I think if you need to do forensic testing on someones pictures to make sure of their exact look before meeting them, you should just go to the club and hit on the most attractive people because clearly that is all you are concerned about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 As with everything else, everyone's experience differs. Personally, I haven't been mislead by OLD pictures very often, maybe five times if I'm remembering correctly. However, some people get deceived a lot. One of the women who asked me for more pictures before meeting was very relieved that I looked like my pictures. She said she'd met 20+ men who had used old/modified pictures and/or lied on their profiles about one thing or another. Some people have worse experiences than me. I'm not going to judge them harshly for taking some extra precautions. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I must be the odd duck, thinking that pictures arent that important at all. I could care less how a person dresses, how overweight they are, or underweight for that matter... its about personality and how you get on. At the very least you could make a new friend? how could that hurt anything? Everyone is out to find a mate, what about just socializing and making new friends? I guess I'm just weird 1 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 (edited) Quite a few pictures have been misleading, or there are too few from various angles to really tell much. I've been disappointed a number of times, but I don't mind. I'll even meet women who don't have photos, if they seem interesting and/or compatible. A meeting for coffee or a drink doesn't take a lot of time or expense, so there isn't much downside, IMO. And, there have been those times when I've been very pleasantly surprised, even by some who had no photos posted. A couple of those even lead to relationships. Appearance does matter to me, and I am seldom attracted to someone who is more than a little overweight. Edited January 23, 2017 by central 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I must be the odd duck, thinking that pictures arent that important at all. I could care less how a person dresses, how overweight they are, or underweight for that matter... its about personality and how you get on. At the very least you could make a new friend? how could that hurt anything? Everyone is out to find a mate, what about just socializing and making new friends? I guess I'm just weird Exactly, you meet someone and you aren't attracted to them, you may have a new friend... People in here are making it sound so apocalyptic to go on a date with someone you don't find attractive enough. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 While I have made a friend or two from OLD, I never became friends with any woman who started out by deceiving me. I doubt any woman would want to be friends with me if I started out by deceiving her. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 how is posting pictures deceiving? It's them, its a selfie, so they have a few extra pounds? Should we shame them and say, "you never told me you were a fatty!!!"... I think thats just cold, i don't see how having a lack of pictures or lack of full body pictures could be deceiving. How about going into meeting someone new with an open mind? No one is saying once you meet you have to be with them forever or even have sex with them... so what does it matter honestly? Geez, how did people operate back when blind dating was ACTUALLY blind? Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 how is posting pictures deceiving?Using older pictures is deceiving. Using pictures taken at favorable angles to hide undesirable features is deceiving. Using altered pictures is deceiving.Should we shame them and say, "you never told me you were a fatty!!!"...No one said anything about shaming.Geez, how did people operate back when blind dating was ACTUALLY blind?I've been on quite a few blind dates and I never felt deceived on any of them. I'm sure part of it was due to a lack of expectations. The friends who set us up also gave fairly accurate descriptions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SevenCity Posted January 23, 2017 Author Share Posted January 23, 2017 Using older pictures is deceiving. Using pictures taken at favorable angles to hide undesirable features is deceiving. Using altered pictures is deceiving.No one said anything about shaming.I've been on quite a few blind dates and I never felt deceived on any of them. I'm sure part of it was due to a lack of expectations. The friends who set us up also gave fairly accurate descriptions. I felt deceived on this particular date. The photo must have been years ago or super effective with the my space angle. People here eluded to the fact that I hate people who are not thin because I "had to get out of there". Not the case. This date was in NYC which required a train / subway ride totaling 1.5 hrs each way. Also, we had nothing in common. Moreover, my time is valuable. I don't see going on a date / meeting as no big deal. It's my time and I expect the woman to look like her pics. Most of the women I find attractive are not local so I had to expand to NYC. I'm in my 40s so posters claiming that all of a sudden you gain weight once you hit 40 are not correct. It's a choice. Also, I don't have to defend my preference. I can count hundreds of women's profiles which state they want a tall guy. That's their preference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poe77 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I guess its different for me.. I have A LOT of pictures on my OLD profile. Including some full body length shots. So when a man messages me and says, "do you have any more pictures you can send me?" I always respond, "why you can see me just fine on all my pictures?" and they say, "well, I'd like to see more of you". Thats been my experience with men that ask for more pictures. But, as I said, I have full body shots and the like on my profile. For me, I've met different men, all of different body types and different level of attractiveness. I prefer to judge someone on how they make me feel, if they make me laugh, or if they have a decent heart, over looks. It's just not mega important to me. Which is probably why I don't understand the need for more pictures I see that makes a big difference then if you got a bunch of clear up to date pics then I see no need for more and yeah if some one asked it would kinda hit me as off too...I tend to agree on the personality more then the looks but lets be honest there has to be some level of attraction there or it wont last long.. As I mentioned in my previous post, they may want pictures sent directly to them so they could check EXIF data. OLD sites strip all EXIF data when they are uploaded. Thus, you could be using pictures of you from 10 years ago (which I have experienced) and the men have no way of checking that. Really? if you have to check that hard log off internet dating and just go out in the real world that's border line paranoid im sorry I know women lie men lie too I remember a couple of dates were the guy looked nothing like his pic at that point you have a choice eater tough it out or be upfront ide prob choose to excuse myself and then email them later and explain why I left better to be honest but no need to cause a scene in public after all.. Link to post Share on other sites
Poe77 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Should we shame them and say, "you never told me you were a fatty!!!"... Men are visual creatures not alot of them will "just get over" a women having 100 pounds more on her then in her old pics..that's just a fact its not really shamming its personal preference it be like if some one you found unattractive for what ever reason said you were shamming them just cause you didn't see then as dateable...its a disappointment if some one lies no matter what the scenario.. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Really? if you have to check that hard log off internet dating and just go out in the real world that's border line paranoid im sorry I know women lie men lie too I remember a couple of dates were the guy looked nothing like his pic at that point you have a choice eater tough it out or be upfront ide prob choose to excuse myself and then email them later and explain why I left better to be honest but no need to cause a scene in public after all..As I mentioned earlier, I have not experienced deceit that frequently. I personally have never felt the need to ask for more pictures. However, I can understand and sympathize with people who have experienced a higher amount of deceit, like the OP and the woman I mentioned in a previous post. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Using older pictures is deceiving. Using pictures taken at favorable angles to hide undesirable features is deceiving. Using altered pictures is deceiving. Sure if you are actually altering a picture to make yourself look different that is deceiving... but when normal people take normal pictures they try to take it from a favorable angle. If someone posts a picture like that I don't consider it deceit. I'm all in favor of people posting realistic pictures on dating sites. I think it's one of those things though where the most important thing with online dating is getting that first date to find if you are compatible in the real world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I felt deceived on this particular date. The photo must have been years ago or super effective with the my space angle. People here eluded to the fact that I hate people who are not thin because I "had to get out of there". Not the case. This date was in NYC which required a train / subway ride totaling 1.5 hrs each way. Also, we had nothing in common. Moreover, my time is valuable. I don't see going on a date / meeting as no big deal. It's my time and I expect the woman to look like her pics. Most of the women I find attractive are not local so I had to expand to NYC. I'm in my 40s so posters claiming that all of a sudden you gain weight once you hit 40 are not correct. It's a choice. Also, I don't have to defend my preference. I can count hundreds of women's profiles which state they want a tall guy. That's their preference. Preferences I get, that's fine if you prefer someone of a certain body type, or whatever it is you are into. I guess, I go into OLD with more of an open mind. Everyone's time is valuable, but I wouldn't ever dismiss someone just because they have older pictures or they are not exactly what I had in mind by their photos. I have the only expectation that I possibly will make a new friend out of meeting someone. Maybe I'm using OLD wrong? It's more of a social thing for me to get myself out there, after a 20 year marriage I need some new people in my life. I would make it very specific in your profile what you are looking for. And if you get a message from a woman, ask her if she read it in detail. Be up front about it before arranging a meeting. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I felt deceived on this particular date. The photo must have been years ago or super effective with the my space angle. People here eluded to the fact that I hate people who are not thin because I "had to get out of there". Not the case. This date was in NYC which required a train / subway ride totaling 1.5 hrs each way. Also, we had nothing in common. Moreover, my time is valuable. I don't see going on a date / meeting as no big deal. It's my time and I expect the woman to look like her pics. Most of the women I find attractive are not local so I had to expand to NYC. . Most of the men I find attractive are also 1-1.5+ hours away. I still won't do it though because there is too much risk of deception (not just with looks), plus traveling sucks. I'm just going to move to a bigger city and that will be that. Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 Yeah. Tough call. I don't consider myself to be TOO superficial. But, hey, most people are whether they admit it or not. I once met in person a woman I had only chatted with online and she had only a face pic. When I saw her I was absolutely not attracted to her. So, after that, I tried to, in the nicest way possible, to tell women I was going to meet that I am certainly no fitness model, and a few extra pounds if fine, or even desired. But I had that one time where, besides wasting both our time, I'm sure I hurt her feelings. It was very awkward. So, I guess, I'm saying it's better to look like a schmuck online than to get together and hurt her feelings? I dunno. Tough call. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 24, 2017 Share Posted January 24, 2017 I never became friends with any woman who started out by deceiving me. People choosing the most flattering pictures of themselves that they can find has nothing to do with "deceiving" you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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