He liked me, then friendzoned me...? Second Chance?

[hearings]

So I've been friends with a guy (long distance with mutual IRL friends) for over a year. We didn't meet each other until we had known each other for exactly one year.

 

Before that, I had always suspected that he was a bit interested, because sometimes he would ask me what I thought about his profile pic, what kind of guys I like, that he showed a pic of me to his friends and they thought I'm cute and he agreed etc. And I mean.. Every guy friend I've ever had who has been single has always showed interest at some point eventually. So I wasn't surprised, hehe. But it wasn't until after our first meeting that he made it obvious. He started flirting with me and revealed that I pretty much have everything he looks for in a girl, and that he is gonna tell me how he feels about me eventually.

 

Then around 2-3 weeks later I went to spend a weekend at his place. He seemed SUPER into me. He wanted to be close and touch me constantly, cuddle, he kissed me the first night.

 

When I traveled home again I was really happy because it was OBVIOUS that he liked me, right? So I asked him if he could tell me how he feels, since he said he was going to tell me eventually. He told me that I'm a beautiful girl, but he's not ready to fall in love yet. He was HEARTBROKEN by his ex who was also long distance (I knew about his ex long beforehand so I know it's not a lie) so he's scared of doing LD again, although he knows that I care more about him than she ever did. When he kissed me he started thinking about distance, so he got scared. (BUT he still wanted to be close the next day and wanted to cuddle in bed?) Anyways, I told him I'm interested, then he started saying things like "I haven't rejected you. There's a chance for us. I'll think about it. You make me feel so good. I'll think about it". He even said that he think we could be great friends, but also even a great couple??

 

Then I've got "proof" that he meant what he said, but it would be too long for me to type them, so yeah.. Just trust me, lol.

 

Anyways, we had a little fight recently. We still haven't talked it over because he told me he needs space, then we could talk. But he told me "I think it's best to at least be friends after this". 2 weeks have passed and I have still heard nothing from him. Our mutual friends are involved in the drama and he doesn't wanna talk to them either because he feels like they are angry with him (he's the one who screwed up). So it seems like he just needs space from the drama, not from US, but we are involved in the drama.

 

So yeah. Idk what will happen next, but we will at least be friends in the future. That's all I know for now. He probably thinks I'm a drama queen, Idk.

 

Has something similar ever happened to you and did the person who friendzoned you ever wanted you again? This guy in particular has a BUNCH of girl friends but I've heard from our mutual friends that these girls have been strictly just friends. He has never fooled around with them, except for one, but that was YEARS ago. So I still feel like I have a "special spot" among his girl-friends. Lol. I mean, if he once was interested in me, isn't it possible that he will gain it back if I back away a little bit? He is still not over his ex, but once he's over her he might be ready for me if his feelings for me would grow... The question is, will they ever..Hmm.. I know I shouldn't hope/expect too much. If another guy comes around I won't ignore him because of this guy. But STILL.

 

Advice? Your experiences?

Edited January 22, 2017 by hearings

[Frogwife]

I hate to sound snarky, but why would you want to be "back" with this guy - first of all, he's not even around to be a boyfriend (he lives somewhere else) and he's told you he wants to be "friends" (code for "I'm not interested"). And, if he's hung up on his ex and pulls disappearing acts, he's just not really a good choice even if he were interested. It's not to be the typical knee-jerk "kick him to the curb" responses you typically find here -but why would you want this? And what is a long-distance "relationship" anyway? That in general is something I've never understood. Don't you want a partner who is actually "real life" and not virtual? I know it's hard when we have a spark with someone, but this guy's not offering you anything.

[hearings]

I hate to sound snarky, but why would you want to be "back" with this guy - first of all, he's not even around to be a boyfriend (he lives somewhere else) and he's told you he wants to be "friends" (code for "I'm not interested"). And, if he's hung up on his ex and pulls disappearing acts, he's just not really a good choice even if he were interested. It's not to be the typical knee-jerk "kick him to the curb" responses you typically find here -but why would you want this? And what is a long-distance "relationship" anyway? That in general is something I've never understood. Don't you want a partner who is actually "real life" and not virtual? I know it's hard when we have a spark with someone, but this guy's not offering you anything.

 

I know a lot of people who are doing long distance and have meaningful relationships. And me and this guy are not THAT long distance. And this guy is not virtual? We meet occasionally. And he used to be interested before, now he isn't. I know that. But he still thinks that I'm a beautiful girl and he still likes my personality and cares about me. Nothing says he can't get interested again. I'm not gonna WAIT for him though. Just wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and if the person ever wanted a second chance.

Edited January 22, 2017 by hearings