Does she want me back?

[manchesterlad2017]

Hi All

 

I split up from my girlfriend of 7 years last January 2016. Since then ive got on with my life, but if im honest I have missed her, but it was clear she didn't miss me. I have still been in touch on occasions to see how her daughter is (12) as I was in her life for 7 years and loved her like my own.

I sent them both Christmas cards and gave her daughter a presents for Christmas. But other than that I haven't seen either of them for months.

Then out of the blue I texted her to see how her daughter was and she replied saying that she missed me massively, had thoughts loads about getting back together but obviously was wary about it going wrong again. The long and the short of why we broke up was I was going through major issues in my life some of which I hadn't resolved for years. As a consequence our sex life suffered for months. But she couldn't take the rejection any longer. I completely understood and said I would get help. But this was too late for her and we mutually split up. There was no shouting etc, it was a calm split.

Since then in the last 10-12 months ive had counselling and changed my life around for the better. And yes I would love her back, but I don't know how she feels. That was until the text a week ago. So I have written her a letter explaining how I feel and what I would love to happen. But I have also mentioned in the letter that Im not going to put any pressure on her. I still love her, and if anything I love her even more now. I realise I let her down, but I wasn't myself. I cant change what happened before, only going forward.

So my questions is why did she mention that she misses me and that she had thought loads of times about getting back together? Apart from the letter I sent I don't know what to do next. I could ask to meet with her in person, but as she said she has been avoiding me for a reason she hasn't explained. However she did text me to say that she had split from the guy she was with as he wasn't for her (her actual words). She said that she wanted to meet up in the coming weeks to talk. And that she misses our friendship, but wasn't promising anything more than friendship at this stage. What im I supposed to think about all this?

[Ieris]

Hard to tell because it's not uncommon for exes to come crawling back when their new relationships fail, so don't get your hopes up.

 

I had 4 exes get back in touch with me last year, I only replied to 2 and yes they had just broken up. Spoke to them for a bit as a friend and they love bringing up old times.. I didn't read too much into it as I'm completely over them and not fussed whether they're in my life or not.

 

As you still have feelings for your ex you will be looking for signs to get back together. You have already told her that you're opened to the idea of getting back together, the ball is in her court so leave her to think about it. Just carry on working on yourself and see how things go. Good luck!

[BAcK]

Ieris is right. Most of the time, we need an emotional support right after a break up. As such, the easiest source are our exes.

I wouldn't read much into it unless she makes it clear that she wants to try again with you. Obviously if you still want her back.

[EveryWomanJ2911]

This is quite an ordeal to go through! There are several people to consider here if you do get involved with this woman again, including the child. I wonder what its like for her as her mother jumps from relationship to relationship over the past year. The most important question you need to ask yourself though is do you think that this relationship would grow into a healthy one? Do you want this woman in your life again because its the best choice for you both, or is it simply the only choice for each of you at the moment? Really consider why things didn't work out previously and then sort it out in your heart and mind what is the best course of action here. If you decide to not proceed then making a clean break, meaning no friendship at all, is probably best for all involved...or it would just get confusing again.

 

If you decide to pursue this to see where it leads, maybe you should work up a list first to figure out what needs to change in order to go forward as a couple. However, if you are just keeping your options open so as not to be alone anymore...its probably best to drop the whole idea. We each need to be with someone we can trust, who shares our relationship goals, and who holds our values. So, unless something major has changed in her views about life, there's really nothing to keep things from going bad like they did before. Has she had a major heart change? Or is she just looking for some consolation from being rejected herself? Chances are its the latter of the two if she only contacted you after her breakup. Please proceed with caution and be aware of the many different moving parts to this situation friend.

 

Blessings and Peaceful Prayers to you!