stillafool Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 And yes it's true he does have a lot of options but I thought I was different to him. I didn't want to be like the RS. Especially when he kept saying how comfortable he feels with me and wishes we met sooner. Can't help but feeling that maybe my Inexperience got him What is about the above statement that would make you think you were "different"? What he said was a general statement, not a declaration of love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 He certainly meant it when he said those things but that wasn't enough to make him pursue you further. Just because you are interested in him does not make him interested in you enough to want more. That's okay. We don't always get who and what we want in life so we have to keep pushing forward. Yes thank you...I need to move on... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Thank you everyone....I need to take off these rose colored glasses lol Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Why unfollow me 3 weeks after? Did he really need that much time to process my reaction? I don't use Instagram but whenever I unfollow anyone on Facebook or anywhere else, it is because I dont want to see their updates. And why I dont want to see their updates is because I dont consider them an important part of my life anymore. I delete friends frequently on social media and many times it is also because they hurt me or were rude to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 And yes it's true he does have a lot of options but I thought I was different to him. I didn't want to be like the RS. Especially when he kept saying how comfortable he feels with me and wishes we met sooner. Can't help but feeling that maybe my Inexperience got him I'm sure he feels comfortable with any woman he's about to bed and in his horny haze wishes he had met her sooner. You didn't seem like the type to slit his throat in the middle of the night...so he was good. Think about it. He's horny and trying to get lucky. He's trying to get you comfy with the idea of sleeping with him. What is he supposed to say? I'm going to hit it and run like the wind afterwards? Any buttons popping or zippers rolling after that??? You're hanging on to throw away words and phrases and reading meaning and promises where none exist. It wasn't your inexperience. It wasn't something you did. It was a one and done. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethIII Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Why unfollow me 3 weeks after? Did he really need that much time to process my reaction? He forgot you were on there? He doesnt look at it much and when he went back on after not looking for 3 weeks, he remembered and unfollowed you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 He forgot you were on there? He doesnt look at it much and when he went back on after not looking for 3 weeks, he remembered and unfollowed you. No no in hose 3 weeks he was active and even looking at my videos Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 I'm sure he feels comfortable with any woman he's about to bed and in his horny haze wishes he had met her sooner. You didn't seem like the type to slit his throat in the middle of the night...so he was good. Think about it. He's horny and trying to get lucky. He's trying to get you comfy with the idea of sleeping with him. What is he supposed to say? I'm going to hit it and run like the wind afterwards? Any buttons popping or zippers rolling after that??? You're hanging on to throw away words and phrases and reading meaning and promises where none exist. It wasn't your inexperience. It wasn't something you did. It was a one and done. Yeah but he said the the first date and I rejected him...I didn't bed him then. Next day he asked out to dinner again Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Btw I am 30 and he 50....We talked some time before meeting How much is "some time"? Still---if you don't want to end up a FWB, I'd suggest don't sleep with the guy too soon. Yes, some people have successful relationships that last through marriage, children, retirement and finally death, but they are a distinct minority. Plenty more men ascribe to what this guy has done--if it's offered up, hit it and quit it. Human nature is what it is and that has nothing to do with age. If he doesn't have to/want to commit, he's not going to. You can't sex a man into a relationship he has no intention on being in. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yeah but he said the the first date and I rejected him...I didn't bed him then. Next day he asked out to dinner again He knew you were ripe and gave it one more try. Bingo it worked. That's okay because you wanted the sex too. Hope it was good. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 How much is "some time"? Still---if you don't want to end up a FWB, I'd suggest don't sleep with the guy too soon. Yes, some people have successful relationships that last through marriage, children, retirement and finally death, but they are a distinct minority. Plenty more men ascribe to what this guy has done--if it's offered up, hit it and quit it. Human nature is what it is and that has nothing to do with age. If he doesn't have to/want to commit, he's not going to. You can't sex a man into a relationship he has no intention on being in. Haven't read through this thread yet, so sorry if this was answered above--just direct me to the post #. Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yeah but he said the the first date and I rejected him...I didn't bed him then. Next day he asked out to dinner again So he asked you the first date and you said no. He tried again the next time and you went with it. And you can't see that was probably his main intention? And based on your distance, etc. probably what he thought was the arrangement. He would come to town, you hang out, you hook up, and he head's home. Sometimes you spend the night and they ask you to stay because maybe you will have fun in the morning. Maybe you stay for the same reason. It can be that simple. Many people have that scenario in mind and that is it. He treated you the way he did because he was in the moment. And that is a good thing, cause would you want him to be rude and uncaring? I have had it happen, we all have. But even though it sucked and I learned my lesson, I quickly moved on and realized it's all it was. You have to do the same. Don't worry what he did with your social media. It means nothing and is the most impersonal thing out there. My best friends and I barely speak through social media. That is saved for acquaintances. Some of my favorite IG people are those who I will never meet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 All potential relationships are a crap shoot. Like I said above, some people make a lasting relationship out of a one night stand... and that has a lot to do with where each of them is in terms of wanting to allow someone into their vulnerability. If one of the two cannot tolerate anyone getting that emotionally close, then they're not going to pursue that. They will see if they can get sex and hey, if you just want to get an itch scratched, as along as you know that this is all you're after, then cool--have at it. But if you're wanting to find someone with whom you can be vulnerable in intimacy and sex, you have to be completely clear with them and be OK with them walking away upon hearing what you want. If you say to yourself "I'll have sex with him and then that will mean he's my boyfriend and we're in a relationship", then you're going to end up hurt and without what you're after. You can't sell yourself out trying to machine an outcome with someone who has a right not to want the same outcome as you. And you can't be afraid to speak up for yourself and your own interests because you're afraid of coming across as "not nice". Bump that when it's you who may end up further away from what you wanted than where you started. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 So he asked you the first date and you said no. He tried again the next time and you went with it. And you can't see that was probably his main intention? And based on your distance, etc. probably what he thought was the arrangement. He would come to town, you hang out, you hook up, and he head's home. Sometimes you spend the night and they ask you to stay because maybe you will have fun in the morning. Maybe you stay for the same reason. It can be that simple. Many people have that scenario in mind and that is it. He treated you the way he did because he was in the moment. And that is a good thing, cause would you want him to be rude and uncaring? I have had it happen, we all have. But even though it sucked and I learned my lesson, I quickly moved on and realized it's all it was. You have to do the same. Don't worry what he did with your social media. It means nothing and is the most impersonal thing out there. My best friends and I barely speak through social media. That is saved for acquaintances. Some of my favorite IG people are those who I will never meet. Yeah next morning he had a flight out Link to post Share on other sites
selinaluv Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 (edited) Yeah next morning he had a flight out Unfortunately I have a feeling the situation would have been the same whether you slept with him or not. Don't beat yourself up over it. I actually have a similar situation happening right now. We connected by accident when I was traveling recently. We are messaging, having good conversation, he comes my way often. Says he plans to visit. I am realistic and know what could potentially happen if he does. That is a decision I will make. But I am aware of the consequences and realistic about his intentions. Edited January 25, 2017 by selinaluv 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HazelBliss Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 OK so i met this Man and he was so nice, complementing me, said he felt good with me, we had dinner talked laughed even went on a walk. First date nothing happened but second date I slept with him. He doesn't live in the same town as me but said he will make a plan to see each other in NYC..But after we slept together the next morning we said goodbye...He said bye beautiful was fun....Criquets......It's been 3 weeks and no communication from him and yesterday he unfollowed me on Instagram. I don't know if it's something I did....That I didn't text him....Or was this just fun for him? Even if it was just "fun" wouldn't he go back for more fun if it was actually fun? Men risk it all for women they want.. even when they're cheating (personal experience) smh.. so maybe the experience just wasn't worth another trip which is horrible to say, but a possibility. But there could be other reasons of course. Dont sweat over some wealthy old man who probably has herpes and HPV. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 (edited) No no in hose 3 weeks he was active and even looking at my videos I'm beginning to think you're more upset about losing a follower than losing him. No,I'm not serious,but you're waaay to hung up on that point. The only explanation any male or male psychologist could give you for why he did that would be a guess based on reasons they and most men they heard of have would do it- they have no need or desire to have any more ties with you. Don't wrack your brain about it. Consider it a learning experience. It sounded like this was a long distance thing too? Edited January 25, 2017 by Cookiesandough 3 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yeah but he said the the first date and I rejected him...I didn't bed him then. Next day he asked out to dinner again So, he needed to throw a few more sweet nothings and another dinner into his efforts. That still doesn't mean he's looking for more than a little fun on his weekend fly-by. Stop thinking that generic sweet nothings somehow indicate a man wants a relationship with you. Continue to believe this and the next player will swoop in, do the same thing, and leave you perseverating yet again over the same questions. Please look for consistent action and commitment over time from the guy. (No. Messaging sweet nothings long-distance "every so often," doesn't count, especially when as you admit, he's juggling other women even as he chats you up long distance.) Yeah next morning he had a flight out Mission accomplished despite your Friday night hesitation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 I'm beginning to think you're more upset about losing a follower than losing him. No,I'm not serious,but you're waaay to hung up on that point. The only explanation any male or male psychologist could give you for why he did that would be a guess based on reasons they and most men they heard of have would do it- they have no need or desire to have any more ties with you. Don't wrack your brain about it. Consider it a learning experience. It sounded like this was a long distance thing too? Yes it was long distance....I didn't even know he was flying in...he stayed a week and I later messaged me 2 days before leaving to ask me out. I'm confused that he did it 3 weeks after the meeting! Not a day after or a couple of days. I mean I was posting and he watched my videos....That's what bothers me..I sense like maybe he didn't know if he wanted to see me again .... Link to post Share on other sites
PinkPampies Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Yes it was long distance....I didn't even know he was flying in...he stayed a week and I later messaged me 2 days before leaving to ask me out. I'm confused that he did it 3 weeks after the meeting! Not a day after or a couple of days. I mean I was posting and he watched my videos....That's what bothers me..I sense like maybe he didn't know if he wanted to see me again .... Well... you clearly have your answer now. Time to get over the hang up of the "3 weeks" thing. It's irrelevant if it was 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months. He's. not. Interested. Anymore. In addition, he was home for several days before even contacting you. You were an afterthought. Now that you have your answers, embrace the hurt so you can move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
KathL Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 No no in hose 3 weeks he was active and even looking at my videos Enough with all the dwelling on.. dont try to understand why he unfollowed.. now move on to the next guy.. take it as a lesson learned.. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Yes I know..I am moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 mostly was talking about himself, ^^^Never a good sign. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lily999 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Not a good sign. I had some similar experience with a guy not more than a month ago. Before sex he would text me lots. later it changed He is very attractive and seemed nice&sweet. After our first meeting I contacted him first on the same day. He replied me like half an hour later. After that day he would initiate the contact, either texted me or phoned me first. He also sent me mixed signals making me feel that he wanted something more. (I guess he just wanted the fun one more time, then he was done) After the second meeting, he ghosted on me, and I didn't contact him either. About two weeks later I texted him first and said that I missed him, only to be told that he had "met someone at work, and had been out for a few dates already". I was kinda sad and but I moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VictoriaB Posted January 28, 2017 Author Share Posted January 28, 2017 Not a good sign. I had some similar experience with a guy not more than a month ago. Before sex he would text me lots. later it changed He is very attractive and seemed nice&sweet. After our first meeting I contacted him first on the same day. He replied me like half an hour later. After that day he would initiate the contact, either texted me or phoned me first. He also sent me mixed signals making me feel that he wanted something more. (I guess he just wanted the fun one more time, then he was done) After the second meeting, he ghosted on me, and I didn't contact him either. About two weeks later I texted him first and said that I missed him, only to be told that he had "met someone at work, and had been out for a few dates already". I was kinda sad and but I moved on. Yeah...Sorry what happened to you hun Link to post Share on other sites
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