Pod81 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I'm currently engaged to my wonderful girlfriend and have been living with her for over a year now, but the big thing that worries me is her mother. I never realized it was that big of an issue until I asked her mother for her permission in marriage. She goes about a long winded discussion about how her daughter never moved back since leaving for college 15 years ago. This mother is VERY traditional (from third world Asia) and has failed to assimilate to American culture. She still lives in a world where the children are not expected to be career-driven and must move back with the parents to help around the house. She went as far to say that she didn't want her daughter to go to Berkeley (one of the top universities in the US). This is when it hit me just how selfish she is. Most immigrants come to the US in order for their kids to get a good education and become successful and independent. For her to say otherwise just says how messed up her priorities are! In addition, her mom was in a borderline abusive relationship with the father and practically has no friends - which I believe contributes to her need of constant reassurance (at the sacrifice of her childrens' well-being). To make matters worse, she also has been diagnosed with a mental condition. Not sure if it was bipolar, schizophrenia, etc? My fiancee has mentioned that she does not plan on being in close contact with her mother and can only handle her in small doses, but would this still be a red flag? What if her mother tries to barge into our lives? What if she demands that we support her financially and emotionally? Lastly, I am a believer that you are a product of your upbringing. My fiancee is a wonderful, nurturing person but what if she becomes anything like her mother in the future? Is this fear of coming from a dysfunctional, broken home legitimate? Link to post Share on other sites
Nadine123 Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 Lastly, I am a believer that you are a product of your upbringing. My fiancee is a wonderful, nurturing person but what if she becomes anything like her mother in the future? Is this fear of coming from a dysfunctional, broken home legitimate? That is not true. I have a verbally abusive mother and I would never treat the person Im with or anyone else that way. Im 26. Link to post Share on other sites
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