Being the single friend

[amkxoxo]

Sometimes its easy to be hard on yourself, instead of seeing the bigger picture. Just recently I realized that sometimes what others have isn't all fairy tales and rainbows. My friend met her boyfriend on OKCupid. She had been on there for a while talking to all different guys. All the men she was talking to she gave chances. She was open to it. The only reason she is even with her boyfriend now is because he is the only guy that stuck around and kept talking to her. If any one of those other men stuck around, she would have a totally different boyfriend now. To me, she claims she got lucky and it was meant to be etc... But the way I see it, she just stuck with whomever stuck with her. Doesn't mean she doesn't like him, but personally I have more standards than that. Just because you don't leave me, doesn't mean I will love you. Like, literally the only reason she is even with this guy is because the others stopped talking to her. Makes me feel a bit better about things. My other friend has been with her boyfriend since college, so almost 5 years now. I think its great. They are solid. I don't find him to be the best catch or my type, but she likes him. I also think she never met anyone else. She has no idea what else is out there. She never had anyone else. She's smart, cute, and a great catch, whom I think could have found a more intelligent, motivated, and adorable guy. Also, what makes me laugh hysterically is my two girl friends I mentioned are talking about marriage. My OkCupid friend has only been with this guy for two months and she keeps talking about marriage and that if he proposed tomorrow she wouldn't hesitate. These two guys, both still live with their parents. They haven't moved out of their homes. It makes me laugh that my two girl friend think that these two guys are going to propose. If they don't even have money to split rent, what makes them think they have money to buy a ring and afford a wedding?

 

I pride myself in being a hopeless romantic, while also being realistic. I want to grow myself. I want to have as great career, car, place to live, and I want a guy who mostly has his stuff together. I don't want to force a marriage and then we struggle. I want to start off being able to go on vacations and enjoy being together without monetary troubles to fight over. I know I can't afford a child right now. I barely afford myself. So I'm just not at that point. I'd rather save and have a nice wedding, then rush and only get what I can afford, which would be minimal.

 

So I can imagine how hard it is seeing all of your friends and family having this totally different lifestyle and being frustrated, but hopefully give it time and the right person will come along. I'm hoping that me being single, talking to people, and meeting people will lead me to someone great, and I'm hoping everyone will be jealous.

[GeorgeWP93]

I'm exactly the same as you, my friends are great but like you say nights out include everyone and I get along with the girlfriends really well but it's just uncomfortable for me, I get home from work after a hard day, knackered. My friends don't message me to ask how my days been particularly, they've got there partners and own life I understand this but they don't understand what it's like to be single.

 

Sometimes you just want a night with your friends, I have to tell them, just a lads night, they aren't all like this but as a 23 year old male, living in a small town with 2 pubs it's very difficult to meet new people. I don't have many hobbies, I like jiu jitsu but after I've had a hard day, dinner and a shower the last thing i want to do is drive 40 minutes to the nearest place.

 

It's very hard and life gets repetitive when you work hard, get home, shower, eat, sit, sleep and do it all over again.

 

I get to the weekends and ask my friends what they're up to and most of the time they either don't have the money to do anything fun or have plans with the partners. It's frustrating and I miss having a girlfriend even if I do enjoy being single.

[amkxoxo]

Yes yes I totally see where you are coming from. I go to work, sometimes hit the gym, go home, eat, relax, and sleep. Every day is uneventful for the most part. I find myself grasping for socialization sometimes. And when I need it, no one is around. I sometimes find myself a bit depressed. Living alone can do that I think. I try and keep my head up and look at all the good I have in my life. Its tough, I want to share that good with someone else. I want to make plans with someone and have a support system. I want to give that to someone too. Its hard being alone most of your time. I feel like I'm wasting my life and looking back I will regret being alone so much. I can't just run out tomorrow and meet someone perfect.