Can the relationship be salvaged?

[Uturn11]

Hey guys,

 

so this is my first post ever on this site, after reading many threads I believe I can get some real honest opinions as to what the hell is going on.

 

So first of all I am 25 years old while I write this but I was 18 years old when I got with my now ex partner. she is 6 months older than me.

 

So I was with my partner since February 2010 and she broke up with me December 2016. We had a relationship where everything moved really fast and we truly loved each other. we had been together for 6 months before we moved city together and started living together. in the early days of our relationship things were hard but always worth the battle because we were both really happy. one night I had a stupid drunk night out and met with a girl that I went to high school with and we had unexplored feelings for one another so it led to me cheating on my partner. I told my partner straight away and hid nothing from her. That was about 10 months into our relationship it took her a good 2 years to overcome the heartache that I caused her but we did work through it. So at this stage we are about 3 years into the relationship and a girl from my work was very interested in me, this lead to some extremely flirty text messages. on my end I didn't actually encourage these messages but at the same time I didn't really stop them completely. My partner saw my phone and the messages and we had another rough patch. At this stage I know that I did not deserve another chance but she gave me one anyway.

 

our relationship progressed to the point that we joined our money and were saving for a house deposit and agreed to try to have children. in fact I was planning on asking her to marry me about 2 months after the break up so feb 2017.

 

so its debateable that I should have seen a break up coming due to my mistakes early on in the relationship, but I truly did not see it coming.

 

I would say the last maybe 6 months of our relationship was bad in the way that there was no communication and very little love shown towards each other. I didn't think much of it because we had been dating for nearly 7 years and lived together for 6.5 years. I thought of it just as a bit of a stale timeframe( we had been through them before ).

 

So what made her actually initiate the break up was we had a meeting with a mortgage broker about a home loan, so we were about to take the next step in our relationship. the day before the meeting she spills everything saying she hasn't been happy in ages and had developed feelings for a guy she has known for about a year at work.

 

So she proceeded to break up with me and tell me that there wasn't anything going on with this other dude. But now its been about a month since the break up and she still calls me crying saying she misses me and does not want me to disappear but is now sleeping with the other guy.

 

I told her to not contact me anymore after I seen a used condom at her place while I was grabbing some of my belongings. she got really upset at the thought that I potentially hated her for what she had done and that we might not talk ever again.

 

The last time I talked to her she said she was very confused and she said that she doesn't know what she has done and its too late to come back from everything. she didn't exactly say anything about regretting the break up but isn't making it easy on me with all these mixed signals.

 

Our anniversary is on Feb 20th this year and she said she wants to see me on that date.

 

First of all... should I actually meet up with her? why do you think she wants to meet with me? I really hope she doesn't want to meet with me to say that she has progressed with this other guy and she wants me around just as a friend. I am in no way ready for that because I still deeply love her and she's still all I think of.

 

So yeah in your opinion is this relationship over for good or do you think it has signs of being able to be rekindled?

 

sorry for the long novel

[mccluskeyj17]

A relationship can be salvaged if both parties are willing to put in the work. When trust has been broken it can be hard to get it back. Your ex has already entered into another relationship yet she is still reaching out to you. You have to guard your heart if you are still vulnerable. Because you have lived together for 6.5 years, she knows you to a degree. I am assuming that you all have talked since the condom situation. You have to decide what you are willing to endure. You’ve probably heard the saying, “follow your heart.” Sometimes you can’t trust your heart because it can lead you into some situations that you scratch your head wondering how you got there. There are times when we have to tell our hearts what to do. Ex. My heart tells me to get involved with a (married) man. In this case, it would not be good to follow my heart because this man is already in a relationship. So I would have to tell my heart no, this man is off limits.

 

Because this young lady has already entered into another relationship, I would not encourage you to meet with her because her heart is divided. And to entertain it will possible cause you more pain than what you have already experienced. We all can give you our opinions but in the end you have to decide if this relationship is over or not.