nobodyIam Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Same thing happens every time I meet a girl lately. I meet them, have a small chat, she seems enthusiastic (we dance,etc), and then she gives me number. I wait a day and then text her and we start chatting. After a day or two I ask if she'd like to go out (coffee or anything else I pick up as we chat) and then she mostly says she's busy and the chatting part drops down. And that's it, I recognize that she's not interested so I drop it. This has happened few times in last few months. I tried asking 2 female friends but I doubt they are honest with me :/ . Is there a way I could find out where do I mess up? Same thing is with current girl I'm chatting with, I asked her out once she behaved like I didnt ask but turned enthusiasm up, so I decided to ask her out again a week later (I dont usually do this,but I took a risk),same thing happened. Should I try one more time or just give up once again? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Same thing happens every time I meet a girl lately. I meet them, have a small chat, she seems enthusiastic (we dance,etc), and then she gives me number. *I wait a day and then text her and we start chatting. After a day or two I ask if she'd like to go out (coffee or anything else I pick up as we chat) and then she mostly says she's busy and the chatting part drops down. And that's it, I recognize that she's not interested so I drop it. This has happened few times in last few months. I tried asking 2 female friends but I doubt they are honest with me :/ . Is there a way I could find out where do I mess up? Same thing is with current girl I'm chatting with, I asked her out once she behaved like I didnt ask but turned enthusiasm up, so I decided to ask her out again a week later (I dont usually do this,but I took a risk),same thing happened. Should I try one more time or just give up once again? Too much waiting. Too much of nothing happening. Offer a definite invitation right away. "Would you like to go/see/do {definite thing} with me on {definite day}? If she's busy on that day, offer an alternative definite time, there and then. Make it something more interesting than coffee. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nobodyIam Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Too much waiting. Too much of nothing happening. Offer a definite invitation right away. "Would you like to go/see/do {definite thing} with me on {definite day}? If she's busy on that day, offer an alternative definite time, there and then. Make it something more interesting than coffee. Take care. So you think I should just direclty ask them out asap? My invitation is definite, if I pick up that she likes certain music I ask her if she'd like to go at the club/concert where this music is played, or if she likes certain cake I'd ask her to go for a cake with me on saturday (or what ever day), coffee is only if I cant come up with anything more interesting. I never ask for "today", I ask few days in advance. If she doesnt say "yeah I cant on saturday,but I can any other day" ieg., I drop it. I'm not hurt so much by rejection (I'm kind of imune to it by now),but rather I'd like to analyze my failures and learn something from them. Thank you for response 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 What Satu said. Right away. Skip the texting, skip the chatting; save it for your date. . Call her up on the phone. Nobody does that anymore, it will make you stand out as bold. Then, invite said girl on a date. If she begs off with the excuse of other obligations, take her at her word. Suggest another day. Be nice about it, but don't get off the phone until she hangs up on you, or accepts or declines the date. You'll get immediate feedback, some negative, some positive, but two things are certain: You won't waste time chatting anymore. You can't do any worse than you are now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 *So you think I should just directly ask them out asap? My invitation is definite, **if I pick up that she likes certain music I ask her if she'd like to go at the club/concert where this music is played, or if she likes certain cake I'd ask her to go for a cake with me on saturday (or what ever day), coffee is only if I can't come up with anything more interesting. I never ask for "today", I ask few days in advance. If she doesnt say "yeah I cant on saturday,but I can any other day" ieg., I drop it. I'm not hurt so much by rejection (I'm kind of imune to it by now),but rather I'd like to analyze my failures and learn something from them. Thank you for response *Yes, right away. **Invite her to something of your choosing. Don't follow. Lead. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 *Yes, right away. **Invite her to something of your choosing. Don't follow. Lead. Take care. This! And to address your title question: There is likely nothing wrong with you at all, just maybe with your approach. There is no time like the present! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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