Tossed to the trash bin again [UPDATE: How long for the obsessive thoughts to end?]

[escapefantasy]

Exmm has dug him self into a hole with mutual friends been no contact with many of them for almost a year now. He's since with his w scouting out mutual friends of these people that I have gotten close to since we went no contact. I left our mutual friends and started to socialize with others to distant my self from both of them. I feel like they think it's a game who is going win over the friendships. I don't want to play it but I get so angry that I left good friends for the time to distant my self from him and his w why can't he do the same thing? Why can't he move on to people I don't social with and have the same respect to make distance instead he has created I feel like a competition to win the friendships. I won't play the game and I have heard people call him a narcissist looking for supply as I sit quiet when ever either of there names comes up. And if the convos stay on them I leave for the bathroom or to another area out of my hearing. So do I again let him take the social life I made since no contact and disappear again? Or do I put up with prob seeing them both at social events? I don't talk to him text social media nothing but he's in every corner with third party right now. If I was out with a social group a week later I hear of them out with the same people and these people he would have had to reach out too. WHY ? Any suggestions how to handle to keep both of them in no contact

[Spring23]

Thank you I'm doing my best to stay positive. Going to an event this weekend that ex mm and his w might be at. I'm having anxiety about it but I know I will have more supportive people around me then they both will. That's what happens when you burn people with lies and deceive them like they both have. Why I get so mad at my self that I miss him so much his path of character is not a good one with other people. I'm learning and keep telling my self the man I knew him as is not the man other people know him. Did I know the fake guy or the real guy? That's what I'm playing with in my mind now. Again venting on a late night but I am enjoying the night distracting my self doing things I like on my own at home.

 

I'm new to this thread but not new to obsessive thoughts. If you want to stop thinking about him and this mess you both made then you'll need to work on refocusing your mind on healthy & productive activities. The more you post here about him the more you'll think about him and that will encourage the obsessive thinking.

 

I'm not sure you're ready to stop thinking about him.