NC-related question

[jah526]

Three weeks no contact today. However, people at work are starting to notice since we used to hang out a lot. Someone asked me about it today and I said I didn't think he was my friend. I just left it at that, but maybe I should've made some excuse or said I've been too busy lately. I know he wanted to keep up the charade of being friends but I just can't do that. What's the best way to handle this?

[jennifernyc84]

I don't think you need an excuse, Jah. It's no ones business but yours and his.

 

I don't think you should pretend to be his friend either, for other people's sakes.

 

That being said...the answer that you made sounded like you were a bit bitter. I know you are lol but you don't want to raise suspicions, do you?

 

Next time someone's asks, I would just kinda brush it off like it was nothing. Just casually say you don't have time or you grew apart. Use your own words, but you get what I'm saying.

[Poppy47]

Yes, just say you have been busy with other things. Nobody else's business.

 

Poppy.

[FortyandForlorn]

Yes, just say you have been busy with other things. Nobody else's business.

 

Poppy.

 

This exactly. I know people at work noticed when we stopped hanging out, but most had the sense to not ask about it.

[HeCantBreakMe]

People still ask me about xmm.. I just shrug and politely change the conversation or walk away. I don't want to be asked or told anything about him.

 

Let people think what they will.. the most important thing is that you don't get info on him.. it only could cause possible harm to you.

[jah526]

Thanks for the replies. Probably should've given a little more info. The guy that asked me was his cubicle mate. I was friends with him before I became friends with MM. He was wondering why I didn't come around anymore, because I used to hang out with both of them often, and thoroughly enjoyed their company. He sort of guessed that it was because of this guy.

 

I am feeling this loss quite a bit for this reason. I miss being able to hang out with both of them. But I am making more allies in my own department, probably due to being around more, so I guess that's a plus.

 

I was already feeling kind of low because of this today, and then late in the day I got hit with some bad news and wanted to turn to the one person that I'd been closest to. It came on like a tidal wave, and I wanted to send him a text message and apologize for not talking to him, the whole nine yards. Instead I called my brother and he said, yeah, he may be able to help you out, but he's going to want something in return. Talked me off the ledge. Again.

 

I think Jen NYC and I are headed towards calmer waters but right now these surprise waves are just no fun.

[jennifernyc84]

Thanks for the replies. Probably should've given a little more info. The guy that asked me was his cubicle mate. I was friends with him before I became friends with MM. He was wondering why I didn't come around anymore, because I used to hang out with both of them often, and thoroughly enjoyed their company. He sort of guessed that it was because of this guy.

 

I am feeling this loss quite a bit for this reason. I miss being able to hang out with both of them. But I am making more allies in my own department, probably due to being around more, so I guess that's a plus.

 

I was already feeling kind of low because of this today, and then late in the day I got hit with some bad news and wanted to turn to the one person that I'd been closest to. It came on like a tidal wave, and I wanted to send him a text message and apologize for not talking to him, the whole nine yards. Instead I called my brother and he said, yeah, he may be able to help you out, but he's going to want something in return. Talked me off the ledge. Again.

 

I think Jen NYC and I are headed towards calmer waters but right now these surprise waves are just no fun.

 

Thank goodness for your brother. Glad to hear you're doing better. I know how hard it is when those tidal waves come. No fun is an understatement!

 

Ugh! Last night Jah, I don't even know who that person was but I assure you it was NOT me! I hope you're right about the calm waters. For you and me both.