Advice Needed

[John]

I have a friend that I met when she was 2 months pregnant. That's not the problem though. Problem is that I've known her for a year now, and I'm starting to have feelings towards her. I told her about it, and she was like "If you need space it don't bother me". So again I asked if she was willing to be with me and she said "But we're good friends now, and I don't want to risk our friendship over a relationship". So my question is this, Should I back off completely to the point where I'll only say "hi" and "bye"?? Or should I stay like before. But I don't think it's fair on me. Anyone welcome to give me advice.

[Tony T]

No, it's not fair or nice to yourself to hang around and be "just" friends with someone for whom you have greater feelings.

 

You need to get over her before the friendship can resume the way it used to be. Let her know you want to retain the friendship but that you will be making yourself a bit scarse until you can shake off some of these feelings for her that you've acquired.

 

One day, she will become romantically involved with someone and chances are good you won't be able to carry on much of a friendship with her anyway. And when she gets married and has children, she'll hardly have time to say hello to you on the phone.

 

I know, I've been there.

[sparkle]

I've been there too...on both sides.

 

I've been the girl who's said these exact words:

said "But we're good friends now, and I don't want to risk our friendship over a relationship".

And I said those because I did not want anything more than friendship from that particular friend.

 

So unless you stop liking her more than a friend and can be friends with her without letting your feelings get in the way, it's a good idea to back off. Don't torture yourself by hanging out with her if you still like her.

 

And I've been the one that stayed in a "friendship" for a year with someone I was crazy about....hoping...just hoping that person would maybe change their mind one day. It was terrible. Torture indeed. After a year and still the same feelings about him, I had to finally step away and decide, I can't take this anymore!

 

Actually, that was when I graduated high school and never saw my teacher again. Same difference.

[amazonjones]

ya back off kid give it some space to heal that bolt of lightning and seek out another friend to be with and do give her space she will call you when shes ready for you to be what/ thats anyone guess. but dont tourcher your self there is someone for everyone and if your lucky you find them early.

I have a friend that I met when she was 2 months pregnant. That's not the problem though. Problem is that I've known her for a year now, and I'm starting to have feelings towards her. I told her about it, and she was like "If you need space it don't bother me". So again I asked if she was willing to be with me and she said "But we're good friends now, and I don't want to risk our friendship over a relationship". So my question is this, Should I back off completely to the point where I'll only say "hi" and "bye"?? Or should I stay like before. But I don't think it's fair on me. Anyone welcome to give me advice.