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BF said he loved me already after only 2 months.

IhavenoFREAKINclue

By IhavenoFREAKINclue,
in Long-Distance Relationships

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

IhavenoFREAKINclue

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I like by BF, a lot. We make a great match, everything is good.....yada yada. Yesterday he told me he loved me! I almost laughed in his face! I said he couldn't be serious. He said that I didn't have to say it back, when I'm ready I can. He just wanted to let me know. I wasn't scared away or anything. I told him I'm sorry but I don't love you. He wasn't hurt. He understood that it was kind of soon but he knows what he feels. I told him it was puppy love and he needs to settle down. He said he was sorry but he had to let me know. I really don't want to mess this relationship up. (seems like he's the one doing it tho) Things were kind of awkward after that but I made light of the situation and said "If you really love me you would <insert favor here>. And of course he did it. Should I go on like he said nothing? Psycho or puppy love?

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

IhavenoFREAKINclue

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Originally posted by Outcast

The early-in-the-relationship infatuation that people always think is love.

 

Ok Good that's what I thought. So why is it that I don't have that feeling?

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Outcast

Outcast

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So why is it that I don't have that feeling?

 

There's no rule that says you have to. Just because some people fall into infatuation easily doesn't mean that everybody does. It's easier if one of you hasn't because if you both think you're 'in love', you're in danger of deciding to get married right away or something equally unwise. This way at least one of you has a grip on reality. It takes time to truly fall in love, after all.

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

IhavenoFREAKINclue

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Originally posted by Outcast

This way at least one of you has a grip on reality. It takes time to truly fall in love, after all.

 

Great advice, Thanx OC!

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A Fly onThe Wall

A Fly onThe Wall

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Originally posted by soccorsilly

I love you!

 

your just infatuated soccor .. Give it time and tell her again :)

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Jolene

Jolene

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You really know if someone loves you if they can take the bad with the good and are there for you when life events happen that are not necessarily convenient or self-gratifying.

 

I think you get that, and instead of saying "I love you" he would have been wiser to say something like "it sure would be easy to fall in love with someone as wonderful as you".

 

Do be careful and watch out for any kind of personality traits which might indicate a disorder such as, oh I dunno, 'Sociopathic personality disorder'....sometimes these types of people like to hurry up and nail you emotionally so they can work on what they really want....your money, your life and your soul. You think at first that they have no control over their emotions (love, sadness, anger), but really they use emotional warfare to get what they want....you! your loved ones! and their loved ones!

 

Then again, some people wear their hearts on their sleeves and can't help it.

 

A word of advice....if this guy becomes belligerent or otherwise dramatic when things don't go his way, run like hell! It's a sign that you're seeing the tip of the iceburg.

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UltimateZen

UltimateZen

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Ahhhhh.....rules, rules, rules. Enfatuation vs. Love. Don't clown the guy just because he said I love you after 2 months. When you are in love, you are in love. why wait an X amount of months to say it? Granted, you don't say it after 2 dates....but 2 months is not so bad, especially if you spend a lot of time with him. Guys are afraid of the Love word (at least those who have experience in relationships) so if I were you I would feel good knowing that he said it. Don't feel as though you have any pressure to say it back, but try looking into your past 2 months and ask yourself if you can return those feelings. If so, let time dictate when you reciprocate. Now that he said it, he should back off until you say it back and he should NOT say "I love you" every 10 minutes of the day, 7 days a week, etc. until you say it back. You need your space and he should know this....as apparently he does since he told you that you didn't have to say it back.

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NiCoLe20

NiCoLe20

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LOL my b/f did the same thing!!! hahaha... after 2 months he was like " I want to tell you something but I cant" and i knew the whole time what he was trying to say but he was scared to tell me. he eventually did, and I was surprised that he said it so quick but i guess he had strong feelings for me already.

 

id idnt say it back. i just told him im not ready yet and in a couple months or so, if things are going good, i might be ready by then... here we are 6 months later and everythings going soo great!! things like this take time, if your not ready just dont say it back...

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blackendangel13

blackendangel13

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My last ex said it after 3 weeks, well its counterpart "I think I am falling in love with you". He said "I love you" on my birthday a week later. I freaked. We broke up after 6 months and now he is incredibly cold and awkward to me. Guess it was infatuation. Thats kind of a relief for me though, I didn't want that kind of power over him.

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blind_otter

blind_otter

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I dunno. My Dad says he fell in love with my Mom at first sight, when she was walking out of a hospital with her cousin in Saigon during the war. I think that you can feel intensely about someone but it's not really true love until you've had a fight or two, travelled together, and/or gone through some other stressful period of time. My BF and I did get really close really fast, because I had all this craziness in my life and so did he and we leaned on each other a lot through the hard times in our personal lives, and it kind of strengthened the bond we had together, hardcore.

 

love is something that can't be measured, and it's a gift you give to the other person....you can't ask for anything in return, not even an equal amount of love.

 

Am I the only person here who reads Byron and Keats? Where's the romance nowadays?? :p:o

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UltimateZen

UltimateZen

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Originally posted by blind_otter

 

Am I the only person here who reads Byron and Keats? Where's the romance nowadays?? :p:o

 

Byron and Keats did not have to battle divorce lawyers..... :D

 

Love comes at a price....most of us do not have the luxury of having a divorce lawyer on retainer!! :laugh:

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

IhavenoFREAKINclue

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Originally posted by UltimateZen

Don't feel as though you have any pressure to say it back, but try looking into your past 2 months and ask yourself if you can return those feelings.

That's what's great about him. he needed to get it off his chest and he did. I like the fact that he's ok with my not in love with him.

 

Originally posted by blind_otter

I dunno. My Dad says he fell in love with my Mom at first sight,

That's absolutely possible. But not in this case.

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